By Berenice Andrews
It all began quite innocently. My 14-year-old honorary grandson had asked for an “interview” with me. Of course, I had said “yes.” The moment arrived; his questions were ready.
He informed me that his civics class assignment was to interview someone “successful” in order to discover the role goal setting had played in this achievement. Out of that interview (and his subsequent written report), he would gain useful knowledge about the benefits of “planning ahead.”
When I asked him if he thought that this was important, he replied that he figured that it was because a person with purpose, who planned ahead by setting goals and meeting them, could expect to be “successful.” When I asked him what he thought this meant, he replied that it meant having nice things and feeling comfortable and happy.
Then, I realized that these were the presuppositions in forming his questions. Since he firmly believed that I was “successful,” he was eagerly anticipating my revelations about my purposes and the goals I had set (and met) in my life.
I was in a quandary! How was I to tell the boy that in this third dimension “purpose” was paradoxical: that it could apply both to a person—as an animal soul—driven by a blind obedience to a root chakra’s survival imperative, and to a person—as a human energy being—obedient to an inner “summons” to evolve spiritually…and that the “goals” for each were quite different? After silently calling upon the indwelling Spirit, I invited the first question and waded in.
The Conversation
It was quite a balancing act: to remain in truth, to address my autobiography, and to teach my honorary grandson what he had to learn about “being in this world, but not of it,” i.e., about “purpose” as paradox.
I began by reminding him that I had been his age, once. While the memories flooded up, I carefully described my childhood—animal soul—years of: living in an outer environment of rigid patriarchy and religiosity, while my inner environment was filled with indescribable spiritual yearnings; of growing up feeling a pervasive rage that had fed an unwavering “purpose”—to hang on until I could escape—and, of setting the “goals” that had furthered it. He listened attentively, took careful notes, and started asking new questions.
They prompted a deep discussion about the widespread physical, emotional, and mental impoverishment in this world. This led us into examining how an insistent focus on survival, during and following an impoverished childhood, could curtail a person’s real human development. Then, we reflected on the likelihood that any goals set by this person would reveal unsatisfied childhood needs.
We segued into the crucial idea of “intent:” how at a basic survival level it could be “purpose” indicating an implacable drive to satisfy leftover needs by achieving “success,” as measured by money, possessions, and status. We noted how widespread that idea was and how frequently the world’s “successful” people revealed deep psychological damage. He listened, took more notes, and asked more questions.
Then, I stepped “way out of the box.” I reminded him about the heroic myths that he had read: how the hero had set an intent—stated a “purpose”—to obtain a treasure and had then embarked upon the journey of “finding” it, how necessary it had been to maintain that intent along with an attention to whatever (often confusing) events came along, how both the intent and attention had promoted the hero’s increasing awareness. We noted that while the stories had told about an implacable purpose, there had been no hard and fast “goals” to be met. And why?…because this had been a spiritual quest during which the hero had maintained both his intent and attention, while acknowledging, accepting, and allowing the unforeseen and the unexpected.
And I gently told my honorary grandson that in my later years, when I would have been called a “success,” I had experienced a “crisis” that had brought me back to my early spirituality; that afterward, I had left all my old “purposes” behind and set forth on my own spiritual quest. He just listened, and I sensed his readiness…
There was one more piece to impart: that I had neither set nor met any personal “goals” for years; that although I had lived with an unwavering purpose—my spiritual intent—I had simply obeyed the indwelling Spirit and maintained my attention. I couldn’t tell the boy anything else…except that the disciplines of obedience and attentiveness, along with the discipleship of making the journey, were goals in themselves.
That was enough for him to digest. We ended the “interview” by agreeing that if “purpose” was paradoxical (and it clearly was!) so, too, was “success” and that they were important topics for him to explore further.
The Overview
Then, how do we speak about “finding your purpose”? As I see it, the survival imperative of your root chakra consciousness—the hallmark of animal soul being—requires unflinching “purpose” and “goals,” combined with implacable control—a primitive form of discipline. You can acknowledge and accept this as being a necessary part of your animal soul years. You can even allow this, while you embark on your journey of spiritual evolution and while you clear the first hurdles along the way.
Why? …because that animal soul’s “purpose” and “goals” (what else is there?) will figure prominently in the first tasks of purifying, simplifying, and unifying the existential “work” of healing your damaged animal soul centers of consciousness. Thus, consciousness-raising will progress concurrently with healing your damaged soul structures and, thence, your “bodies” (form follows consciousness!).
Meanwhile, the energies of your purpose/intent, grounded in obedience and attentiveness to the inner Spirit, will come to the fore. Thereby, you’ll be moving gradually into your heart awareness—the “knowing” and the love connection—your increasing transparency to the transcendent energies of Life, Light, Love, and Law. Then you’ll realize that your only purpose is your ongoing spiritual evolution.
And while you continue to “find your purpose”—often expressed as a commitment to “finding wisdom,”—it will be a shining beacon leading you onward. Your “goals” will be the disciplines and discipleship of your journey.
“Purpose” is an amazing paradox…at least, that’s how I see it.
Berenice Andrews is a shamanic teacher/healer and the author of Rebirthing Into Androgyny: Your Quest For Wholeness, And Afterward. She writes: “although my autobiography includes growing up in a mining camp, leaving it, marrying, birthing two children, divorcing, obtaining a “higher” education and having a professional career, that’s just my personal history. My Sacred Story is the one that tells about “knowing” the indwelling Spirit, losing that awareness, finding it again in an “awakening,” meeting my shaman teacher, learning the healer’s craft, recognizing my life’s purpose and thereafter, following my bliss.” To become her sudent, visit thestonecircleclassroom.com.