By Arielle Giordano
When we learn to dance with our fears—rather than block them—they will no longer hold us back.
Following our heart leads us to our passion and truest desires in both career and personal relationships. When we question, “Is this right for me?” or “Is this true for me?” and then listen quietly to our deepest knowing, we hear the answer from our voice of true understanding and choice. It moves us with the insight to know, the courage to push forward, and the confidence to take action and trust in the process.
It’s time to listen to what we know in our heart, follow our passion, and dance like there is nobody watching!
Several years ago, I resigned from my position as chairperson for an international university. This was a huge step for me to take both personally and professionally. For many years, my fears, patterns, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, perceptions, self-criticisms, judgments, shame, and survival issues surfaced when I needed to make choices. When offered this job, I knew it did not feel right, but I listened to the voice of my survival instincts and signed the contract anyway. Although, the “free spirit” inside of me said to let the job go and move forward, my own insecurity, conditioning, and “old” ways of being motivated me to accept the position.
Prior to letting the job go, I was drawn to a woman at a networking event. We connected immediately, as if we already knew each other! I hired her as my life coach, and at our first meeting I shared my thoughts and feelings regarding this position. I was squeezing myself into a tiny “job box,” like a genie in a bottle, consumed by trying to fit in for minimal financial rewards. There was little passion, energy, or opportunity to express my true Self. Her answer was, “Quit your job!”
A big red flag went up inside me: “I can’t quit my job!” I can’t lose integrity and breach my contract, I told her. She said, “If you are not being true to yourself, then you are out of integrity with yourself.” I knew what she was saying was true; it tingled in my body, and the body knows before the mind.
I recognized that my creative flow was blocked by this job. I was not connecting to my inner flow and dancing my own dance. I realized I was dancing in someone else’s shoes and doing someone else’s job! Where was my self-worth and value? During the coaching, I participated in an abandonment recovery program, and it helped me realize that I had abandoned myself!
I knew it was time for me to quit the job. After sending the resignation email, I felt mentally and emotionally drained and physically ill. However, during this process I learned to dance with my fears rather than block them and let them hold me back.
Just after sending the email there was a knock at the door. It was the lawn man, handing me a tiny white rubber dog that he found. Immediately, I was reminded of my Native American animal medicine cards; the dog is a symbol for loyalty with the question, “Are you being true to yourself and your goals?” The following day, I connected with an empowerment center and was asked by one of the owners to teach dance and facilitate expressive arts and transformational workshops. The same day, I completed writing a textbook project, and I was invited to coauthor a chapter for Transform your Life. Later at the post office, I ran into the owner of a local bookstore and discussed the possibility of a book signing. Serendipity?
Learning Lessons
From this experience, I learned that my choices and decisions were based upon fears, inherited patterns, values, beliefs, and social conditions. I was living in a continuous state of anxiety, operating in survival mode, with adrenaline on high volume. I was afraid to live and “just be.” I was like a doll, tightly wound and bound, afraid to unravel and be true to my career passions and allow loving relationships in my life. Real desires, talents, and abilities were buried underneath my tender but painful childhood experiences.
As soon as my survival patterns came up, I danced the sidestep into a more traditional job rather than dancing with my passions. At the same time, these deep-rooted patterns were hurting my love relationship. So, in addition to changing my career path, I gradually opened my heart to my fiancé and let love happen—and now we are married and dancing together on many new levels. The healing of my past is about me reconnecting, rediscovering, and uncovering parts of me that I had forgotten.
What matters the most to me is dancing down to the bare bones, into the soles and rawness of my feet! I have released old patterns, feelings, and emotions, and bought new awareness to light. I am now living life dancing to the rhythm of my own heart, being present and in my body, and in the flow!
Awareness brings light to the surface, so let your heart dance in the light and express your true Self.
My advice to you: Dance like there is no one watching in a loving gentle space with openness and softness, without judgment, criticism, or ridicule. Dance with your passion, courage, fearlessness, confidence, and trust to gracefully become a new you!
Here are some ways to make powerful choices:
- Follow your passion with courage, confidence, and trust.
- Let the knowing in your heart guide you to your passions, which requires real honesty.
- Discern the repetition of conditioned patterns from the “real you.” (Are you dancing in your own shoes or in someone else’s?)
- Know that it is okay to become unstuck and move forward.
- Stretch and move out of the old, normal way of being, and let yourself be different.
- Know that goodness moves in many ways and we are never given more than we can handle; enjoy being new and fresh every day.
- When thoughts, feelings, beliefs patterns, perspectives or issues come up, make a conscious, powerful choice to move forward through the fears.
- Begin to move in the “awesomeness” of a child; be childlike and playful, do what you love, and have fun!
Transformational Life Coach Award-Winning Author & Speaker, Professional Dancer. Arielle’s Award-Winning book for Best Self-Help Award: Dancing With Your Story From The Inside is available on http://www.Amazon.com. Her professional career includes the Lead Faculty Area Chairperson and Professor for the College of Humanities, History and the Arts at the University of Phoenix. She is a published co-author of Transform Your Life Books 1 & 2 and author for Tampa Bay Wellness, Conscious Shift & Transformation magazine. She has published her 4th book, an Instructor’s Manual for Barlow Abnormal Psychology 4th ed. and authored Psychology, A Journey 3rd.ed. Study Guide published by Nelson Education, Toronto, ON. She has also studied philosophy at the College of Integrated Philosophy with John DeRuiter for twenty years. Arielle has been a featured guest on radio and television, in newspapers, and the media across the US and Canada. She is a certified Essentrics Stretch and Dance Instructor. Arielle offers coaching sessions, classes and workshops and a free 30-minute Consultation. Websites: http://www.dancingfromtheinsideout.com, http://www.ariellegiordano.com. Email: agbeautifuldance@gmail.com