The Science of True Love

By Joeel A. Rivera

Mi Cielo (My Heaven),

I have heard many times the phrases “there are no words to truly explain how I feel” or that a person is someone’s “other half”. However, I always perceived them through society’s perspective and not my own point of view. They sounded cliché and I felt like saying them would be void of any true meaning because they’d been said so many times before. So, I pondered in what way I could truly express how I feel and I decided to create a nickname or a phrase that I could use to express and affirm my love for you and what our connection means to my life. I came up with terms such as: love, adore, magical, blessed, home, happiness, joy, peace, oneness, nurturing, forgiving, abundance, beauty, growth, hope and many more. But, in many ways those words are still limited because they describe only certain aspects and not the wholeness or essence of your love.

You see, you are the same energy that I breathe to bring life to my soul. You are the child in me that makes me laugh for no reason and helps me enjoy the simple things in life. You are like the coastlines that for the majority of my life I have snorkeled—spending hours in awe of the beauty of life and the wonder of the uniqueness of each experience in nature. In my development, these moments in the water are when I experienced “oneness”, and it is the same oneness that I find by simply holding your hand. Just like in the water, no matter what is going on in our lives, silence drowns out every noise around us when I’m in your presence.

I have written down some things that I truly appreciate about us.

  • What makes us complete is that you don’t need me nor I you in order to fill each other’s cups because we each take responsibility for filling our own cups. Therefore, together, our cups overflow.
  • We recognize that we each have our own baggage, and we take responsibility for dealing with it ourselves instead of making each other responsible for it.
  • It’s not about who is right or wrong, who leads or who does not, because we understand that “winning” only comes from crossing the finish line together.
  • We accept each other for who we are and trust in challenging each other to continuously become better people. We listen to each other’s feedback and process it in our lives, which helps us see how we can release limiting beliefs and behaviors that do not serve our mutual growth. At the same time, we give each other the space to grow without judgment.
  • We embrace gratitude and do not take each other for granted because we know that even the minor things that we do for each other is out of genuine desire and support, not out of obligation. This means that it is not about “who does what” and we don’t need clearly defined roles because we both take the responsibility to do what needs to be done.
  • We both understand that our relationship is the foundation that supports everything else and that by taking the time for each other we essentially help all other aspects of our life to flow, grow, and thrive.
  • We understand that change is part of the process of life, and so we embrace it, together. We check in with each other regularly to evaluate our vision and our goals, and we are open to changing direction as we change and grow.
  • We take time to learn about and understand each other, whether exploring our love languages, our triggers, our conditioning, or our belief systems. Then we utilize what we’ve learned to know just how to support and love each other the way that would truly make the other know how special they are.
  • Finally, we know we are both committed and do not question the love that we feel for each other. Therefore, our actions and words reflect that commitment.

Natalie, I don’t tell you I love you simply because it fits, I tell you I love you because you are my heaven (mi cielo) and I am eternally grateful that no matter the time that I have left in this life that I have had the opportunity  to experience this unconditional love with my Bashert (soul mate). I feel like the luckiest person on earth. Thank you for being you!

Love and adore you,
Joeel A Rivera


I share this letter because I believe that Natalie and I have a conscious relationship, and I wish to share what principals we follow—the science of true love—that allow us to experience true love in our lives.

  • Want, not need
  • Responsibility for one’s self
  • Equality and team mentality
  • Acceptance and non-judgment
  • Appreciation and shared responsibility
  • Prioritizing the relationship
  • Embracing change
  • Learning how to love one another
  • Commitment

Your relationship does not have to look like ours in order to be fulfilling and filled with love—we all have different expectations, beliefs, visions, goals, and desires. What matters is finding the person that shares your dreams and expectations and is willing to expand with you as you support and nurture each other to continually grow into your highest self. Remember that in nature, and relationships, whatever is not growing is dying.

I wish you many blessings, and true love.

Joeel A Rivera, M.Ed. is a counselor and life coach specializing in relationships and entrepreneurship. Joeel is a Motivational Speaker, presenting topics such as Enlightened Relationships, Personal Transformation, and Entrepreneurship. Joeel received a Master’s Degree in Education and Counseling and is currently finishing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology, with a focus on human happiness and what drives us to achieve our fullest potential. Connect with Joeel at

This entry was posted in Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.