By Emil Nazaryan
Satisfaction based on attainment is always temporary because we can only be truly happy here and now.
I’ll be happy when:
- I have a lot of money
- Go on a vacation in the Caribbean
- Buy my dream house
- Buy my dream car
- Win a lottery
- Become the top performer in my industry
- My family appreciates me
- All my troubles fade away
Do you notice the inherent flaw in the statements above? If not, rejoice, because today is the day that you awaken! Today is the day your perception of happiness changes! Why? Here it goes…
Most of us live our days in hopes that better days will come. We think that our happiness is at some point in the future, tied to some acquisition, event, achievement or person. We distract our mind from the present and keep it in some magic place in the future, where our happiness exists. How often do you see people in 7-Elevens spending perhaps their last dollar buying a lottery ticket, really believing that winning the hundred million dollar jackpot is going to give them the happiness they’ve been craving? Are you one of those people? I know I was, for the majority of my adult life. But then something changed and that changed everything.
What happened? Did I win the lottery? Did I go on a vacation? Did I buy my dream house, my dream car, become a top performer in my industry? Did my family start appreciating me? Did all my troubles fade away?
First of all, let’s investigate the cause of our unhappiness. From early childhood we are programmed to look for happiness as a thing that exists apart and separate from us. We are taught to believe that we have to work hard for it, make sacrifices to find that illusory feeling. Those who teach us were taught the same thing, going back thousands of years, so they are not to blame. Before getting to the root of the search, let’s answer a simple question. Does a conventional search for lasting happiness work?
Have you ever found lasting happiness after attaining a goal, or an object of your desire? You surely got the satisfaction, but how long did it last? How does an achievement from two years ago make you happy today? Satisfaction based on attainment is always temporary. Hence lasting happiness can’t be found somewhere out there in the future, in things, experiences, achievements or relationships.
Does this mean we should stop striving, desiring and chasing our dreams? Of course not. But we may want to look at our motives, and approach this striving from a different angle.
So, what did happen, that changed my life around? By the grace of God, through different books and authors a clear message made a life-changing impact on my soul. The essence of the message was that we can only be happy here and now. This seed flourished through the practice of gratitude. And what is gratitude but a feeling of contentment and satisfaction with what you already have? Interestingly, what you have doesn’t really matter, as long as you are already grateful for the little that you do have.As little and as profound as being alive. THAT was the game changer. It was the realization that nothing in the future can make me any happier than I am here and now, at every breathing moment. In fact, the future can only be experienced as now when it arrives. So, why not stay happy in this now that lasts forever?
From this moment on don’t let your happiness live in the future. Continue striving, setting and achieving goals, but do it not in the hopes of gaining happiness, but from the viewpoint that you are already happy, no matter the outcome. This understanding comes with a paradoxical twist. Being in the internal state of happiness and satisfaction attracts external success, a success that feels almost effortless. How do I know?
I did not win the lottery. In fact, I haven’t played one since. I stopped worrying about the family appreciating me but, instead, started appreciating the family members the way they are. My troubles did fade away because it turned out that most of them only existed in my mind—and a grateful mind doesn’t have space for imaginary troubles. Vacations, dream cars, dream houses, success in career manifested themselves as well, but they didn’t add anything to the happiness that is already total, complete, constant, eternal here and now.
So, are you happy now, or will you be happy when…?
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com.