By Emil Nazaryan
The beginning of integrity in your life is the removal of the self and self-interests from your actions.
Have you heard the word integrity? You sure have! It’s everywhere. You see it used on billboards, ads, company mottos and even police cars. You often hear it in the news. And when you do, you recognize it as something positive. But have you ever dived into the true meaning of integrity? Have you investigated what constitutes integrity and what’s its source?
For a blanket understanding of this word, let’s turn to its opposite. Instead of using its antonym, how about we look at some examples? Here they are: cutting corners to get a higher return, lying and deceiving people, looking out for your own gain at the sake of hurting others, attacking people, polluting and littering the environment…You get the picture.
Now, let’s turn to you specifically. Do you possess integrity: honesty, virtue, goodness, decency, etc.? The answer is a whopping YES! Of course you do. It is an inborn human quality. The next set of questions get more tricky. Have you actually found it within yourself, and are you making deliberate use of this power? Have you made integrity into the motivating factor behind your actions? If you have, then you must be spiritually very advanced. Kudos to you! But if you haven’t, or you haven’t all the way, there is no need to worry. This article will point you in the right direction.
Since we already covered the meaning of integrity as it’s generally used and understood in our daily lives, let’s dive far deeper into its source. We determined that integrity is in your own nature, possibly as a slowly smoking coal waiting to be ignited. What is the spark that is going to ignite this life-changing flame?
It’s probably not what you expect. The name of this spark is selflessness. The beginning of highest integrity is the removal of the self and self-interests from your actions. Doesn’t it sound paradoxical? It is, and it is the truth. But how?
To find out, you have to shift the motives of your actions. Start doing the right thing, even and especially when no one is looking and no one will ever find out. Don’t say anything about anyone that you wouldn’t say looking straight into their eyes. Exercise at least one deliberate integrous action each day, where only you and no one else knows about it. Make this into a firm habit. It’s not as hard as it sounds. Here are a couple of examples, and you can surely think of more.
- Pay for people behind you in drive throughs and don’t wait to see the expression on their faces.
- Send random letters to strangers with inspiring and encouraging messages. It may be the best thing that happens to them that day.
- If you know someone is struggling financially and you are in a position to help, put some cash in a blank anonymous envelope, and leave it in their mailbox.
- Water wild flowers if there have been several days of hot sun with no rain.
- If you see trash in public places, pick it up and take it to the trash can…
Do you get the idea? These are actions that no one impels you to do and no one will blame you if you don’t do. The only reason you do them is because they are the right thing to do.
You may ask, “What does picking up trash in the parking lot have to do with integrity? Who cares about it? Who is going to appreciate it?” That’s exactly the point. It doesn’t matter who cares, knows or appreciates. You’re doing it because this builds up your own integrity.
This next point is crucial, so take a good note of it, and if you miss it, you’ll defeat the whole purpose. Here it comes. Do not credit yourself and inflate your ego as someone who’s doing kind deeds and good actions. If you do, you will fall into the trap of building a sense of superiority over others. Instead, forget about who did the action and focus on how these actions affected the recipients. When you switch your focus on this, you will feel instant warmth and gratification, and a giant smile will illuminate your face. This is the sign that you’re on the right path.
When you keep this lifestyle, you will soon notice that you can’t live otherwise. Integrity will become a way of living and all your actions will stem from this motive unconsciously. This kind of life is most gratifying, peaceful and content.
However, it doesn’t end here. There is another piece of the puzzle to this paradox. The more you focus on welfare and well-being of others and the environment, and the less you focus on your self-interests, the more you will find yourself surrounded by opportunities, abundance and blessings. You will never have to chase success, as success will find you in every corner.
But perhaps, most important of all, there is a subtle, invisible and enormously powerful consequence to living with integrity. You may not even be aware of it! Even so, you will be like a bright flame, giving light and warmth, and other people will be coming to you to light their own candles, and in time they will turn into flames just like you. Soon you may look up and see the world as a much brighter place! And how did this start? You will look back and marvel how actions so small, unknown and unappreciated by others could lead to brightening the world.
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com.