By Rev. Marla Sanderson
I must have I come into this life with some worthiness issues because I always have been a little emotionally insecure. Not unstable—just unsure of myself. Childhood incidents combined to reinforce the idea that I wasn’t good enough and didn’t fit in. I felt like I didn’t have much of value to contribute or anything worth saying. I had no self-confidence, was overly sensitive, and easily hurt.
One time the neighborhood kids were playing outside, and my brother asked why I didn’t join them. Though they were my friends, I replied that they hadn’t asked me. He tried to convince me to approach them, but I was uncomfortable and couldn’t explain my hesitation.
I always waited to be invited. It had become my strategy for avoiding rejection.
Years passed, and though I got more confident as I grew up, I still avoided anything that brought attention to me. I would never speak up in a group or offer an opposing opinion. All that has changed, but it didn’t happen overnight.
In my early 30s, I met Gregg (Sanderson) at a meeting. He told me later that he thought I was cute but a little mousy. Regardless, the relationship was an instant hit and he introduced me to the Living Love System (from the Handbook to Higher Consciousness).
It has changed my life many times.
It was so effective in our own lives, we taught workshops to help others find more happiness and love. Of course, nobody benefited more than we did.
I discovered a web of belief that kept me bound to a life without luster.
As I learned to change my old “fear” programming to “love” programming, I found I didn’t need to live up to anyone else’s expectations.
It became my purpose in life to be me and to Be Love. Not only was it OK to express myself, it was essential, and I was getting better at it.
I also discovered other deep and powerful unconscious beliefs that had caused pain and problems my whole life. There was a need to control, to be included, to be important, and plenty of others, but none worse than the need to be RIGHT.
Each of these main emotional structures had an elaborate network of lesser needs that caused emotional reactions ranging from annoyance and irritation to fear, terror, and despair.
Each time I “reprogrammed” one of them, I experienced a huge transformation. Things that bothered me in the past had no effect on me. When that happens, there’s nothing to feel insecure about, is there?
I learned to feel OK about myself no matter what others thought and no matter what mistakes I made. I saw humor in situations that had previously upset me and I felt more compassion for other people as well as for myself.
I eventually got away from teaching the methods I’d learned, but there is nothing I’d rather do than witness the happy faces of people as they make the internal changes that have done so much for me.
So we have scheduled a whole series of workshops over the coming year to share this wonderful experience. For a preview, go to our website www.newthoughtctr.org/lifework.zip to download a pdf copy of a simple, easy-to-read cartoon book, “How To Make Your Life Work,” from our site. It is a gift to you and it is absolutely free.
Marla Sanderson has been a student of spiritual practice for more than 35 years. She began as Assistant Director of The Next Step, a psychic and spiritual community in a New Mexico ghost town. As workshop leader, teacher, practitioner, and minister, she has led relationship and personal growth workshops, taught psychic development and meditation, Living Love, and the Science of Mind. Marla is available for workshops and speaking engagements. She recently founded the New Thought Center for Creative Living. www.newthoughtctr.org