By Emil Nazaryan
This simple paradigm shift can be transformative—and it will lead you to a happier life.
Are you up for a quick experiment to learn more about yourself? Imagine you work at an office where most everyone has the same level job. You know that a new, big position is being created, and one of your coworkers or you will be selected for it. It’s going to be a coveted promotion that comes with a substantial raise, multiple benefits, and your own corner office. Exciting times! The decision day comes. The CEO walks in and announces the name of the person who got the position. But wait, it is not you!
Now, stop and observe yourself at this second. What feeling just surfaced? Anger? Jealousy? Disbelief? Or was it a hint of disappointment coupled with sincere happiness for your coworker because deep down you knew this person to be the most qualified one for the position?
That split-second reaction to the news will reveal the results of our little experiment. It will bring to light parts of your inner states you might not have been aware of. What’s the big deal? Why is this important? Go back to the moment of the announcement again. This time, intentionally react in a positive way and feel the happiness for your coworker. See yourself hugging and congratulating her. How does it feel? Can you not feel a flow of warm, positive energy right now?
There is a secret! If your inner state is that of envying others, being jealous of their success, considering them undeserving (even unconsciously), that inner state is blocking your own success and happiness. It’s like a dam holding back the flow of positive energy into your life. If you weren’t aware of this before, you know it now, and you can do something about it. This simple paradigm shift can be transformative—and it will lead you to a happier life.
Here goes the simple shift: Replace jealousy with admiration! Read the preceding sentence again. How simple! Admire the people that are doing better than you. Be happy for them. Wish them even further success. As a matter of fact, wish everyone you know to be successful! Wish them to be healthy, happy and prosperous. Use every opportunity to compliment someone. Do this sincerely, from the bottom of your heart. Live this way day in and day out. It is such a fulfilling, meaningful and happy way of life. This, in itself, is reason enough to make that paradigm shift.
Before getting to the other byproducts and consequences, let’s look at the practical formula. Here are three simple steps to start implementing the change today illustrated by the example of the scenario above.
- Watch and be aware of your reactions. You can do nothing about something you are not aware of. (Realize that you got upset by the coworker being selected for promotion.)
- Switch your reactions. The moment you observe yourself reacting negatively, switch it to positive. (Switch the disappointment to admiration and appreciation, congratulate her.)
- Flourish your reactions. Expand on that positive reaction by taking additional voluntary actions. (Get her a congratulatory card or flowers later to show how sincerely happy you are for her.) Do not underestimate the importance of the third step!
When this flow of energy starts pouring out of your heart, it does something positive to you. You are no longer a person concerned with limited ideas of personal gain. You are no longer confined to your own little world. You have grown exponentially as a person, your heart is always swollen with love. With this state you can no longer hide from success, as success will find you without you even looking for it. Let today be the beginning of your new life!
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com.