You are the Michelangelo of your own life.
The David that you are sculpting is you.
And you do it with your thoughts.
– Joe Vitale
In previous issues of Transformation Coaching, I’ve given you the What, Why, Where, Who, and How for our happiness paradigm, (Stimulus>BS>Response) it’s time for the details. Let’s recap:
What is happiness?
Emotional acceptance of “What is.”
What is “What is?”
Reality. The unfiltered situation or event.
Why is it important?
It’s the starting point for upgrade.
Why are you not happy?
You view “What is” through Bummer BS.
What is BS?
Belief System. It’s also Bullsh*t.
Where is Bummer BS?
In your unconscious. It’s called limits.
Where is Better BS?
In your unconscious. It’s called acceptance.
Who gave you Bummer BS?
Everyone around you.
Who can give you Better BS?
How can you be happy?
Replace Bummer BS with Better BS.
How do you get Better BS?
Make “What is” OK.
How do I do that?
First step: Describe “What is.”
I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.—Michelangelo
Like the sculptor, you chip away the BS one step at a time. Every little upgrade gets you that much closer, and you feel better with each step.
It starts with your story of “What is.” It’s the incident that triggers any unpleasant emotions. The job here is to view it without the “J”s (Justassoonas, Justification and Judgment) to get as close as you can to reality, Here’s an example:
I was driving down the street, when a car pulled in front of me and plodded along about five miles below the speed limit.
I was angry, frustrated, and resentful, so first chance I got, I gunned the engine and roared past her. I burned a lot of gas, and maybe a little rubber, too. We arrived at the same stoplight together anyhow, and I gave her an appropriate dirty look.
In the time spent justifying and blaming, I was unaware that I was justifying and blaming. Had I come to the realization sooner, I would have saved some gas. Perhaps, instead of a dirty look, I might have just winked at her. She was kinda cute.
Most disturbing incidents hit our Bummer BS on two levels—loss of power and insecurity. Powerless BS produced the frustration. I justified it because I wanted to go faster. She was in my way, and I had a right to get angry.
The resentment came from the insecurity BS that took it personally. How dare she pull in front of ME. She was wrong and somehow a threat to my self-concept. The dirty look summarized my judgment of the situation.
The purpose of describing “What is” is to bring the incident to mind as vividly as possible, as if you were watching a movie. All I need to visualize scene is:
I was driving along when a car pulled in front of me and drove slower than I wanted to go.
I felt anger frustration and resentment.
There it is. Nothing more is needed. The brackets  explain why.
I was driving down the street,
[extra detail not necessary]
when a car pulled in front of me and plodded along [judgment]
drove about five miles below the speed limit [extra detail not necessary]
slower than I wanted to go.
I was angry frustrated and resentful. so first chance I got, I gunned the engine and roared past her. I burned a lot of gas, and maybe a little rubber, too. We arrived the same stoplight together anyhow, and I gave her an appropriate dirty look.
[Unnecessary details. They interfere with focusing on the feelings. Also, the word “appropriate”—of course—is justification.]
The more you can distill the incident down to the essentials, the more effective your reprogramming will be. The essentials are Where? (The setting), Who? (was involved), What? (did they say or do), and How? (did you feel).
The example above was light, and the feelings were on the surface. My story in last month’s issue was more difficult, since old buddy EGO kept me from recognizing my feelings for a while. My scene for that would be:
Where: the doctor’s examination room.
Who: me and the doctor.
What: she said, “You have cancer.”
How I felt: worry, fear, terror, and panic.
Just about every incident can be filtered to these essentials.
There’s quite a bit more to the process, but it all starts with a scene. The next step is to identify the BS. Don’t miss next month’s issue for those important details.
If you aren’t a subscriber to Transformation Coaching, What are you waiting for? It’s free.
Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at http://www.newthoughtglobal.org.