By Linda Commito
We are all connected, and it is important to be more compassionate if we hope to create a kinder, more inclusive world.
There are many things that I am concerned or anxious about these days, especially given the current state of affairs in our country and the world. Lingering covid, gun violence, and political discord have been wearing, with few or no solutions to alleviate our stress. I admit that I find comfort in my home and am not as open to being “out there.” In fact, when I am out, I avoid crowds and sometimes find myself looking over my shoulder or checking out my environment to make sure that it is safe. But none of this prepared me for what happened next.
One early morning, on my way to a health-care appointment, I was at a traffic light, awaiting an opportunity to turn “right on red”, but each of my three attempts felt too risky. I had noticed a big black truck close behind me, and looked up to see an angry face in my rear-view mirror, with both arms raised in a “What the f…” expression. I raised my arms up to express: “What can I do?” The light changed and I went on my way.
I’m not sure why I noticed that the same big truck, with the driver who had been in such a rush, was now following at a short distance behind me. It had me on alert. I was close to my destination and slowed, putting my right turn signal on. Although there were no other cars on the road and he could easily have passed me, he stayed behind. With the uneasy feeling of being stalked, I turned into my destination, a squared-off parking area, hoping that he would pass by. He didn’t and turned into the same lot. My anxiety was raised, yet I considered, maybe he was going there too.
My intuition said, “Don’t Park!” so I drove around the edge of the parking area and watched as he went into two spaces to turn around. My gut reaction was to “Get the heck out of there!”which I did immediately. And instinctively, I did the opposite of what would be logical: I went left, back the way I had come, as fast as I could, and watched in my rear-view mirror as he went the other way, but apparently, still looking for me, turned into the next side street.
Concerned about going back to keep my appointment, I did so with trepidation. With no people around, I thought: What if he showed up again, how would he express his anger on my car or me? And what would I do? I found myself wondering: What is going on that people have such anger – even early in the morning when their day has barely started? And how can we protect ourselves against such spontaneous rage? What kind of a scary world are we living in, not knowing who can pull out a gun at any moment and do harm to someone they don’t even know for who-knows-what reason?
I will confess that I felt off-kilter for the next two days with an upset stomach and an increased level of anxiety. But with prayers and meditation and talking with my partner and friends, I determined that I would not allow anyone to affect my quality of life and what I believe to be true. WE ARE ALL CONNECTED and it is important to be more compassionate if we hope to create a kinder, more inclusive world. We never know what someone else is going through. I sent blessings in my mind to this man, hoping that whatever was upsetting his life would be alleviated. And I expressed my gratitude that I was protected from a situation that could have ended otherwise.
That is not to say that I plan to ignore the safety of myself or others. It is helpful to pay attention. I vowed to slow down and to be more patient in traffic or in line. I also considered what practical things I could do in the future such as carry a loud whistle and, if in a car, do what a friend suggested: drive to a busy shopping area and hit the car alarm or call 911.
I am aware that this is a minor event compared to the anguish that so many people experience every day—fears of bombing, violence, hunger . . . and it makes my heart ache. The news can be overwhelming, but I don’t want to allow fear to stop me from being the best human being that I can each and every day. I’ve determined to maintain and amp up the compassionate quality of my life. I love expressing this Loving-kindness meditation: “May the hearts of all beings be filled with happiness and peace.”
How can we deal with our fears and still remember why we are here, and do our best in each moment to make a positive, loving difference in someone’s day or life?
How can we deal with our fears and still remember why we are here, and to do our best in each moment to make a positive, loving difference in someone’s day or life?
Linda Commito, author, speaker, entrepreneur, consultant and teacher, is passionate about her vision to leave this world a kinder, more loving, and interconnected place. Linda’s award-winning book of inspirational stories, Love Is the New Currency, demonstrates how we can each make an extraordinary difference in the lives of others through simple acts of love and kindness. Her latest project, the card game Just Ask 1 2 3, was inspired by a desire to connect people of all different ages, beliefs and lifestyles to share our individuality and find commonality. Linda also created “Kindness Starts with Me,” a program, book and website for children. For more information visit http://www.LoveistheNewCurrency.com or visit the Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Justask123game.