By Dr. Howard Peiper, N.D.
The dictionary describes being authentic as being genuine and original. It could also mean being true and trustworthy. Who wouldn’t want to be authentic (real)? For most of us, there has been a time when we were young and we exhibited our true thoughts and feelings only to have someone cut them down. No wonder it’s scary to be authentic. It’s that age-old fear of not being accepted, liked, or criticized if we show the real us that has been lingering inside us just festering.
Most of us live our lives never finding our authentic self. We never find the person we were meant to be, nor do we develop ourselves to our greatest potential. Unfortunately, this is much easier said than done, for it takes time and effort to undo programmed habits and ways of living.
It is time for us to claim our authentic self and live life to our fullest potential. To be authentic means to find the key to happiness, joy, and success within one’s self, not within the society in which we live. Society usually means the external system of authority that consciously and unconsciously dictates the direction and behavior of our lives. Do we ever wonder why it is so important to live a certain way, with a certain car, house, school degree, etc.? It is because society dictates it to be so. To live and be our authentic self, we need to free ourselves from that cultural prison. We need to think for ourselves and create our own thoughts, needs and desires. Then, and only then, are we being authentic.
When we live an authentic life, we are living the life that resonates with our inner being.
We will not bind ourselves with destructive habits, relationships or lifestyles. We will gain inner strength and let go of manipulation, power plays, cruelty, and hatred. We will find that our lives are being elevated to a higher spiritual level. We will be thinking of humankind, rather than self. We won’t be afraid of the truth, and we will deal with fear in a healthier way.
Steps to Integrating the Fear of Being Authentic (Real)
1. Determine where our fears of being authentic really lie. They lie at the heart of any belief where we feel we must be perfect in order to be accepted. These fears are the kind that cause us to feel the need to hide behind a mask. They make us feel inadequate, not good enough, and “less than”.
2. Once we understand what these fears are, express them verbally. Doing so is the first step to dissolving their power over us because now they are no longer hidden.
3. When we verbalize one of these fears, we need to ask our inner child these questions:
a. Did we survive that sharing?
b. Are we still alive?
c. Are we still intact and okay?
Each of these questions is designed to help our inner child see that being real by expressing its fears will not cause it to be rejected and die. The inner child believes that rejection is synonymous with death and therefore, will create a false image or mask to hide any parts of us that it feels will not be accepted.
As the inner child answers each of the above questions, we will notice a sense of relief and calm over us. These feelings are confirmation that our inner child believes that it is now safe and as a result has been able to establish a new sense of trust and peace.
Being authentic is not something that happens all at once; instead it is a process of discovering each fear and assisting the inner child to integrate that fear by expressing it verbally. And once expressed, taking it through the steps that enable it to see that it is still safe, and in fact, safer than before. Speaking with a therapist, counselor, clergy person, and/or going to various 12 Step meetings (i.e. Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families) also helps us find our authentic self.
Dr. Howard Peiper, N.D., nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, has written several bestselling books on nutrition and natural health. His website is: www.walkthetalkproductions.com.