By Gary Loper
How can you touch the world?
Believe and trust that you can touch the world. You only need to touch 5 percent of the population to start creating positive shifts.
“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief, and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen”
—Claude Bristol
Keep going, keep having faith that you are making the right choice to help your clients, your families and your relationships to become more loving and connected. Successively it will create “the butterfly effect.”
How many people are we able to touch? How are our relationships going to get better?
One of the things that drives me is my family relationships. I am estranged from most of my family, and this situation is a huge motivation to build better relationships. In my case, I do not know if recovering my family dynamics is feasible, but I do know that there is a hunger for relationships and community in my life. We all have that need. If you were not born into a healthy family dynamic, then you need to create one or find one that serves you better than your birth family. My motivation to build better relationships stems from what I feel I did not receive but long for in my life. My aspiration and goal is to help other people who have had the same experiences and concern.
So, what is one thing that people can do to make this type of shift?
Listen to people, love them, and love them the way they want to be loved. Every relationship is going to be different. You may have grown up one way, but you need to be open enough to say, “My partner did not grow up in the same situation. My friends did not have the same experiences.” So, we need to be open to how other people feel and experience love—and not make judgments. Every situation is going to be a little different. If there are different things that people are doing in their relationships to fulfill each other’s needs, and it helps them feel loved, then it is no place of mine or anyone else’s to say that it is wrong. In relationships there are three essential components to success: listening to your partner, speaking that person’s love language and showing acceptance.
One thing that my wife Caryl and I do yearly is renew our wedding vows. We just celebrated 12 years in December, 2016, but we missed two years where we didn’t go back to the beach where we were married to renew our vows because we had conflicts that ran over our anniversary time. However, we still worked through it. It was and is an important ceremony in our relationship to have that special day. So, find those special aspects in your relationship that you can celebrate, and show love and appreciation for each other.
There is a movie called Milk Money, and one line that stands out from the movie is: “How do you touch a woman in a place that will drive her crazy”? It is her heart.
How do you touch each other’s hearts?
Years ago when I was bartending, I was going to write a book. I interviewed women. I asked them to fill out slips of paper on how somebody touched their heart. Ninety-five percent of the responses came back about daily things… kisses hello, kisses goodbye, making the bed, taking out the garbage.
Sometimes we get caught up in the “Hallmark Moments,” or big stories of extravaganza, such as when we did something like have a plane write our partner’s name in sky. But it’s so important to touch our loved ones every single day, validate them, honor and cherish them. If we do, they will keep filling up our bucket as we keep filling up their bucket.
“We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over.”
—Gloria Naylor
Author’s note: Looking to have a deeper understanding of relationships, download my free eBook, 20 Secrets to Building Better Love Relationships at http://www.garyloper.com/garys-good-stuff/free-ebooks/secrets-to-building-better-love-relationships/
Gary Loper is a recognized Twitter expert, life and business coach, mindset coach, motivational speaker, trainer and highly respected entrepreneur, helping people master the business of life by Building Better Relationships. Visit his website at garyloper.com.