Photo Credit: Pixabay/Cuncon
By Anna Simpson
When you find happiness on your own it becomes so much easier to connect with someone special.
I love the idea of natural attraction. Isn’t it nice that when you passionately desire something it just flows naturally to your life? Oh, the joy of natural manifestation. If only! I wish it were that easy…
Buying into the idea of natural manifestation at the beginning of my personal growth journey added fuel to my frustration. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting what I wanted. Why wasn’t the Law of Attraction working for me? What was wrong with me?
At the time, I was oblivious to the fact that I wasn’t using it correctly. The Law of Attraction always works. Just like the Law of Gravity, it is undeniable and inevitable, and it doesn’t require your belief.
To put it simply: The word attraction is based on action! What are YOU doing about manifesting your dream? Life will always meet you halfway. But it will never meet you more than halfway. You have to take intentional steps.
Let’s at how the Law of Attraction works in manifesting love. The important thing to remember: We attract who we are, not what we want. Often times, taking an effective action requires us to go within and address the inner limitations that sabotage our happiness. That’s the easiest—and the hardest—thing to do, but it can be done! Here are my four pillars for successful love attraction:
- Focus on Yourself Not Others
During my single days, when I was going on many dates in the futile search of connecting with my soul mate, the whole process felt like a drag, a complete waste of time. The men I liked weren’t interested in building a serious relationship with me. And the men who were “into me” didn’t tickle my fancy. I would also fall in love occasionally, but only to be heartbroken or betrayed shortly after.
The bottom line: I was lonely and frustrated. I wanted love, but I couldn’t find it. I started to believe there were no good men out there. And worse yet, that I wasn’t good enough to deserve love.
I couldn’t bear seeing happy couples holding hands and looking at each other with love and passion. My mind, attention and energy were focused on the outside. I was actively searching for my ideal partner “out there,” but he wasn’t there. I failed to realize that I was the cause of all my effects. I was consciously and unconsciously creating all the outcomes in my life. The quality of men I was attracting wasn’t reflecting the quality of men out there; it reflected me—my thinking, my choices, my boundaries, my awareness.
It is much easier to say, “Well, that’s just the way it is, and it is not my fault” than to take responsibility and say, “I am responsible for all my results, and I can change them.” The problem is, we can’t always see direct cause and effect relations in all our outcomes. For example, many women fail to see the link between the lack of self-love and dating unfaithful men.
It is only when I started to work on my self-image (the way I saw myself as someone to be loved and cherished, as someone who deserves love and happiness, as someone who is whole enough and complete just the way I was) that I began to see the outside change. I wasn’t attracted to flashy things any more because I became aware of my inner light. I started coming from the place of power, not need and desperation.
When we start working on ourselves, the whole world around us changes. We can’t change the outside conditions and circumstances—but we can change ourselves, and then the outside world will change automatically. That’s the beauty of natural attraction; however, it always begins and ends with us.
- Bring Clarity
Have you asked yourself, what it is you want? Really? When I ask you to close your eyes, do you see what your ideal relationship looks like? What do you see?
It is very difficult to hit a target we don’t see. “I just want a good guy” is a common answer from most women—and I used to be one of them. Every man (or woman) could be evaluated from a “good guy perspective.” We all have good and bad qualities, don’t we? What does a good guy (or girl) mean to you? What does he value? What are his internal qualities? What are his hobbies? Does he want family, kids?
We must be very clear and precise in what we want from a relationship because that’s what we will get. If we are not intentional in filling the gaps on our vision, the universe will fill them for us based on our subconscious programming, which often times is negative.
I remember the day when wrote down the vision of my dream man. I was very excited about fulfilling my role of the creator of my life. I wrote down everything I wanted in my soul mate. I wasn’t focusing as much on the outside attributes as internal qualities. And my primary focus was on the feelings. I could see, feel, touch and even embrace my vision. I went to such a degree that when I would close my eyes, I would see a movie of a perfect love—my perfect love—and it felt so good…
When I finished my visualization exercise, I just released it. I was not attached to the outcome. I wasn’t anxiously waiting for it to come to fruition. I wasn’t thinking, “It has been three months, and I still haven’t met my guy” I carried on with my life. To be honest, I sort of forgot about it…
Imagine my surprise and amazement when a little more than a year later I met him. I couldn’t believe how precise my description was. Could this be real? Christian, that’s his name, is now my husband. He is everything and even more than I dreamed of in a man. Each day, I wake up full of gratitude for him and a beautiful life we get to share.
Can you do that? Of course, you can! Your imagination is so powerful. That’s your strongest intellectual faculty. That’s the key to activate the Law of Attraction.
It takes an intentional approach to be able to see clearly what it is we want to bring to our life. Imagine to the smallest detail what everything will look like, to the point that we can see a movie of our dream life. Write down a list and step into it. Embrace it! Listen to it! Smell it! Touch it! Feel it! It has to be as real as possible. Our mind doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination. When we are able to see clearly that picture of our heartfelt desire, we are halfway there. The Law of Attraction will take care of the rest.
If you have tried it and it didn’t work before, it doesn’t mean this approach will not work for you. It simply means there was some kind of inner conflict between you and your desire. If there is any kind of resistance or objections from your “common sense” while you work on your imagination, go back to pillar 1 and work on your inner belief system.
- Increase your Energy
Did you know the foundation of the Law of Attraction is the Law of Vibration? We all know and love those people with amazing energy. It is just a pleasure to be around them. They make us feel good. Their high-frequency vibrations are just inspiring.
Everything around us and inside us is energy that vibrates at different frequencies. Simply put, if you want a better life increase your frequency. If you want to attract a man of your dreams, increase your energy so that you become a natural magnet for high-quality men.
There are certain women who, as soon as they walk into a room, radiate the energy of a winner. We all have that magnetic power inside, and it is reflected in our energy—the energy of worthiness, confidence and being anchored in our power.
I remember precisely the moment I connected with my husband, a handsome English gentleman with a perfect accent, incredible sexual energy and a beautiful smile. That moment, I felt an energy uplift in my heart…It was one of those “meant to be” moments. I had just finished speaking in front of 2,000 people from more than 50 countries around the world. I was at my very best on that stage, connecting with a huge audience, making them laugh and creating lots of “aha” moments. The energy in the room was electrifying—and I was in the center of it. My own energy was incredible: I was present in the moment, confident and vulnerable at the same time, but anchored in my power.
When I got off the stage, many of people wanted to ask me questions and take pictures. I had a celebrity moment. And there he was, my Prince Charming, standing at the back of the audience (he was one of the speakers at that conference as well) waiting to enamor me.
He simply said with his charming smile, “Do you have a boyfriend, Anna? If you don’t, I am the first one in the queue.” Direct. Assertive. Being in a total control of the situation. Impossible to resist. And the rest, as they say, is history.
Our vibrational frequencies matched. We connected almost by the divine order. We were not looking for each other. First, we lived in different countries. Second, we were not in “need” of a relationship. The energy of need is not constructive; it implies lack.
We were both radiating the energy of happiness, fulfillment and self-sufficiency. And that’s the perfect spot for two people to connect and complement each other. That’s how the Law of Attraction in love works. Everything flows naturally when we have high vibrational frequencies. When we find that happiness on our own it becomes so much easier to connect with someone special.
If we focus on ourselves (developing self-image and an inner belief system that controls everything in our life), if we have clarity in what we want, and if we work on our energy, be sure, we will attract your dream unexpected in the common hours.
- Focus on the Outcome but Enjoy the Now
After I wrote the vision of my soul mate, I carried on with my life, my projects and my goals. However, I was meeting men and going on dates. You have to take steps to show your willingness to have what you want. There was not much luck, but my attitude changed. I wasn’t looking at my next date as “the one.” I could tell almost immediately when there was no connection with a person. But I wasn’t getting frustrated. I was enjoying my dates. I learned how to stay present in the moment.
I started valuing and appreciating the men I was meeting. I wasn’t going to build relationships with them (if they were not matching my vision), but I was genuinely interested in learning about them—if they were willing to share. As a result, I became a great listener. I looked people in the eyes, asked them genuine and curious questions. I shared my own stories if it they are appropriate. I flirted. I was funny, sweet, compassionate, confident or vulnerable, depending on the situation. But I was always myself: genuine and authentic. I wasn’t pretending to be someone else. I wasn’t trying to make an impression. That helped me to become that woman who attracts men’s attention, and my confidence grew.
Amazing things happen when we stay focused on the now. Our horizons expand, we learn more about ourselves. And our point of attraction gets stronger. There is a big lesson in being present now. That’s all we’ve got. Here and now. Use it wisely.
Anna Simpson—Ukrainian by birth, American at heart—now enjoys a beautiful English countryside lifestyle as well as travelling all over the world for work and pleasure with her beloved husband. She is passionate about helping women find love and create their dream relationships by helping them improve their self-image. An avid reader and a writer who tries to find the inspiration in the most mundane thing, Anna is a chocolate lover and a believer that we all deserve to live the life of our dreams. She is convinced we all deserve to be happy and loved—we just need to learn how to make it happen. Visit Anna online at http://www.anna-simpson.com.