By Jo Mooy
They can be the most important relationships over a lifetime. They provide emotional support, stimulate intellectual discussions and create intimate bonds tighter than any other relationship. Most importantly, they cherish and nourish the soul. If you’re female and lucky enough to have one or two, you should be admired and respected because they have withstood the trials of life and time. “They” are women’s friendships, some of the most uplifting and precious experiences ever.
Two of these magical friendships you’ve heard about. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, devotedly wed and the mother of seven, said of her activist partner, Susan B. Anthony: “So closely interwoven have been our lives, our purposes and experiences, that when separated we have a feeling of incompleteness.”
Oprah Winfrey defines her day with a ritual nightly phone call to BFF Gayle King. Their 30-year friendship has withstood marriage, divorce, kids, dogs, haircuts, weight gains and losses, and careers, together and apart.
Women go through three stages in life: She is Maiden, Mother and Crone (or Wise Woman.) During these stages, she makes deep friendships along that glide path. Often the friendships begin in childhood and continue through high school, college and the workplace. Each stage of the Maiden, Mother, and Crone brings into our sphere different types of women friends. Some are teammates, some are colleagues, but all have a degree of intimacy and familiarity along with a deep reliance on the other. The drama or wildness of friends in the Maiden stage is lessened as friendships mature, evolving into marriage and motherhood.
These friendships are consuming. Together, the women survive marriages, births, deaths and divorces. Over the course of the lifelong relationships, these women shared a million diets and bra sizes. They can ignore the slight of a spouse, but if it comes from one of these special friendships, they are inconsolable. Yet, they have kept safe each other’s secrets. Why? Because the most important quality that pervades these long-term friendships is trust. When women friends have earned that, nothing, not even time and distance, husbands or boyfriends, will break the sacred bonds created.
By the time women reach the Wise Woman state they’ve been through the battles and won many wars. Whether it’s a bus or a limo or a car, they ride together. They no longer have time for gossip or whining or criticizing. They turn to those life-long friendships with renewed hearts knowing the other Crones have walked the long road and learned from that journey. There’s comfort too in those relationships along with ease and laughter in the telling of the tales.
As Wise Women, they’ve now become the caregivers and counselors. These women lift each other up in support and exuberance. They offer sage wisdom and guidance to the Mothers and Maidens. They stand as wise reminders to the younger ones, that there are older women they can lean on and who will mentor them. For the Crones are the ones who built the foundations for the Maidens and Mothers to stand upon and thrive. Because of their sacrifices, the new friendships being forged by Maidens and Mothers owe them their due.
Treasure and build your friendships with women just as they did. Hold each other’s secrets. Laugh at the follies. Ignore the diets, even when pants are too tight. Continue the fight for equality and justice. But keep those special women in your life. With them there is a covenant and these friendships will nurture hold you fast for a lifetime.
Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.