Photo Credit: Unsplash/Frank McKenna
By Gregg Sanderson
“Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours.”—Richard Bach
I have a friend with remarkable insight. Because of his domineering father, he became a people-pleaser. His mother made him afraid of women, and a broken romance caused him to retire within his shell.
He sabotages himself in every possible way, and he knows exactly how it all came about. His self-analysis makes boring conversation, but he’ll still share it whenever he can. His slogan is, “I’m workin’ on it,” which is another way of saying “I haven’t done anything about it.”
Another friend also has remarkable insight. She recognizes her tendencies toward people pleasing so she becomes more self-expressive. She knows her parents weren’t ambitious, but she sets her goals higher and presses on. Her slogan is, “So what?”
Which one, do you think, is more fun to be with?
Answer… The funniest line in this column has been censored by the editor, cursed with good taste.
In the World of BOB (the Being of Bliss) we have a slogan, “Principle is not bound by precedent.” It’s just another way of saying, “So what?”
In other words, whatever happened in the near or distant past or in your childhood does not need to affect the way you are now, but it can cripple you emotionally if you use it to justify yourself. Misery loves justification even more than company.
There are only two possible responses to any justification: “That’s why…” or “So what?”
Daddy was a drunk
1) That’s why I’m a souse.
2) So what?
The one I love left me for another.
1) That’s why I’ll never love again.
- So what?
A character in a book ate an apple.
- That’s why I must atone.
- So what?
My granddaddy was a horse thief.
1) That’s why I’ll never amount to anything.
2) So what?
Somebody who looked like me but wasn’t me once persecuted somebody who looked like you but wasn’t you.
1) That’s why I live with generic guilt.
2) So what?
I fell in love with my mother at age four.
1) That’s why my life is a mess.
2) So what?
My father was a super-achiever.
1) That’s why I’m a failure.
2) So what?
I’m too (Check one or more) tall, short, fat, skinny, young, old, shy, aggressive, nice, mean, self-centered, desperate, aloof…Whatever.
1) That’s why I can’t make it with the opposite sex.
2) So what?
We’re always at choice with our justifications. What’ll it be, suppress them or address them?
I’m workin’ on it.
So what?
Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any time. You can see it at http://www.newthoughtglobal.org.