By Mary Boutieller
Just to be seen, even if only for a moment, can be the balm that we all need.
What do you see when you walk down the street or pass by someone on the sidewalk? Do you take time to notice the plants, the myriad colors, the changes happening all around you? Do you notice the hair color or the shirt of the passerby? Do they look happy or deep in thought? What do you see and feel as you move through the world? Do you feel anything?
In reality, I’d guess that many of us have forgotten to really notice our surroundings. Maybe we think we’ve seen it all before. Maybe we’re too busy getting from Point A to Point B and checking our texts to make eye contact. Often, I take a walk in our nearby park and pass by a dozen or so people each time. I say hello to almost all of them…yet I receive back responses from maybe a third, which always surprises me! After all, chances are we are neighbors. So I wonder when it is that we became less friendly? When did we become more comfortable with downcast eyes and distant stares? When did we forget the power of a smile?
Recently, I watched a show and was struck by a conversation between the host and a featured photographer. The photographer said that the more he got to know his environment, the safer he felt. When he could identify “that bird, that tree, that plant” his surroundings felt more familiar and he could let down his guard a little bit. The conversation resonated with me as I remembered being a child in a neighborhood where everybody knew everybody. Neighbors knew who we were—the five of us kids—and what we were and weren’t supposed to be doing. They greeted us when they saw us and weren’t afraid to tell us to stop doing something we weren’t supposed to be doing. Unruly behavior would be communicated to our mom…and we didn’t want that!
So I wondered, again, what it would be like if we sought out our neighbors, smiled at strangers, and said hello to everyone we passed along the way? What would it hurt and what would we gain? We would gain familiarity; we would begin to recognize the territory that we inhabit and feel safe within it? We might even feel at home. Our fears and suspicions often don’t hold up under scrutiny, so perhaps we’d be willing to take a closer look.
I am rarely deterred on my quest to say hello to people, even if I sometimes get discouraged. I truly believe that if we make an effort, don’t give up, and become more curious than afraid, we can start a ripple effect toward kindness, right where we are.
Elizabeth Gilbert said, “To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow—this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.”
Just to be seen, even if only for a moment, can be the balm that we all need.
The next time you are out and about, take time to notice what you’ve been overlooking: a neighbor’s lovingly tended yard, a flower in bloom, a stranger smiling and saying hello. Look for the good around you. There are so many gorgeous things to see and feel, you might be surprised by how much is out there just waiting for you to notice.
Mark Nepo said, “No matter where we think we are going, the journey of every life is to find its home in the moment where everything touches everything else.”
We are not separate from each other. We are not alone either. Let’s spread love like seeds and see if we can, each in our own way, make a difference.
Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.