By Tracey Ashcraft
Have you ever watched the reality TV show Bert the Conqueror? If so, you have witnessed Bert in action conquering “The Fear Monster.” Perfectly cast for the role, Bert is a guy who tackles his fears head-on. In the show, he rides the world’s most insanely scary roller coasters, people launchers, death drops, and other outrageously terrifying amusement park rides. What makes the show work so well is that Bert doesn’t hide his fear. It is out there in all its glory for the world to see. Then he pushes through, mostly with laughter and jokes, and slays it. We cheer Bert on, a seemingly ordinary guy, as he shows us how to face our fears with resolve. We, too, can adopt a similar stance to face our own fears when armed with a practical approach to overcome the worries and uncertainties that keep us from reaching our full potential in life.
For many of us, the Fear Monster doesn’t just show up at the amusement park. Often it makes a bold appearance when we are working on making positive changes in our lives. It can turn up as panic or scary thoughts that try to convince us to run back to the safety net of our old, uninspiring life or behaviors. It can sound like: “Who do I think I am? I can’t work for myself; how will I get health insurance if I’m self-employed?!” Or: “I need money now! I need to stop working on my website copy and go online and look for a ‘real’ job.” It can hit us at our core and crush our spirit in its grip if we let it. “My parents will think I am crazy if I leave my secure corporate job and open my own antiques business. I am not smart enough, skilled enough, savvy enough. I don’t have enough money to start my own business. I can’t write a book. I don’t have a journalism degree.” And the list goes on.
If we don’t stand up to our fears, it can derail our dreams and send us running back to depressing cubicles, boring careers or uninspiring life goals before we know what happened. So grab your sword and prepare to fight back! Use the following tips to develop a battle plan that will lead you to victory in the war against The Fear Monster:
1. Dream. Allow yourself to imagine how your life will be once you implement positive change. If you have trouble visualizing what it can be like, then you may need to spend a substantial amount of time on this step. For example, you can make a vision board or a collage of pictures to visualize what you want. You can journal about it. Let yourself go there. Do you like what you see?
2. Know your truth. Don’t believe The Fear Monster. Imagine that it is a person trying to convince you to do something that is not good for you. Keep telling yourself it is giving you bad advice. Just because a thought is repeating in your head does not mean that it is truth.
3. Get Clear. Stop living in denial. Imagine your life in 10 years if you are in the same place. Do you like what you see? If not, don’t convince yourself you will be happy in the future.
4. Have a plan. Write out an outline of what you would need to do to make your dream a reality. Don’t worry about the small details at first. Estimate how long you think it should take to accomplish each task. Set a date for when you will complete the transformation.
5. Energize yourself. Don’t fuel the beast! If you notice your energy is fueling The Fear Monster, stop. Energize your project and focus on the positive. Tackle one of the small goals on your plan to make your project feel like it is creating a new reality.
6. Face it. Turn around and face The Fear Monster. Learn to laugh in its face. Feel the fear and release it. Imagine you are standing at the top of a ski slope. Filled with fear and adrenaline, you peer over the edge. Overcome with the desire to swoosh down the mountain, you push through the fear and do it. Racing down the mountainside you have transformed your fear into exhilaration. You feel joy!
7. Get informed. Uncertainty is a big source of trepidation, so take time to do research related to your fears. For instance, if your biggest fear is having your own business and not being able to get health insurance, make it a priority to find out the details on health insurance options for the self-employed. If it has been your dream to run a bakery but you don’t know what is involved, consider working in or volunteering for one that would not be your direct competitor.
8. Accept it. Realize that fear is a normal part of the change process. If you notice the fear, but don’t give it any more fuel, then you easily can get back on track with your plans.
9. Don’t quit. Set aside time to work your plan each day and make a commitment.
10. Believe in yourself. Challenge any negative self talk that arises in your head. Be your own cheerleader. If you can think it, you can accomplish it. Thought is the foundation for creation in our universe. Set your intention to focus on the positive and you will be amazed at what you are capable of manifesting in your life.
Tracey Ashcraft, M.A., L.P.C., is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Coach. She specializes in helping adults and college students cope with emotionally intense people. She brings her sense of humor and a tell-it-like-it-is style that helps people get to the truth quickly. Sessions are offered in Boulder, CO, and via phone or video chat. For more information visit www.bestlifetherapy.com