By Noelle Sterne
How to follow your dreams at any age.
When you reach a certain age, you may be tempted to abandon some of the dreams you feel you haven’t fulfilled. True, age may be a barrier to specific goals, such as winning at Wimbledon. But age doesn’t have to prevent or limit you from experiencing the glories of tennis, or whatever passion.
Barrier Breaking
Do you feel it’s too late? Ha! A few role models: Herman Cain, founder of Godfather’s Pizza, also had great success as a speaker and author. But when he held his 15-minute-old first granddaughter, he asked himself what he could do to contribute for a better world. So, at age 51, Cain entered the ministry. Four years later, he founded and continued to oversee centers throughout the country to help at-risk young people in academics, social skills and spiritual development. At 58, he ran for the Senate in Georgia, and at 66 he ran for United States president. Then he continued to contribute as a radio host and columnist.
In 2010, teacher and theater director Myrrha Stanford-Smith landed her first book deal—at age 82. The publisher, admirably age-unbound, signed her to a three-book deal.
An Arizona man, Sy Perlis, in June 2013 set a new world record for weightlifting. He started the sport only at age 60, began competitive lifting at 86, and holds the world record for his age group. At 95 in 2021, he was still going strong (see YouTube with that name).
In a book called Second Wind: The Rise of the Ageless Athlete, Lee Bergquist recounts many sagas of no-limits individuals. One, Don McNelly, completed more than 150 marathons—all after the age of 80.
See also entertainers—Paul McCartney at 80 touring and giving concerts, Clint Eastwood at 90 acting and directing, Judi Dench acting at 87, Rita Moreno at 90 in new roles. And there are many more.
I relate the feats of these people not to make you feel inadequate, ashamed of your marathon TV rerun-watching, or despairing that you’ll never get off the sofa. These stories are not for recrimination but to demonstrate limitlessness. We never need to accept conventions of age, notions of impossibility, or even satisfaction with accomplishments.
We don’t need to succumb to the apparently incontrovertible beliefs that so many people catch like the flu. They all begin with “You get to be a certain age and…
- You’re supposed to think only of retirement.
- You’re supposed to start getting all kinds of ailments.
- You’re supposed to become weak, vulnerable, unsteady, frail.
- You’re not supposed to entertain the idea of doing all kinds
of things, much less break new ground.
- You’re supposed to give up your dream and wail, “It’s too
late!”
How to start? Let’s take an example. If you dream of being a ballet dancer, granted, you probably should have started training at age 5½ . Now, at 42—paunchy, saggy, tired and stiff—you can stand on your toes only to reach the supersize box of salsa chips.
What can you do today to follow your dream? Some suggestions.
Do I Still Want This?
1. First ask yourself this: Do I still really want to involve myself with ballet? Or is it a residual “should” from old voices? Be honest. No one is listening or commanding you. You’re not late for your lessons when you’d rather be reading. But if you yearn to become hands-on, I mean toes-on, your answer is this: You bet your tutu!
2. If this is your answer, and you’re a little scared, remind yourself of age-breaking models. Here are a few just from the dance world. When do most ballerinas retire, in their thirties? At 50 Nina Ananiashvili was still dancing in starring roles in difficult ballets performed by the State Ballet of Georgia (Republic of Georgia) to rave reviews, for which she continued as artistic director. Martha Graham was performing at 75 and choreographed her 180th work at 95. And would you believe an 82-year-old ballerina? Norwegian classical dancer Grete Brunvoll, now 92, trained daily and gave regular public performances.
3. For more courage, look too at many other people in other fields—your own, especially—who continue developing their talents. They haven’t paid any attention to the barriers and stereotypes.
What Would You Really Love to Do?
4. Back to you and ballet. What would you really like to do to be around ballet—to see, hear, feel, smell, even taste ballet? List the qualities, outcomes, and feelings you want such activities to give you, even if you don’t yet know how to accomplish them: “Use my talent, use my passion and love for ballet, feel like I am contributing. “Keep this list in a special place (laminate it). Read it daily.
Your Big List
5. Now, make a list of ballet-related things that give you those soaring feelings:
- ö Observe classes, take a class (gulp), assist a dance teacher, bring your kids and their friends to ballet performances, read and lecture about ballet, start a blog for late-blooming balletophiles.
- Go visit places: classes, theaters, rehearsal studios, libraries.
- Talk to a dancer, a teacher, a student. Ask all the questions that occur to you.
- Offer help.
- Decide how you’ll present your dream to others—vita, video, essay on what you’d like to teach, an exciting elevator pitch, a list of your helping skills.
- Share your dream with your family and friends and ask for their support. Warn them not to laugh (they might even share some secret dreams of their own).
- Create a physical space for your dream project, even if it means first shoveling out the spare room or setting a bonfire to your desk.
- Make a schedule for yourself of hours/days/moments that you’ll devote to your project—even fifteen minutes a day and one task.
Move It
6. From your version of this list, start working with the smallest, most attainable thing—or the biggest, most enticing one. Depending on your passion, you may want to make two lists: one physical—pulling on tights (groaning optional) and taking a class—and the other educational/inspirational—researching, interviewing, or writing about dancers, choreographers, or great teachers.
7. Divide your physical and inspirational lists into manageable and possibly sequential activities. Physical preparation may start with stretching exercises, water aerobics, or yoga—or you can screw up your courage and actually take a dance class.
8. Your educational/inspirational list might include reading specific books about dancers (and especially those performing at later ages), watching videos of dancers (Nina Ananiashvili’s are truly inspiring), talking to dance instructors near you, meditating daily and seeing yourself (also daily) doing what you love to do in this field.
BEGIN
9. Remind yourself of George Eliot’s heartening quote, “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” And BEGIN.
Choose one item from either or both lists. A physical action is great first because it will get your heart going—physically and emotionally. Then pick one thing from your educational/inspiration list and you’ll know, with growing excitement, you’re achieving your dream.
If you need another boost, memorize these frequently quoted words of Unity poet James Dillet Freeman:
- Dare to be what you are meant to be
- and do what you are meant to do,
- and life will provide you the means to do it and be it.
Continue
Keep visualizing your dream. You do deserve it. Forgive yourself along the way.
Treat yourself gently. The future is yours to create. You deserve the future you desire.
And keep twirling . . . er . . . going.
Author’s Note: See also Noelle Sterne, Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011).
Noelle Sterne, author, editor, writing coach, workshop leader, and academic mentor, has published over 700 stories, essays, writing craft articles, spiritual pieces, and occasional poems in literary and academic print and online venues. Publications have appeared in Author Magazine, Bookends Review, Chicken Soup for the Soul (six volumes), Florida Writers Association Blog, Inspire Me Today, LiveWriteThrive, MindBodySpirit, Journal of Expressive Writing, Life and Everything After, Mused, Pen and Prosper, Romance Writers Report, Ruminate, Sasee, Spiritual Media Blog, Textbook and Academic Authors Association blog (monthly), Thesis Whisperer, Transformation Coaching, Two Drops of Ink (monthly), Unity Daily Word, Unity Magazine, WE Magazine for Women, Women in Higher Education, Women on Writing, Writing and Wellness, Writer’s Digest, and The Writer. Eons ago, she published a children’s book of original dinosaur riddles (HarperCollins), in print for 18 years. With a Ph.D. from Columbia University, for 30 years Noelle has assisted doctoral candidates in completing their dissertations (finally). Her published handbook to assist doctoral candidates is based on her professional academic practice: Challenges in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Psychological Struggles (Rowman & Littlefield Education, 2015). In Noelle’s spiritual self-help book, Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011), she draws examples from her academic consulting and other aspects of life to support readers in reaching their lifelong yearnings. Continuing with her own, she is draft-deep in her third novel. Her webinar about Trust Your Life can be seen on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95EeqllONIQ&feature=youtu.be. Visit Noelle at her website: http://www.trustyourlifenow.com.