By Emil Nazaryan
Simple and effective strategies for dismantling psychological fear in your life.
Have you ever stopped for a moment to take a bird’s-eye view of how much fear is in your life? I bet you might be astonished when you do. From the smallest things to the biggest, fear affects our daily lives in multiple ways.
What if the traffic is heavy and I’m late? What if my boss is not happy with my work? What if I get fired? What if there is a shooting in my neighborhood or at my child’s school? What if I can’t make my rent payment this month? What if we get a strong hurricane this season? What if I run out of money? What if war spreads? What if I die? What if… What if…
All these simple examples illustrate the amount of psychological fear running in our lives. None of us are entirely immune to it, but fear levels vary by person according to their understanding of how fear evolves. Are you up for the task of taking a deep dive into the origins and nature of fear? What is it? How does it arise? How can we handle it better?
The first and most important thing to remember is that psychological fear is an illusion that exists only in your head. In itself, it has no existence. Think about it. Where do you experience it? Is it ever outside of your mind? Isn’t it always a thought that triggers a negative reaction? But how can something that is nothing affect you or hurt you when you know it’s not real?
Here is an example. Imagine you are walking by the zoo. All of a sudden you see people start screaming and running in every direction. You know something is wrong. Then you see a humongous Siberian tiger that escaped—running straight at you with its razor sharp fangs exposed. It’s so close to you now that you feel the tiger’s heavy breathing and see its fiery eyes. You know it’s about to jump at you. What do you feel? Afraid? Now, stop and realize that you imagined this whole scene based on my example. It was never real! How do you feel now? Relieved? Maybe even a little laughter comes out of the thought that you just got scared from a scenario you entirely made up in your head. Thought provoking, isn’t it?
Here is a revelation that may be life-changing for you. All the examples in the beginning of this article are no different from the imaginary tiger charging at you. The same exact process creates it, only this time without you being conscious of it. See it as an imagination, and it disappears like the tiger that never existed! Does that mean that the topics of your fears will never emerge? Who knows? They may or may not. But the point is that there is no point in being afraid of something that is entirely imaginary and may or may not happen.
For the sake of safety and release of liability, I do want to make a disclaimer: If a real tiger is charging at you, disregard everything you just read and run!
Now let’s look at some strategies for handling fear. Through the above example, you already are familiarized with the most effective strategy of annihilating fear, which is to simply become aware of it.
Another method is to counter it with its opposite, positive thought. For example, if you just got on an airplane, and you are scared that it may fall from the sky in flight, replace that thought with seeing yourself sipping down a margarita at the airport bar after you land. Or, if you are afraid that you may die soon, why don’t you imagine that you live for 100 years? Do you see the idea? No one really knows what is going to happen next, but it’s far better to live with positive expectations than with fear.
And last, but not least, there exists yet another super-effective strategy. It is the surrender of fear. Think of fear as heavy luggage that you are carrying on your shoulders while you are on a train. Why not put it down? The train is going to carry it anyway. The same way, release your fears to the universe, to a higher power, to God or to whatever name you’d like to choose for that which runs this entire show. Let the all-powerful deal with your fears while you enjoy your life.
Yes, start enjoying your life! Start living your life! Think about how much those poisonous thoughts were taking you away from enjoying the current moment. With the fears gone, you will start appreciating your life for what it is. You will get satisfaction from the smallest things. You will feel peaceful. Will there be no pain? Of course not. Pain is a part of the package of life and is unavoidable. The big difference is that you won’t be afraid of pain, and when it comes you will handle it courageously, enduring the pain but not suffering mentally.
There is one more important disclosure to make. As you were reading this article, your level of fear presumably went down, at least temporarily. Because of that, you will notice a little candle that starts burning deep inside your heart. As gentle and fragile as it may be in the beginning, it turns into a flame in proportion to the reduction of the fear. As time goes on and the flame gets stronger, there is no extinguishing it any more. It’s going to be shining bright in the world, giving light and igniting candles in so many other hearts.
Go shine bright!
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com.