By Emil Nazaryan
It’s time to stop the spread of juicy stories and become a magnet for all the goodness in the world.
Did you hear what happened? Apparently, John has been cheating on his wife Betty and he got caught. The entire neighborhood is talking about it! But that’s not all. He was cheating with Betty’s best friend. Can you imagine that? Rumor has it, their affair started just a week after John and Betty’s wedding. That is just ludicrous!
OK, don’t get immersed into this story with juicy gossip. As fascinating as it may be to find out how John and Betty’s saga ended, let’s recap what just happened. You just read an example of gossip. Don’t you hear similar gossip every day? It may be more or less intriguing, closer or farther from home, at work or in the social scene of where you live. Gossip is all around us. Heck, there are entire TV channels and radio stations dedicated to this. Not to mention the countless blogs and websites that just thrive on a meaty story.
How about you? Do you ever get involved in these kinds of conversations? Come on, don’t be modest. If you are honest with yourself, then you probably do—at least occasionally.
Now comes a series of eye-opening questions. Have you ever considered why we gossip? How does it affect us? How does it affect others? What does it do to our integrity? In what ways does it make the world a better place?
The “why” seems to be obvious. It feels irresistible! It’s entertaining, interesting and fun. All true, but at what cost? What good can come out of gossiping? It certainly doesn’t help the people in question—and it most definitely doesn’t make you any better in any way. Do you want to know the real answer? Here it comes. It inflates our ego. It makes us feel superior in many ways. First off, we would never do what they did. Second, we know a secret that others may not know, and that makes us feel special. Third, it diverts our attention from our own insecurities, at least temporarily. You may rest assured that an inflated ego becomes a bigger target for pain, and it hurts so much more when you become the topic of the gossip.
Here is an alternative to consider. Become the end point of gossip. You can’t control those stories reaching you, but you can absolutely make sure they don’t spread further through you. Become like a black hole for gossip. Juicy stories can reach you, but they vanish upon entry.
“Easier said than done!” you may say. “Then I may not have any friends left. What is there left to talk about?” I assure you, there are plenty of more constructive, helpful and profitable topics to discuss. As a practical step, when someone shares the latest drama with you, instead of asking more questions and trying to squeeze out more juice, just reply “Oh, wow!” or “Oh, really?” and change the topic. As you stop reacting, you will find that others are less likely to want to gossip with you. All for the better! But there is something else you will notice.
You will notice a profound shift within your own soul. You will find yourself being more at peace. You will find that you sleep better at night. You will know that you didn’t risk doing unnecessary harm to someone else. Instead of looking at others with a judging eye, you will look at them with compassion. You will inspire others to do the same by your own example. Because of your purified soul you will become a magnet for all the goodness. You will feel free. You will become a light that counterbalances the darkness around you. Need I list any more benefits?
So, do you still want to know what happened to John and Betty or are you going to use that time to make the world a better place?
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com.