By Berenice Andrews
Years afterward, when my journey had brought me to a higher level of knowing, I realized that what had happened to me had been no accident; that there are no accidents; that my shamanic path of spirituality was the evolutionary intent of a Life Plan. It was a Plan devised by me, with the help of my Celestial Guides, before my incarnation on this Earth plane. It was an intent triggered by prearranged and painful events (including a cosmic clobbering), all of which had happened right on schedule. Above all, I realized that from its onset, this lifetime had been an adventure guided, lovingly yet firmly, by the Spirit. Here’s the abridged version…
It was two years before the clobbering. Already middle-aged, I was unknowingly nearing the end of the First Stage of my Life Plan, underway since my conception. One summer afternoon, I tripped over a doorsill, fell on my arm and shattered it. Although the bones eventually mended, I developed a “frozen shoulder.” I was seeking relief, after months of misery, when I “came upon” a massage therapist. She worked wonders with my shoulder, while all the time singing the praises of a shamanic teacher/healer she had met. Although I listened politely, I was not even remotely interested. (Indeed, it all sounded rather “weird”!) And when my shoulder was finally better, I moved on…or so it appeared.
Then came the cosmic clobbering.
It was a hellish combination of physical exhaustion—the result of long-standing workaholism and sleep deprivation—of emotional collapse—the aftermath of the long-overdue ending of a dysfunctional relationship—and, of mental torment—maddening thoughts that ceaselessly attacked me. For several days I frantically fought back. Finally reduced to tatters, I stood in my little kitchen and cried out to the Spirit for help. And even in the midst of my agony, I felt surprise. Although the Spirit had been an important (and secret) part of my sad childhood, It was the first time in decades that I had thought (or sought) to make any connection with that Power. After all, I had left my childhood behind…or so it appeared.
The response was instantaneous: I was to contact that massage therapist and ask her to connect me with that shamanic teacher/healer. I doubted that after two years the therapist would still be there or that she would remember me. But I was desperate enough to phone, anyway. She was still there and she did remember me. In half an hour, she called back telling me that Patricia would see me in two days, promptly at 9:30 am. It took two hours to make the trip in the dead of winter. I arrived on time and my Life Plan entered into its Second Stage.
What a disconcerting experience it was! I met a Wise Woman years younger than I, who was tuned into the cosmic energies of this world and the Otherworld. She had received her first training from her grandmother, a Nova Scotia Micmac Indian medicine woman and afterward had studied with many modern shamanic teacher/healers, including Rosalyn Bruyere. With Patricia to guide and (sometimes) push me along, I found myself immersed in teachings I had never heard of before. My well-established beliefs and perceptions were challenged and often turned upside down. I struggled to cope not only with new and strange ideas, but also with the related practices that constantly stretched my capacity to comprehend.
It was quite unnerving! But I held on, because I was beginning to “see” that I had become involved in a rather inexplicable adventure with the Spirit. (By then, I had happily reconnected with that childhood relationship.) In the meantime, Patricia attended to my damaged human energy system and “bodies” of consciousness by giving me desperately-needed energy treatments. And I began to heal from what I later knew were many lifetimes of rage and grief.
I was with my Wise Woman for three years. During that period, I met some amazing people, all walking their spiritual paths. And I found my “place” among them. Within a year, I had started on my path of modern shamanic spirituality…modern, yet traditional. [To clarify: although it contains the shamanic “core practices” of spirit journeying, casting the circle, soul retrieval, shape-shifting and rituals of purification, modern shamanic spirituality uses these traditional means along with scientific concepts, e.g., quantum physics and psychology, to develop an inner knowing (gnosis) that enhances and then becomes one’s own being.]
By this time, I knew—but only vaguely—that the remainder of this lifetime would be dedicated to imparting not only the shamanic teachings but also their interconnected healing modality—the power of the androgynous human energy system—to those who were ready to receive them. Thereby, these people could heal their woundedness and become what they truly were; multidimensional, androgynous energy beings—souls—joyfully aware of the Spirit expressing in, as, and through them. In short, part of my Life Plan had become visible to me.
After graduating from Patricia’s “training school,” I took my first solo steps and started to collect my students and clients. They seemed to come without any effort on my part. I never advertised, but the word spread. My life was filled with giving energy treatments, workshops, and retreats. I happily looked forward to years of “doing” the shamanic “work.”
But, there was much more in store for me. Just when I was getting satisfied and settled, I had the next life-altering experience in my adventure with the Spirit.
I was given a trip to the moors in Northern England. There I encountered Long Meg, a monolithic stone “head” and the mighty matriarch of an ancient stone circle. When I walked into that sacred enclosure and felt its embracing energies, I knew that I was finally at home. And in that peace and comfort, I could sink into the next level of surrendering. It heralded a deeper connection with the Spirit…and the Third Stage of my Life Plan.
Immediately after returning from that trip, I “had the notion” to study metaphysics, wisdom teachings, biblical scholarship, psychology, philosophy, mythology, folk tales, and quantum physics. In the next three years, my little library grew beyond anything I had ever thought possible and so did my knowledge. All the while, my teaching and healing “work” with the students and clients continued.
Then, one sunny August morning in 2007, I awoke knowing that it was now time to start writing my book. Although by then I had become pretty aware that I was involved in an adventure with the Spirit, that message came as a complete surprise. Nevertheless, I set to work that very day. Rebirthing Into Androgyny: Your Quest For Wholeness, And Afterward took five years to manifest. At the beginning, I had made an outline of what would be written…or so it appeared. But the book quickly took on a life of its own. After briefly resisting, I let the Spirit become the main author. Then, the writing evolved into a textbook presenting a series of teaching/healing lessons to soul searchers—people who yearn to know who they are and why they are here…who would be taught in the shamanic sacred space of a “virtual” stone circle classroom.
When I was well into the third year of my labors, I finally realized that every “Introduction,” “Interlude” and “Lesson” in that evolving textbook was a reflection of what was changing and growing in me. By going through the shamanic cyclical paths of “Opening the Way,” “Coming Into Being,” “Entering Within,” and “Finding Wisdom” and by “letting go/letting be,” “balancing,” “containing,” and “revealing and concealing”—and not simply teaching them—I was actually transforming into the teacher/healer of my deepest yearnings. I found myself doing the purifying, simplifying, and unifying tasks that could result in impeccability, while I increasingly experienced bring immersed in a Soul Field—a “quantum sea”—of boundless life, light, love, and law. In short, I was discovering all that I was as an energy being…a soul. I felt like a butterfly that had struggled out of its cocoon. And I was into the Fourth Stage of my Life Plan.
The textbook for soul searchers was published in November and “launched” at the winter solstice, 2012. Since then, my adventure with the Spirit has come through so many cycles that it would take thousands more words to tell all of it. The months have flown by; the experiences with students and clients have enriched every moment. Increasingly, each step has been filled with knowing that my Life Plan was devised for a soul’s journey—a journey of consciousness-raising, that in my case could be called a “shamanic path.” (But I have learned that it’s better not to put too precise a label on it!) Getting “old” has been part of that process. Finding wisdom has been a big part that’s still unfolding.
It has been an interesting life and Plan. Everything that “happened” resulted in what I became. My adventure with the Spirit has been quite a trip; one that’s still going on!
If you are pondering about starting a journey of spirituality or remaining on your present path, I can assure you that when you’re adventuring with the Spirit life is never dull, and despite the sometimes rough “happenings,” you’re constantly sustained by a current of joy. Probably, it’s in your Life Plan, anyway. So, go for it!
Berenice Andrews is a shamanic teacher/healer and a regular contributor to Transformation Magazine. To learn more about her teachings, including a rebirthing soul’s Life Plan, consult Rebirthing Into Androgyny: Your Quest For Wholeness, And Afterward. To become her student, see her web site, thestonecircleclassroom.com.