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Rising Star Coach September 2023: Karen Poole

Karen Poole, Montgomery, TX

The Dragonfly Society LLC

Are you ready to be your best self?

Karen Poole is a full-time high school special education teacher, corporate trainer for Kitcheneez, and lifelong learner. She lives in Texas with her husband, high school-age daughter, two dogs, and three cats. In Spring 2023 she opened her coaching business, The Dragonfly Society LLC in which she has already served 15 clients regarding their direct sales businesses. Through mindset workshops and one-on-one coaching, Karen focuses on helping clients understand the connection between their mindset and their success in both life and business. After her daughter graduates high school in three years, Karen would like to take her coaching business full time.

What is your niche (coaching focus) and how did you choose it?

I am a Mindset and Business Coach with a focus on women in direct sales. I didn’t really choose to be in this niche. The niche chose me!

My planned niche was confidence with women and youth. As a high school teacher, I see a growing need for youth to develop their confidence. While I still work with clients on confidence, many doors started opening for me in direct sales coaching. I’ve been in direct sales off and on for over 30 years and have made a lot of connections in the industry. In May, I was asked to be the corporate trainer for a direct sales company. In this role, I’m able to be a coach, teacher, and mentor and can use what I’ve learned in the Tranformation Academy courses I’ve taken.

Who is your ideal client?

My ideal client is women who are in direct sales or who own a small business. I work with women who are trying to analyze their mindset so they can determine next steps and where to focus. I especially enjoy working with women who are having a difficult time getting to the next level.

What inspired you to become a life coach?

As a high school teacher, students often come to me with questions or concerns and ask my opinion. I usually try to help them find their own solutions rather than giving them the answers. After helping, they are so grateful and many have told me I need to help others for a living. While I was home with knee surgery in January 2023, I had time to enroll in courses and was ready to go for it! I love helping others!

How long have you been coaching?

I started my courses in January 2023 and officially opened my coaching business on March 1, 2023. So, I haven’t officially been coaching long, but I feel like I’ve been unofficially coaching for 30 years!

How did you get your first client?

One day I was browsing Facebook groups, and I happened to see a post from a local mom who was looking for someone for her son to connect with. I offered to meet with her and her son for 30 minutes to see if I was a good fit and she agreed. After our meeting, she said her son was very comfortable with me, and I was exactly what she was looking for. I had my first client before I even opened!

How has your coaching journey changed your life?

My coaching journey has opened many doors for me. The direct sales company that I represent saw my coaching posts and asked if I would be their corporate trainer! I had been doing training for them off and on for several years, but not in an official capacity. With this new title brought new training responsibilities in which I tie in coaching.

I think I’ve also been taken more seriously in regards to the coaching I do. I have conducted an in-person workshop and several online workshops, which have helped me grow as a person and have helped my business grow.

What is the most challenging part of being a life coach?

Time is probably my biggest challenge right now. I wish I had more time to focus on growing my coaching business. I need to keep teaching for at least the next 3 years, so during the school year, I know I’ll be limited to how many clients I can serve and the times and days I’m available. I already have people asking me when my next mindset workshop will be, and it’s difficult to give an answer when I don’t know what the school year will hold for me.

What is the most fulfilling part of being a life coach?

The ah-ha moments are the best feeling! I love knowing that I have guided someone to realize something that can change their life or their business for the better. That is so fulfilling.

What has been your most inspirational coaching moment, with a client?

I have two inspirational moments. My first client was an elementary school-age boy. It was so inspiring to see that he listened to things we talked about and then applied them during the next couple weeks until I saw him again. He was excited to tell me all about how our tools worked! My second inspirational moment was when someone who had not been successful in direct sales used tools we discussed to make her first sale and get more interaction on her Facebook group than she had ever had.

What is your favorite coaching activity or exercise to do with clients?

In my workshops, I have two forms that I’ve created or modified to work with those in the direct sales industry. Both forms are visuals that help with self-discovery. Any time a client can see where they can improve is powerful. I’ve had several ask me to do my workshop again so they can see if they’ve improved.

What has been the most effective strategy for finding clients and/or growing your business?

I make connections with others and share what I do. That leads them to my free workshops. From the workshops, I am able to grow my business. While I’m not looking for many clients due to school, I know this will be effective when I’m able to take my business full time.

What advice would you give YOURSELF back when you first dreamed of becoming a coach?

Do it now! Don’t wait! I had wanted to help others for so long and put it off. I should have never waited.

What is the impact you want to make in this world?

I want people to feel good about themselves and the success they are able to achieve. Mindset is the root of success. With a growth mindset, anyone can achieve what they deserve!

Never being one to limit myself, I’m currently developing a four-step system that I hope to share with those in the direct sales industry by the end of 2023. It is my hope this system will encourage others to work toward their version of success.

I also will be releasing courses and other materials to go along with the current freebies I already offer on my website. I am confident that these resources will help others grow their mindsets and grow their businesses!

Is there anything else you would like to share with Transformation Coaching Magazine readers?

I encourage everyone to share their passions through life coaching. There is a niche out there for everyone, and there is someone out there waiting to hear what you have to share. Your mindset is the root of your success. And it should be YOUR definition of success. Not someone else’s. If you struggle to find your version of success, find a coach to talk to. You are worth it!

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Exploring the River of Life

Lessons learned on a rafting adventure.

By Mary Boutieller

On a recent five-day rafting trip in Idaho, I had a number of ah-ha moments—about fear, about perspective, about life—and I thought I would share some of those thoughts with you.

Fear: Part of our trip entailed flying in a small plane to the drop-off point. I have “always” had a fear of small planes…based on ONE flight when I was in my 20s and got very motion sick. I also have a slight fear of heights. So, flying in a small plane was not my idea of a good time! I tried to find a way around it to no avail. I talked about my fear to my husband John, our friends, and anyone who would listen. The morning of the flight, I had an upset stomach and ate very little. When we got to the airfield, there were three planes—the largest being an eight-seater. Long story short, I sat directly behind the pilot on the “big” plane and saw everything he did. It was a gorgeous, smooth flight over the river and low mountains. Twice, I almost started crying, not from fear but from dumping all that adrenalin in my body. It was an amazing experience!

After we landed on a grass runway, I realized that my mind had made it so much worse than it was in reality. I wondered how often we conjure up fears over things that haven’t even happened? And, how do we let go of the old storyline and just enjoy the ride? By facing our fears, trusting, and doing it anyway!

Perspective: Being in the raft at river level and seeing the grand mountains on either side of the canyon, I felt insignificant, but not in a bad way. The river was powerful, the mountains were massive, and here I was in a small boat with very little control over our course. So much of what we see depends on where we are when looking at the river. Are we at eye level watching all the turmoil, or standing on the mountain top looking at the calm waters below? Problems in our lives are similar. Sometimes we have to take a step back and change our point of view, remembering that there is always more than one way of looking at things.

Seriousness: There are times to be serious and times to play. My mother used to say that I was born serious. During the first couple of days of the trip, I caught myself trying to make sure everyone else was okay—watching for issues or accidents that might need my attention. It was as if a silent mantra was going on inside my head: “Watch, Wait, Respond, Repeat.” And then, suddenly, it hit me that it wasn’t my job. There were six wonderful and attentive guides on the trip who were doing a fantastic job! I physically felt a weight lift off my shoulders and realized that I could let go of this mantel of responsibility and just have fun. For someone who has lived most of her life in wary vigilance, it was a huge realization.

Life: We are both captains and passengers along the flow of life, and we can resist all we want, but the river—life—will win, and we will continue down the path one way or the other. We can either stand on the sidelines and let the river pass us by, or we can jump in. Let’s be willing to get wet, look up at the stars, and live our best lives.

I’ll end with a quote by Maria Popova: “It bears repeating that what makes life livable is our ability—our willingness—to move through the world wonder-smitten by reality.”

Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at:

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When the Goal Isn’t the Finish Line

When we reach a point in our lives when we know that we are already more than half past our time allotment on this planet, there is a different awareness.

By Linda Commito

I’ve never been accused of being an athlete! It wasn’t until my late 20s that I ran my first race in Boulder, Colorado at 5,318 miles above sea level. I had just moved there from the East Coast and signed up for an exercise class. I hated the running portion of the class, but after several weeks and the purchase of my first pair of running shoes, I actually had some fleeting moments of pleasure—the so-called “runner’s high.” I decided to enter a 10k race, the Bolder Boulder, and ran it with about 9,000 of my closest friends . . . and I mean “closest!” It was encouraging and fun seeing people on the sidelines cheering us on as we crossed the finish line.

I was happy to be able do it and to experience the joy of a shared accomplishment. And it was OK that I never ran another race. For decades, I got my “Rocky Mountain High” hiking Colorado’s beautiful mountain trails. I learned that the goal wasn’t crossing a finish line but doing what I loved, appreciating the journey and those who were sharing it with me.

And I wish I could have realized that during the height of my goal-oriented, workaholic years as a business owner, but I have come to value and appreciate that understanding in my life now. There’s a different awareness once we reach a point in our lives when we know that we are already more than half past our time allotment on this planet, and not only is there no rush to get to the finish line, we don’t usually know when that will be.

In the last six weeks, I have been poignantly aware of how suddenly we can be facing that final time, and the best we can expect is to have lived our lives as fully and lovingly as we could each step of the way. I’d like to share how two dear friends made their lives matter.

Deana Gozder was a shining light. I met her in 2011 when I joined AWG (Awesome Women’s Group of 11) and was honored to be a part of for the next 10 years. Deana lived from a place of grace and gratitude. In 2009 she had received a new set of lungs after hers were ready to give out. She said: “It was the best day of my new life, with the promise of many more ahead.” Dee was usually smiling, always giving, always a joy to be with. As an educator, she went beyond her work to do her best to support individuals and families in need. After a blessed 14 years of extra time, sadly, Deana passed away at 54 years old on July 18, 2023, leaving many loved ones to honor and celebrate her beautiful life.

Sometimes we know that the finish line is closer, but in Lil Peltz Petow’s case, it came as a total shock. Lil lived life full on! At 72, she was an amazing athlete and tennis champion, winning 11 Gold Balls in her age group. Strong, resilient, dedicated, she was always willing to teach, coach or help others, whether it was a few pointers on the court, helping a handicapped friend, or supporting another through a painful divorce. Lil had a big heart and never had a finish line when it came to helping her friends. She recently told my partner Francesco, her dear friend and Monday tennis partner: “We’re going to be 85 and still playing tennis every Monday!”

But life throws curve balls when least expected. Although just a few months before, Lil had competed in Croatia, she suddenly was not feeling well enough to play for a couple of weeks at home. She went to the hospital for tests and was admitted immediately with “acute leukemia.” Days later, she contracted pneumonia and sepsis, weakening her system even further. Lil whispered to Francesco, “I want to go FAST!” And she did just that to the shock of all those who knew her. But not before asking Francesco to bring his guitar to the hospital room where 14 friends and family members had gathered, and having everyone dancing to the music.

Throughout Lil’s life, she inspired people to be their best on and off the tennis court in the game of LIFE. We may think “we have all the time in the world” until we don’t. That awareness is even more poignant as we think about what is most important each day—appreciating who and what we have, being thankful for the loving friends and family, the good health, and the time to do what we love, to be with those we cherish, and to contribute what we can to leave a legacy of love and kindness.

We may never know when our finish line is near, but we can do our best to live our lives fully, lovingly, gratefully, and with no regrets, so that when we reach it, we will be at peace.

Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Linda’s award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love Is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Her latest project, the card game Just Ask 1 2 3, was inspired by a desire to connect people of all different ages, beliefs and lifestyles to share our individuality and find commonality. Linda also created “Kindness Starts with Me,” a program, book and website for children. For more information visit or visit the Facebook page

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The Silent Witness

Want wisdom and guidance? Tap into your Higher Self.

By Anthony Talmage

If we want to get a feel for the living consciousness of the Universe a good starting point would be to get to know our Higher Self. Didn’t know you had a Higher Self? It is the part of us that transcends our physical bodies and ego, and connects us to a higher power or universal consciousness. It is always striving towards growth, evolution and expansion. And the best part is, we all have one.

We can think of our higher selves as a guiding force within that is always there, waiting for us to tune in and listen. When we connect with our Higher Self, we tap into a reservoir of wisdom, guidance and creativity that can help us navigate through any challenges or obstacles in our lives. Some call it the “Divine Spark,” the “Inner Self,” or the “Eternal Soul.” As the philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “The soul is not a substance, but a series of events.”

The Higher Self is also the source of our intuition and inner wisdom. It is the part of us that knows what is right and true, and guides us towards our highest good. As spiritual guru Deepak Chopra says, “The Higher Self is the silent witness behind all our thoughts and actions, the still point amidst the chaos of our minds.” And it speaks to us through our gut feelings, instincts, and subtle nudges. It may guide us towards opportunities, help us make decisions, or give us the courage to take risks.

Another important aspect of the Higher Self is its connection to the Universe as a whole. We are all interconnected and our Higher Self is part of a greater consciousness that encompasses all of existence. As the mystic poet Rumi wrote, “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” Yes, it really is a holographic Universe.

Connecting with our Higher Self can be a transformative experience, leading to greater self- awareness, inner peace and spiritual growth. Eckhart Tolle says, “When you become aware of the Presence within you, you can use it as a positive force in your life.”

Someone who is a great believer that her Higher Self is the key to a life of abundance, joy and purpose is spiritual teacher and author, Gabrielle Bernstein. Born and raised in New York City, Gabrielle had a turbulent childhood, struggling with drug addiction, depression and anxiety. However, after hitting rock bottom, she had a spiritual awakening that changed her life forever. Since then, she has dedicated her life to helping others find the same sense of peace and fulfillment that she found. Was it her Higher Self that intervened or did her Higher Self manifest out of the white heat of her suffering?

Gabrielle’s central teaching is that we all have the power to transform our lives through aligning ourselves with the Universe, tapping into our inner wisdom. Her Higher Self has enabled her to become an inspiration and a powerful force for good in the world. Her teachings on spirituality and personal growth have transformed countless lives and have helped people from all walks of life find greater peace, purpose and fulfillment.

Another celebrity figure who speaks openly about her Higher Self is Oprah Winfrey. Born into poverty in rural Mississippi, Oprah faced many challenges and obstacles on her path to success. However, she always had a strong sense of purpose and drive within her, which she attributed to her connection with her Higher Self. From a young age, Oprah felt a calling to make a difference in the world and to use her voice to inspire and empower others.

As she pursued her career in television and media, Oprah continued to tap into her Higher Self for guidance and inspiration. She practiced meditation and self-reflection regularly, and often spoke about the importance of listening to one’s intuition and inner voice.

Oprah’s journey to tapping into her Higher Self was not always easy, and she faced many challenges along the way. But through her dedication to self-discovery and spiritual growth, she has become a role model for millions of people around the world who are seeking to connect with their own higher selves.

Develop Your Connection

Yes, that’s all very well, I hear you say, but how exactly do I connect with my Higher Self? OK, here are some tried and tested methods. There’s no mystery to it. Portals include:

Meditation: This is one of the most powerful ways to connect with your Higher Self. Through meditation, you can quiet your mind, let go of distractions, and focus on your inner being.

Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal can help you connect with your Higher Self. Journaling can help you reflect on your experiences and gain insights into your inner world.

Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness involves being present in the moment and fully engaged in the experience. This can help you connect with your Higher Self by allowing you to be more aware of your thoughts, emotions and physical sensations.

• Creative expression: Engaging in creative activities such as painting, dancing or writing can help you access your Higher Self by tapping into your inner creativity and intuition.

Seek guidance: Talk to spiritual teachers, mentors or trusted friends who have experience connecting with their Higher Self. They may be able to offer insights and techniques to help you on your journey.

Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful way to connect with your Higher Self. Take some time each day to appreciate the good things in your life.

It is important to remember that there is no one right way to connect with your Higher Self. Experiment with different methods and find what works best for you. With time and practice, you will be able to connect.

Final thoughts:

  • Be patient. It takes time and effort to connect with your Higher Self. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see results immediately.
  • Be open-minded. There is no one right way to connect with your Higher Self. Be open to new experiences and possibilities.
  • Be persistent. Don’t give up on your journey to connect with your Higher Self. Keep trying and you will eventually succeed. 

Your Higher Self beckons.

Anthony Talmage is author of four books in his Psychic Mind series: Dowse Your Way To Psychic Power, In Tune With The Infinite Mind, Unlock The Psychic Powers Of Your Unconscious Mind and Crack the Cosmic Code (and write your own tomorrow) all available in Kindle and printed versions from Amazon here: Anthony covers more of the above themes in his first podcast, available absolutely free. Just click on this link to listen or download: So far it’s had 15,000 downloads and counting.

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Pride vs. Grace

When you don’t fight the ego, you don’t feed the ego, and it dissolves into our true human nature, which is perfect in its essence.

By Emil Nazaryan

Years ago I was waiting tables in a restaurant. Occasionally, I would get “high maintenance” customers. You know the type! Condescending demeanor with a sense of superiority over you—“the little waiter”—complaints about every slight imperfection, using every opportunity to showcase their superiority by mentioning what they do, what they have or who they know…Do you know someone like this? There was one particular customer, a very wealthy lady, who was a regular. She would get so upset if I tried to refill her coffee. Each refill meant a new cup altogether. Having to drink from a refill…what a nightmare, right?

Then, there is another type. A short, sweet lady walked into the restaurant one day to meet her friends for lunch. She was so easy going, caring, with a good sense of humor. It was a pleasure waiting on their table. I later found out she was the past mayor of Virginia Beach, Meyera Oberndorf. And boy, was I shocked! See, where I came from, the mayor of every little town would only be in public with several bodyguards, a caravan of super-expensive cars and dressed in the most expensive suits. Ordinary mortals had to get out of their way, or else! I was having a hard time grasping that this simple, kind and gracious lady was the mayor of the largest city in Virginia. Nevertheless, I was so impressed and floored by her humility. It felt good to be around her.

Do you wonder what the motivating factors were for each of these behaviors? Let’s solve the puzzle. In the first case, it was pride. In the second case, it was grace.

Now, let’s dig a little deeper into each. What is pride? Isn’t it a good thing? Aren’t we taught to be proud of our achievements and achievements of our loved ones? Is it wrong to do so? The answer hangs on one attribute of pride which divides it into two categories—healthy and unhealthy.

It’s the sense of superiority. This sense of superiority is a double-edged sword. It is always tied to something, either wealth, social position, strength, beauty, possessions, achievements, titles, etc. Is your intuition starting to show you the other edge of the sword? First, all of the above are transitory. What happens to this proud person if they lose their wealth, possessions, grow old and lose the body, looks, etc.? What happens when they come across someone who is wealthier, looks better, has a higher position? What happens to their identity? Suffering and, in extreme cases—suicide. How many stories have you heard of wealthy and famous people taking their own lives after losing their “self-worth” that was tied up outside of them? Obviously, this is an example of “unhealthy pride.”

Now let’s turn to “healthy pride.” It’s perfectly fine to feel proud of accomplishments when the sense of superiority is absent. You are proud of something you or your loved ones have achieved, regardless if others have done better or worse. You are happy with what you have and you don’t need to compare it to what others have or don’t have. This is “healthy pride.” This cannot come back and bite you because it’s source is within you and not outside of you.

We have arrived at a decent understanding of pride, I hope. You may ask: “How should we deal with the people who are acting with unhealthy pride towards us?” Great question. I admit, it can be difficult. Our initial impulse is to strike back, show them their place, demonstrate how we don’t care about “who they know.” Let’s hurt them smack in the same place where they try to hurt us—the ego.

Let me know how that approach works out for you.

There is a way better way.

Remember, that underneath all the pride there is a human. Realize the fragility of the people whose self-worth is tied to external things. Replace the resentment with compassion and understanding.

Remember the lady with the fresh coffee cup? Each time she came into the restaurant, I didn’t wait for her to ask for it; I would just bring her a freshly brewed cup. Not only that, I did it with a smile and genuine compliments. After a few visits, she would give me a hug as soon as they walked in, she would request that only I wait on their table, and they always left disproportionately large tips. But the best part was that we had made a genuine human-to-human connection, past all the layers of the ego. Now imagine whether the outcome would have been the same if I had snapped at her when she asked for a fresh cup after the delivery of a perfectly fine one just two minutes earlier!

See, here is the secret. The ego thrives on opposition, conflicts and resentment. When you don’t fight the ego, you don’t feed the ego, and it dissolves into our true human nature, which is perfect in its essence.

Now, let’s turn our attention to grace, or humility. True humility is one of the most beautiful things in the world. It is also one of the most powerful things. The core of humility is selflessness, and what is selflessness but “egolessness.” It is liberating. It is the best defense because it doesn’t need any defense. It is focused on the good for others. It is a source of endless giving and, not only does it not run out, it grows the more you give. It is a pillar of happiness for yourself and others. Imagine meeting someone extraordinarily successful, famous and powerful, having every right to have a high opinion of themselves, but when you meet them, they turn out to be the most humble, genuine and easy going person with an uplifting sense of humor. How do you feel about them? Think Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa. Do you think their egos were the source of their immense power and love? Indeed, the source was the absence of their ego. And that’s why their timeless love and legacy remain with us long after they are gone.

So, here you are today. Which motive is going to be running your life moving forward? Pride or grace?

Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at

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No Compromise! Do THIS Instead

A NEW paradigm for creating happy, healthy, SUSTAINABLE relationships.

By Terez Hartmann

The Old Paradigm…

So many of us have heard a zillion so-called “experts” say, time and time again, that compromise is the “cornerstone” of all great relationships…

…Yet, as a human who has observed the dynamics of hundreds of couples from different generations, and one who has had more than her own share of difficult past relationship experiences, THIS is actually what I have seen play out when compromise is dominant in a relationship:

Scenario #1: If one party always compromises and does what the other wants, the relationship gets out of balance, one partner continues to feel like their needs are less important (or just  don’t matter), and, viola, resentment ensues = bummer.

Scenario #2: If both parties never really get to live FULLY, go where they are called, or have to dim their light or expression, neither can be truly happy = resentment = bummer.

Scenario #3: If both parties take turns doing things they don’t really want to do to please their partner, it becomes more of a “tit-for-tat” business-energy-type system, (rather than a natural flow love-based system), resulting in making “deals” and “recordkeeping” that often places one party in a position to experience less = resentment = bummer.

Given these scenarios, it’s no wonder that even after being together for decades, so many couples end up ultimately parting ways. Why? In the long run, a life of compromising yourSELF, dreams, desires, freedom, and natural flow is simply NOT sustainable or beneficial for EITHER party, and resentment is, by far, one of the most destructive forces in a relationship.

The question is, what, then, is the ALTERNATIVE?

How can two individuals (or friends, family members, business partners, etc.) with unique thoughts, ideas, perspectives and intentions truly live happily-ever-after in this crazy world?

The answer is far simpler (and win-win) than most realize.

A New Paradigm: Do THIS instead!
In the very beginning stages of our relationship, my now-husband John and I learned a powerful lesson about compromise…

Though my honey was almost always up for a new adventure and very go-with-the-flow, I started to notice that there were times when he would seem to get frustrated with me for no apparent reason.

When I asked what was up, he later confessed that he really was not up for THAT particular experience at THAT moment (due to not feeling well/it just wasn’t his thing/he REALLY wanted to be home working on a project, etc.), so by “compromising” what he truly wanted to do to “go-along” with my program of the moment, NEITHER one of us got to truly enjoy the experience. Giant. Bummer.

BUT when he realized that I actually cared about what mattered to him, and that I only wanted him to say “yes” if it was conducive to his well-being, if he meant it, and if he would enjoy the experience, we were able to nip that in the bud STAT…

…And from that point forward, we decided that instead of participating in the old paradigm of “compromise” it was time to upgrade to a NEW paradigm:


= We only say “yes” when we mean “yes” and can be all-in

= When we want to do different things due to timing, energy level, or simply because said “thing” is simply NOT our jam, we, as grown-up people, opt to either:

1. Fly solo and do the thing at that moment


2. Do the thing with family or friends

3. Do something ELSE at that moment that we BOTH really DO enjoy, and then do the (other) thing solo or with family/friends

= No one feels slighted—BOTH feel VALUED and VALUABLE

= No one is asked to dim their light—BOTH get to follow what we are called to do and what feels best

= No one has to have a crappy experience—BOTH get to enjoy the journey

= We get the fun of sharing stories with each other and the joy of coming home to each other

= BOTH people get to live FULLY and authentically

= Happy couple that is operating from a place of TRUE LOVE for the benefit of BOTH

= Living happily ever AFTER and NOW

And the beautiful part about living this way? We have continued to enjoy a truly authentic, fun, healthy, happy, SUSTAINABLE relationship for over 23 years, and also encourage (and typically attract) this same flow with our friends, family and creative partners*!

= The ULTIMATE win-win!

The Bottom Line: No Compromise! Do THIS Instead

While emergencies and “life” will happen, which can cause any and all parties to sort through not-so-fun, challenging experiences, imagine a world where, as a rule, ALL get to love, work, express, and LIVE in the style, rhythm and flow that feeds their well-being and joy, allow their authenticity, strengths and natural gifts to shine, and feel truly free to get to embrace whatever is conducive to their personal evolution and expansion? You may not be able to change the entire world overnight, but…

When you build BRIDGES (not walls)

and HARMONIZE (instead of compromise)

You encourage happiness for ALL

And your love will only ever RISE!

Here’s to attracting and allowing healthy, happy, SUSTAINABLE relationships, being a beautiful example of LOVE in action (for the benefit of ALL), and to truly living Life on FIRE!

*BTW…Love the idea of helping yourself or others manifest, attract & allow Love, and Happy, Healthy, SUSTAINABLE Relationships? Visit:

Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann is a Visionary Creative & top-rated instructor, Law of Attraction & Allowing YOUR Success specialist, published author, speaker, singer-songwriter, recording & performing artist & composer, “Catalyst for Fab-YOU-lous” and true Renaissance Woman who has already helped over 10,000 students in over 130 countries allow success and live life on FIRE. She is deeply passionate about helping other Powerful Creatives and Leading-Edge Thinkers live unique, empowered lives on their terms by cultivating the courage to dream, to express themselves boldly & authentically, and to focus Onward, Upward and Forward into new possibilities.

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From Good to Great

Ten tips to help you become an exceptional coach.

By Marla J. Albertie

Coaching, as we know, is a powerful tool that empowers individuals to reach their full potential and achieve personal or professional goals. Yet, not all coaches are created equal. The journey from being a good coach to becoming a great one involves a profound shift in approach, mindset, and various skillsets. It’s not just about imparting knowledge or offering guidance; it’s about creating transformative experiences that leave a lasting impact. In this exploration, we delve into 10 crucial insights that illuminate great coaching. Whether you’re a seasoned coach seeking to elevate your practice or someone venturing into the world of coaching, these tips serve as navigational beacons on your path to becoming an exceptional coach who fosters true growth and meaningful change.

1. Vision and Strategy: A great coach has a clear vision for success and develops effective strategies to achieve it, outlining goals and steps to reach them.

2. Communication Skills: Great coaches excel in communication, actively listening, providing constructive feedback, and fostering open dialogue to ensure understanding and collaboration. They are always seeking new methods to enhance their communication skills.

3. Adaptability: Great coaches can adapt their coaching style to individual needs, recognizing that each person is unique and requires personalized guidance. Great coaches realize one coaching method will not fit all.

4. Emotional Intelligence: Great coaches understand and manage their own emotions well, while also empathizing with others, recognizing their feelings, and supporting their emotional well-being. Self-awareness is the first component of emotional intelligence and great coaches understand this.

5. Leadership: They inspire and motivate others, leading by example and instilling a positive culture that promotes growth, development and accountability.

6. Expertise and Continuous Learning: Great coaches possess deep knowledge in their field and continuously seek opportunities to learn and grow, staying updated with the latest trends and developments. They are not afraid to explore different areas and learn outside the box.

7. Goal Setting and Planning: They set clear, challenging goals and collaboratively develop actionable plans to achieve them, ensuring progress is monitored and adjustments are made as needed.

8. Mental Skills Development: Great coaches prioritize the development of mental skills such as resilience, confidence, focus and self-discipline, recognizing their importance in achieving success.

9. Building Relationships: They establish strong relationships built on trust, respect and mutual understanding, fostering a supportive environment that enhances collaboration and performance.

10. Character Development: Great coaches strive to develop well-rounded individuals, emphasizing values such as integrity, empathy and teamwork, as well as fostering personal growth beyond just the task at hand.

In the realm of coaching, the difference between being good and great lies in the depth of impact and transformation one can inspire. Great coaches go beyond surface-level guidance; they connect deeply with their clients, fostering trust, empathy and understanding. They continually seek personal growth, honing their skills to adapt to diverse situations and challenges. Their approach is not just about imparting knowledge but empowering individuals to discover their own solutions.

By incorporating these insights, aspiring coaches can embark on a fulfilling and impactful journey, while seasoned coaches can take their practice to new heights. In the end, the pursuit of greatness in coaching is not just about accolades; it’s about the positive ripple effect that transforms lives, empowers individuals, and creates a better world one coaching session at a time.

Marla J. Albertie is the founder Truth Speaks Group, LLC, a multi-media coaching company dedicated to creating solutions for integrating work and life to create harmony. Marla loves to read, is a concert and comedy show junkie and a cruiser for life. Follow Marla on Twitter @tspeakscoaching and IG @Tspeaksgroup. Sign up for the Truth Speaks Group LLC Newsletter at

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Outdated or Updated?

How to avoid becoming obsolete.

By Darrel Hammon

Manufacturers plan for obsolescence, ensuring you will have to trade in your old computer, microwave, or iron for a new one, usually, just a few years after the warranty goes belly up or after you have paid for the third add-on warranty you purchased to keep the first warranty fresh. Unfortunately, human beings do not have the ability for an extended warranty unless you create your own warranty by improving yourself and your situation.

We can become obsolete in a variety of areas. Our career or personal obsolescence usually comes because we talk ourselves into it. While there may be many more ways, here are a mere six to avoid that will push you there of your own volition and choice.

1. The system won’t let us do this (it’s above my pay grade). The ubiquitous “system” tends to lull us into lethargy, thinking that nothing can be done because what you are asking is way above your pay grade. Often, we hide behind the system because we do not want to do anything about it. Many systems, particularly software systems, have a zillion capabilities, and we only know how to do 10 percent—if that much—not wanting to invest in learning anything more. It could be more strenuous than we have the courage for. If we do not take chances and stretch a wee bit, then we will never grow, and the system will run us.

2. We have done that before, and it didn’t work. Thinking this way will never let new and innovative ideas emerge. What if Thomas Edison had said that? No electricity. What about Gates and Jobs—any of those tech visionaries who invented something. No fast and efficient computers. Sometimes, we must keep on trying or trying a different way to make something happen. Persistence is just part of the equation for success, and it keeps us out of the obsolescence mode.

3. Nobody has ever done that. Perhaps not, but that does not necessarily mean it cannot be done. Entrepreneurs are constantly asking the question, “What hasn’t been done before?” Or “What is needed and is currently not on the market?” and then going out and making it happen.

4. Why do I have to do that? Can’t someone else do it? Asking, “Why do I have to do that?” is merely an avoidance issue because you really don’t want to do whatever is asked of you. While some may call it laziness, it may hinge on you not really knowing how to do that particular task. Instead, you feel if you ask for help, you may expose what you do not know to others. Whether it is avoidance, laziness, excuses, or some other reason, it will usually relegate you to obsolescence because it shows you don’t want to grow and develop. Asking questions is good if we strive to seek out the answers that will help us improve.

5. This company has been around a very long time so I’m pretty safe; besides, I don’t do change. Tell that to the whaling industry when the lightbulb came into being or, more recently, tell that to Blockbuster when Netflix showed up or Myspace when Facebook emerged or dozens of other companies. What is artificial intelligence (AI) going to do to our world, our life? Change will definitely happen, and it is no respecter of persons or companies. We are vulnerable unless we brush off the cobwebs and learn how to do business in an ever-changing ecosystem. Plus, becoming so comfortable with what we are doing may turn into complacency and obsolescence. An adage says, “If you are not progressing, you are retrogressing.” One of your best choices is to learn new skills along the way and make yourself useful and then keep improving.

6. Why should I even try? Asking this question illustrates two possibilities: 1) You are at your wit’s end and really do not want to try again; or 2) You just say that because you are not willing to put forth the effort. Perhaps you have experienced some negativity, or you really tried and were put down until you do not even want to try and get up. If you are in that situation, it may be better for you to get out and do something else. Before you go, however, be sure to upgrade your skills and be ready for your next adventure if you are working for someone else.

Becoming obsolete in your career—or in your personal life—can only cause pain and harm; however, learning how to be creative and inventive will propel you along the ever-changing path that will keep your head above the froth of life.

Obsolescence does not become you.

Darrel L. Hammon has been dabbling in writing in a variety of genres since his college days, having published poetry, academic and personal articles/essays, a book titled Completing Graduate School Long Distance (Sage Publications), and a picture book, The Adventures of Bob the Bullfrog: Christmas Beneath a Frozen Lake (Outskirts Press). He also was the editor of the Journal of Adult Education (Mountain Plains Adult Education Association). Most of his essay/article writing has focused on topics about growing up, leadership, self-awareness, motivation, marriage/dating, and educational topics. Some of these articles/essays are in Spanish because Darrel is bilingual in Spanish/English, having lived in Chile, Dominican Republic, and southern California, and having worked with Latino youth and families all of his professional life in higher education. He has two blogs, one for personal writing at and one for his consulting/life coaching business (

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An Impossible Dream?

It’s time to stand and fearlessly fight the fear and anxiety that clutter our minds.

By Jo Mooy

Several months ago I saw an extraordinary production of “Man of La Mancha.” I’ve seen it on and off Broadway, but this “virtuoso performance” (to quote the reviews) was modernized with spot on comparisons to the 21st century. The play blended 400-year-old history with current events. In Cervantes’ Don Quixote, the original prison backdrop was the 1605 Spanish Inquisition. This production replaced that time-frame with a 2023 immigration detention center. Just in case you missed the message, the director added an exclamation point by casting it with mostly Hispanic actors.

The stunning signature song, The Impossible Dream has been sung by hundreds of A-List artists. But in this production, it was no longer just words I was hearing. Rather, the lyrics, sung by Mauricio Martinez, became an anthem for each of us witnessing a world on fire and turned upside down. His personal story is an Impossible Dream. A Mexican immigrant, a four-time cancer survivor, he went from selling trinkets on the streets of Times Square to starring roles on Broadway and an Emmy-Award winning actor. His version evoked a powerful hush of anticipation in the audience as he took center stage. As his voice reached the high notes, tearful responses were heard across the theater as each person, absorbing the full impact of the lyrics, “got it.”

Each line was an emotional roller coaster and a call to arms that appealed to the superhero lying dormant in all of us. To run where the brave dare not go…to be willing to march into hell for that heavenly cause is bigger than a challenge. It begs you to summon up triumphant courage in the face of any difficulty you encounter. To stand and fearlessly fight the dragons and unruly monsters of fear and anxiety that clutter our minds. And to meet the foe no matter how bruised and battered and weary you become. Was doing all of that an Impossible Dream or not?

Fear and distrust are today’s coins of the realm. They’re freely dispensed in the opinions of anyone who commands a podium. The opinions are seldom balanced or inspired, and they demand the audience take a side. This leads to a spiraling cycle of more fear and more distrust. It almost becomes a physical constriction because these unbalanced opinions make you believe that “everyone” feels a certain way. If you’re not strong enough in your own beliefs and sense of self, it will magnetically drag you down into the anxiety abyss.

I’ve seen it upend the spiritual practices of strong individuals. When fear and anxiety becomes so overwhelming the flames of the dragons seems to scorch the life out of them. The will to stand with the last ounce of courage withers. They’re left in a desert of despair, withdrawing from their supportive communities and all social interaction,.

The Impossible Dream demanded I look at fear a different way. In two minutes and seventeen seconds it stirred the soul of not what was, but what could be. In those two minutes, the word possible was brightly lit up in the word impossible. It signaled hope again. It was possible to fight the dragons! It was possible to vanquish the foe! It was possible to do something instead of waiting for something to happen. It was not an Impossible Dream! Everything was truly possible!

Believing in the Impossible Dream is about honoring moral values, ethics and high ideals. It’s about doing the right thing and being cherished for doing that instead of ridiculed. It’s about taking up the mantle of spiritual knights who dream possibilities into life. Spiritual knights who imagine and demand a more just and more compassionate world. Spiritual knights who join the worldwide army of visionaries who share those same ideals. Who bravely stand up for the downtrodden.

Astrologically, the planets are aligning to bring the Impossible Dream into form. Pluto, the planet of power, moves into Aquarius and remain there for 20 years. Old, rigid top-down structures will crumble so new green shoots emerge in human consciousness. The natural world conspires with visionaries, reminding everyone that it IS a safe harbor for peace, serenity and sustenance.

During this time, personal perspectives and beliefs will rapidly change. The world will become more humanitarian and spiritual. The younger generations, (Z and Alpha), on the world stage now are coming of age. They see each other neutrally and with fewer labels that divide us. The possibilities inherent in the holy hymn of The Impossible Dream will emerge. And, a new reality of higher ideals will become miraculously grounded into human consciousness. The dream is way more than possible!

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to or email

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