By Ryan Miller
Not long ago I came across a powerful quote from a reporter named Jim Nauton that made me stop and reflect. It was in an article about life coaching that originally was published in the August 2002 issue of Psychotherapy Networking:
“The ever more challenging character of modern life has created a market for men and women that can provide, for a fee, as service that older generations once performed for younger generations. Since World War II, increased mobility and the decline of family and community ties have reduced intergenerational contact, with the result that a lot of the support structures in people’s lives have broken down.”
What caught my attention in particular—and sent me on a pleasant trip down memory lane— is the part of the quote that reads:
“…a service that older generations once performed for younger generations.”
As a life coach today, I have many experiences and human interactions that have helped to steer my career. I am a spiritual leader, a husband, a father, and an employee of a human services agency that is pioneering strategies to combat intergenerational poverty in our community and beyond. I have been an advocate for the aged and those with mental illness and, for a season of my life, covered the night shift at a local emergency room to help those in crisis situations (homicidal, suicidal or just hurt and confused by other people and life events). Through all of these roles—and the training, experience and people that came along with them—I have learned a lot. I am also an avid reader with a college degree, and the academic world has provided another foundation for learning.
However, some of my most valuable lessons have come from being raised in a rural community by a single mother. I did not grow up with a father, but I was blessed to have a number of men in my local faith community, from my extended family, and even from the wider community who shared life lessons and hard-earned wisdom with me. Some of the greatest lessons were “taught” while fishing along streams with a great uncle. Others came while taking leisurely rides down twisty back roads looking for wildlife with another uncle and sitting in a garage on upside down five-gallon buckets trying to put a bike back together.
One of my most memorable teachings came along the historic Lincoln Highway in Pennsylvania as cars sped by. Between my home and my grandmother’s home was a bright green house. In that house lived an elderly man I only had the pleasure of meeting once. But what a memorable meeting! I stopped by his place often in the summer, though, looking for bright red treasures. They were the fresh garden-grown tomatoes set out on a table alongside used shopping bags and an old butter bowl for payment. You would drive up, bag your own tomatoes and leave a few bucks in the bowl.
One day, while completing my transaction, Nasby appeared from his green house. As we stood by the road for about 20 minutes, I learned about life from Nasby’s perspective. I heard about the importance of being a person of your word, not spending more than you made, and many, many other pieces of valuable life wisdom. He didn’t know me, but he had lived for many years, and he had advice to share that he felt could help me throughout life. He was right.
Jim Naughton was also right in his quote. There is a need for life coaches today. The process of life coaching includes, among many other things, championing, affirming and stretching clients. Each of the many people who spoke wisdom and value into my life over the years was doing one, or more, of these three things. They were cheering me on (championing), affirming me by giving me time, and often stretching me with their insights. But these are just three of the many things that a life coach can do to help clients succeed. Other parts of the process include helping people discover their identity, their deepest values and their purpose.
Indeed, a coach can help you discover life goals and create strategies to reach those goals—one step at a time. They hold you accountable as you move forward and cheer you on as you hit milestones. There is little looking back, or moving backward, in life coaching.
A coach is like a life architect who focuses on the present and builds a solid plan for the future.
It is not about archaeology, or digging through the past. Life coaching is about moving forward into your future—and destiny.
Ryan Miller offers coaching based on practical life experience, two decades of spiritual leadership, and nearly 20 years in human services development. He uses personal wisdom about life, people and how to overcome obstacles to help others develop a vision and achieve their destiny. His first book, Stepping Stones: A Pathway Into His Presence, was released fall 2016. For the past several years, Coach Ryan also has been partnering with a non-profit in pioneering 2G strategies to break intergenerational poverty in the United States through family-centered coaching practices. Coach Ryan has a Master Life Coach Certification through Transformation Services Inc. and is a John Maxwell Certified Coach, Trainer and Speaker. He is the founder of Ascend Life Coaching at www.AscendLifeCoacing.net.
This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com,