By Joeel Rivera
Many of my client’s come to me because they feel STUCK and are ready to breakthrough and transform their lives. They feel on the verge of transformation—either life is pushing them to change or something they’ve been wanting feels just out of reach. In fact, most people are seeking to break through in one way or another.
Wanting to improve their lives does not take away from their current success, achievement, or transformation—it simply demonstrates that they understand that they’re ready to take it to the next level or may be very close to a quantum leap of progress.
Some feel that their current financial situation does not reflect who they truly are, and so they’re ready for a financial breakthrough. Others may be ready to breakthrough in their relationships, careers, direction of life, parenting or any number of other aspects of life. So, what is it that holds them back from achieving that breakthrough? What they want isn’t clearly defined.
1 CLARITY: The first step to breaking through is to gain clarity:
What often keeps people stuck is that they have not defined what their desired “breakthrough” actually is. They are not specific enough about the outcomes they seek and therefore do not truly understand what they would have to do in order to get where they want to be. For example, someone will say “I want to have a lot of money.” I then ask, “so what does that mean?” and they look at me confused, as if I would have the answer to define what “a lot of money” means to them. You see, the statement itself is so vague—undefined—that it will not help them come up with actual solutions to achieve the success that they desire.
Many people tell me they do not know what they want or why they have not achieved what they want, but at their core they actually already have the answers that they are looking for. I challenge them by telling them, “I know you do not know the answer, but if you HAD to tell me something what would it be?” Surprisingly, they tell me the answer. Why? Because they are used to saying “I don’t know” and they have told the story so many times that they start to believe it.
Once you tell yourself a story enough times it becomes your reality.
So, when you tell yourself that you “can’t” or you “don’t know” and an opportunity comes along you can’t see it because you have a blind spot that has been created by the story that you have told yourself.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- What area of your life you want to breakthrough?
- What would this change look like?
- What would it mean?
- What is preventing you from getting there?
2 STRATEGY: The second step to breaking through is to find a strategy:
Find a strategy that works for you, but don’t reinvent the wheel. Learn what works by finding other people who have successfully done what you want to do and follow their formula. Remember, everything has a strategy and if you can find the right formula it can save you years of trial and error. The benefit of living in the information age is that we have access to strategies all around us. We can get on our phone or computer, buy a book, go to a workshop, take an online course, join a group and so on.
So ask yourself:
- Who has already achieved the outcomes you’re looking for?
- What strategy did they use? What’s the formula?
- What do you need to do?
This is why I invest so much time and money into my growth and exposing myself to new experiences, people and information that will help me develop strategies for the outcomes I want.
3 STORY: The third step to breaking through is to change your story:
Even with clarity about the transformation you seek and a solid strategy, the biggest obstacle to breaking through is the story you tell yourself.
People tell me all the time that they have “tried a million ways” but nothing works. However, when I asked them what strategies they have used they can only tell me at most 2 or 3. Then, when I probe a little deeper I find that they tried those same unsuccessful strategies over and over again until they started to believe that what they want is not possible.
Joeel A Rivera, M.Ed., is a visionary, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker. From an early age, Joeel faced adversity, including immigrating to the United States, failing his freshman year of college, losing his brother, and being in a nearly fatal car accident. These experiences inspired him to return to college, where he earned a Master’s Degree in Education and is currently completing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology, with an emphasis on happiness. Joeel opened a non-profit teen center in honor of his brother and developed curriculums for the Juvenile Justice System. In almost a decade, Joeel has reached over ten thousand people as an educator, entrepreneur, speaker, and consultant. Visit www.ignitelife.me.
The truth is that if you can find someone that has done it, then you can do it as well. The only thing that separates them from you is that they choose a different story.
Find the Right Story
You have to be selective about the story you choose. You have to find a story that is going to empower you to act because even if you have the right strategy the wrong story will keep you from taking action. And, even if you do take action, you still may not truly commit to it because you need to fail in order to justify the old story that tells you that it does not work.
So, ask yourself:
- What story about yourself, your problem or your goal do you tell yourself and others about why you aren’t where you want to be?
- What new story are you going to tell about yourself? Your problem? Your breakthrough?
- What evidence can you find that supports this new story?
What I do is find people who live the story I want. I listen to their journey and learn the tools and formulas that they have to offer. I listen to them over and over again until I believe that it is possible for me, at an unconscious level. I also write down my own story and am clear about what I want. I make vision boards and hang them in my house. I use affirmations and tell everyone I can about my new story. I find the right strategies and implement them, and when I fail I find what was working and what was not and I modify my strategy until I create the results that I want.
Breakthroughs happen when you combine clarity of purpose, a successful strategy, an empowering story, and inspired action. When you’re prepared and the right opportunity presents itself, transformation happens in a single moment.
Joeel A Rivera, M.Ed., is a visionary, entrepreneur, and motivational speaker. From an early age, Joeel faced adversity, including immigrating to the United States, failing his freshman year of college, losing his brother, and being in a nearly fatal car accident. These experiences inspired him to return to college, where he earned a Master’s Degree in Education and is currently completing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology, with an emphasis on happiness. Joeel opened a non-profit teen center in honor of his brother and developed curriculums for the Juvenile Justice System. In almost a decade, Joeel has reached over ten thousand people as an educator, entrepreneur, speaker, and consultant. Visit www.ignitelife.me.