By Carol Hasbrouck
When we began our 10,000-mile Service Adventure across America, Joyce and I (in our 50s and 60s) knew that what we were undertaking was a most unusual journey. It contained lots of unknowns. I don’t think we realized how courageous we were until many people told us so. Women said, “I could never do what you are doing. That takes so much courage.” Indeed it did. We realized that about half way into the journey when we became weary of packing up our bags every four days, sleeping in different beds, sofas and pull out couches while staying with people we didn’t know. Of the 26 host families we stayed with, about half were perfect strangers before we left home.
Our goal was to spend three and a half months serving places that Help People, Pets and Planets. It came about after losing my job. I realized that my mortgage-banking career of 23 years no longer fulfilled me. I asked myself, “Why are you looking for a job you no longer like? That’s just stupid.”
Then I asked myself,
“What do you like to do? If you could do anything in the world, what would that look like?”
Two things instantly popped into my head: 1. Help others and 2. Travel. The problem was I had never seen a job description that read: “Help Wanted: Must love to help others and travel.”
Knowing my limited thought system and senses couldn’t provide the answer, I gave it up to the Heavens. “Ok, Universe, please show me the way of traveling and helping others that will be enjoyable and impactful.” Three short days later, I read about a father and his two adopted sons, traveling the world serving 12 projects in 12 countries in 12 months. (www.twelveintwelve.org).
“That’s it!” I thought, “Only I want to stay in the United States and escape the Florida summer heat.”
A plan was put in place and the magic began. How it was all going to work out was still a mystery, but we knew we had the guts to try it. Looking back, I see that it did take real courage to leave home with one-eighth of the money we needed and head into unknown territory to serve.
Before we left home, the number one question we got was: “Where are you getting your money?” It became a joke between Joyce and me as it was said so often. Our response became, “It is all taken care of and we are donation-based so if you’d like to donate we would most happily receive your money.”
While in Marquette, MI, we befriended Andrew Bek, a Dog Whisperer and Life Coach. Andrew was a perfect stranger I reached out to him via the Internet because he is the Executive Director of the Moosewood Nature Center, and I thought that would be a great place to volunteer.
When he responded, via email, that he could use our services at the Nature Center, I courageously emailed him back and asked if he knew of a host family we could stay with in Marquette. I didn’t hear back from him for a couple of weeks, and I thought I’d scared him off. Much to my surprise, he emailed that he found us our host family, Fred and Judi.
The greatest lesson Andrew taught us was how important it is to ask for what we need.
It began when I mentioned that we were running low on funds and needed to raise money to complete our journey. This was perfect fodder for his Life Coaching profession and without hesitation, he asked, “Have you asked those who have not given to give?” My response was “Yes” because I thought asking in a roundabout way, such as in blog posts or on Facebook, counted as asking.
He replied, “No, what I mean is, have you called people you know that have not given you a donation and asked them to give money to your cause?”
“Uh, no, I haven’t exactly done that,” I responded.
“Why not?” he queried.
“Well, I guess because I don’t want to offend them or put them on the spot,” I answered.
“I see,” he said. “So, you’d rather go home early with your tail between your legs [dog whisperer in him coming out] than pick up the phone and ask if they can help you continue this incredible work you are doing.”
Now he had my attention. He made me realize that I am not asking for money for me, I am asking for money for the cause I am on, of Helping People, Pets and Planets, and that I needed to treat this business just like any other business, if I wanted to be successful.
It’s okay to ask for help. In fact, it’s a requirement of life if we want to get the most out of it.
The key is not being attached to the answers or the outcome of the asking. It is our perception that counts. If someone gives me an answer I don’t want to hear, I must be aware that I don’t see the whole picture in his or her life, or even in mine.
When we look back on the unknowns of this journey, it makes us realize how important it was (and is) to just jump off that cliff and get out of our comfort zones.
If we hadn’t done that we would both still be working in jobs we didn’t like and living a routine that basically is a rut. How inspiring is that?
I know it’s scary to get out of your comfort zone, but it’s also the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Life is short no matter how long we live, and is it really worth feeling “safe” just to live an ordinary life?
Carol Hasbrouck is founding director of Dames Gone Wild, a grass roots organization having a significant impact on volunteerism. Through connection and courage, she and friend, Joyce Claflin, traveled the United States doing volunteer work during the summer of 2012. They served 33 organizations and worked with the homeless, cancer centers, humane societies, special needs kids, the Heidelberg Project, Puppets in Education, food pantries and individuals with brain injuries and impairments. They are committed to serving the nonprofit world by increasing awareness and participation in volunteerism. They also give out Free Hugs as they promote Hug It Forward Today. For more information, visit www.damesgonewild.com.