By Terez Hartmann
The dance of forward motion and “the space between.”
Constant Movement?
Get out of your comfort zone! Push yourself harder! No pain, no gain!
How many times have we heard these phrases—especially in Western-based cultures—and felt that in order to grow and “live your best life,” these are THE formulas for achieving success?
While growth does happen when we reach beyond what is familiar, and challenging yourself builds confidence and can make you feel truly alive, living in a state of constant stress, throwing yourself out of balance, or feeling like something has gone horribly wrong if things are calm and quiet for more than three seconds is often the reason why anxiety, depression, sleep challenges, and a heightened state of day-to-day stress are so prevalent in our modern, fast-moving world.
As a high-energy human who is all about moving “Onward, Upward & Forward” and who is also EXTREMELY driven and goal-oriented, I too, unfortunately, have found myself (whether consciously or unconsciously) feeling like things were amiss if there wasn’t some pressing thing that needed to be attended to, if the clock wasn’t ticking toward meeting my next target date, or if I was not on some device of the moment looking something up or reaching out to one of my people.
I also noticed that when realizing a new dream or completing a big project, rather than fully celebrate and savor the magic of the moment, more often than not I would crash…HARD.
What WAS this thing—and, more importantly, what could I do to create a new experience for myself to allow my energy and well-being to continue to flow more consistently?
Recognizing the joy truly is in the journey, it seemed logical that getting my hands into the next thing and starting a new journey STAT was the answer, but time and time again, once I would reach the next finish line, or any time my progress would slow or stop for one reason or another, some kind of self-imposed drama would ensue, and there I was back at square one…
…So no matter how much I tried to dance around it, I knew if I was going to live a long, happy, healthy life, rather than burn out and follow an unhealthy path like so many others before me, I knew it was time to make peace with “the space between.”
Enter: Contentment.
Contentment: The Space Between
In the “Blue Zone” longevity studies, along with data from the happiest countries in the world*, one of the common denominators of people who live long, happy, healthy lives revolve around the idea of cultivating contentment.
Many cultures (like the one from whence I came) have long taught that unless you are living at full throttle, are having peak experiences all the time, or are suffering and enduring valiantly for a worthy cause, you are somehow “less”—yet these states are simply not sustainable indefinitely—and many people who continue to live at this pace are the first to experience some form if dis-ease or have a shorter life span than perhaps they would have preferred.
In contrast, the humans who reach 100 years of age (and beyond), who are also still healthy and happy, are those who live with a more balanced rhythm and flow. They continue to do what they love and keep learning new things, yet they celebrate the every-day simple pleasures. They participate in rewarding connections with a like-minded community. And they allow time to honor body, mind and spirit on a daily basis.
While it may not be my destiny to buy a villa in Tuscany, host intimate dinners, and live quietly-ever-after, I have absolutely seen just how well my body, mind, spirit, and relationships respond to cultivating true contentment in my life.
Yes, setting your focus and energy into motion is indeed a powerful way to engage the magic of the Universe, but also allowing time to unplug, to be fully present with the ones you love, to truly savor life, and to embrace times of calm and quiet, is what FUELS productivity, creativity, what truly FEEDS health and well-being, and what can ultimately extend your life.
If you feel like you or your clients could also benefit from enjoying “the space between” more by sprinkling a little more contentment into your life, give this tool a spin:
The Contentment Activation Process
STEP 1: Start by making a list of at least five “Contentment Catalysts” = thoughts, ideas and memories that are linked to feelings of Ahhh…
For example—Some of my “Contentment Catalysts” include:
Sitting in my favorite spot with my favorite blanket with “Magic” (our sweet kitty) curled up in my lap.
The smell in the air and crunch of dried leaves when hiking in the fall.
The happy song, “Amas Veritas” (which loosely translates to “the truth of love”) that plays at the end of the movie “Practical Magic.”
Being perched on a shoreline or boulder enjoying the sights and sounds of a beautiful waterfall.
Cuddling with my husband and listening to him read to me.
STEP 2: Amp up the contentment vibes by adding sensory “tags” related to your “Contentment Catalysts” and keep them accessible:
àSee: Create a photo or video gallery.
àHear: Create a playlist of songs/music/sounds.
àSmell: Bring in candles, essential oils, perfumes or any item that create related/similar scents.
àTaste: Eat and drink food/beverages that taste like contentment.
àTouch: Touch a fabric, blanket, plush, object, or your favorite furry creature.
STEP 3: Read and add to your list/sensory tags daily and as inspired.
STEP 4: DO something related to contentment for you and savor the moment to the MAX.
STEP 5: Sleep with contentment.
Review your list and tags when preparing for bed to go to sleep with calm, happy thoughts
NOTE: Be kind to YOU as you find your balance and rhythm.
If you grew up with or are currently part of a culture of constant stress and crisis, or feel a constant need to be “on” or doing all the time, do know that just like any substance, your body and mind can actually form a very real addiction to the fight-or-flight chemicals your body produces from being in these all-or-nothing states. And just like breaking away from any kind of unhealthy substance, pattern, or habit, it typically takes a solid sense of conviction, a lot of self-love, some time, and consistency to create new rhythms in your life. With this, I highly recommend:
àBe patient and kind with yourself as you find your own unique balance of “Forward Motion and Contentment.”
àReach out and allow for some support – Connecting with a life coach, accountability partner, or therapist can highly increase your chances of staying on track and cultivating lasting new rhythms and healthy life balance.
The Bottom Line: Coaching Balance and The Dance of Forward Motion and Contentment
Change and forward motion are indeed the nature of life—and there is incredible joy and energy in being an active and intentional participant in creating our own story. But even after attending the world’s best party, there is still joy to be found in curling up in your comfy bed at the end of the night, recalling the details about the fun that you had, waking to have a nice cup of coffee or tea with your favorite person or pet the next morning, and just taking a moment or two to say “thank you” for being alive. Moving forward is always fabulous, but perhaps it is “the space between” that truly makes the dance of life that much sweeter?
Author’s Note: For more tools to cultivate Contentment and move joyfully “Onward, Upward & Forward” visit: https://www.terezfirewoman.com/shop2.
Terez “Firewoman” Hartmann is a Visionary Creative & top-rated instructor, Law of Attraction & Allowing YOUR Success specialist, published author, speaker, singer-songwriter, recording & performing artist & composer, “Catalyst for Fab-YOU-lous” and true Renaissance Woman who has already helped over 10,000 students in over 130 countries allow success and live life on FIRE. She is deeply passionate about helping other Powerful Creatives and Leading-Edge Thinkers live unique, empowered lives on their terms by cultivating the courage to dream, to express themselves boldly & authentically, and to focus Onward, Upward and Forward into new possibilities. http://www.terezfirewoman.com