Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt
Toxic Relationship Recovery Expert, helping professional women heal and thrive so they can create and attract healthy relationships.
Stephanie McPhail is a Toxic Relationship/Breakthrough Coach and the author of the book and workbook Being Loved Shouldn’t Hurt, which were number one new releases. She is on the CORE counsel of Experts for Avaiya University, is a certified coach, has a double master’s degree in Health and Education and a bachelor’s degree in Psychology. She also is a Certified Crisis Counselor, Certified Coach and Reiki Practitioner who specializes in coaching professional women to heal and thrive so they can create and attract healthy relationships.
What is your niche (coaching focus) and how did you choose it?
I am the Toxic Relationship Recovery Coach. I became interested in coaching other professional women to heal from toxic relationships after finally ending my own cycle of going from one bad relationship to another one. I have found that professional women are successful in their careers because of their ability to work hard, figure things out and never give up. The problem that arises when in an unhealthy relationship is that we tend to stay too long with someone hoping we can figure out the problem and lose ourselves in the process.
Who is your ideal client?
My ideal client is a professional woman between 35-55, who has felt herself go from one toxic relationship to another one and has finally realized that whatever she has done in the past has not been effective. She realizes she can’t figure it out in her own and is ready to take action on healing so she can stop wasting time and start living her best life now.
What inspired you to become a life coach?
Once I left my abusive marriage, I felt like the world was more beautiful than I had ever seen it before. I thought about how hard I fought to stay with a toxic partner and what I would have missed out on had I not left and done the hard work. I felt it my calling to spread the message of hope to others, reminding them they were here to share their gift, not suffer while wasting their time on someone that didn’t appreciate them for all that they were. I love watching our clients break free from the dark cloud and step into their power. It’s truly beautiful.
How long have you been coaching?
I have been coaching since 2017, but my business really took off in 2020.
How did you get your first client?
I got my first volunteer client so I could practice after I had already created my Facebook group and posted in it asking for anyone who would like free coaching in exchange for a testimonial. I was able to get a few clients under my belt, and then start to charge and grow from there.
How has your coaching journey changed your life?
When I started coaching, I was a full-time teacher at a low-income district. I loved working with the kids, but I knew I could make a greater impact on the world by sharing my story with a larger audience. I was able to leave my teaching position two years ago and move cross-country from NY to TX, and now I get to spend more time with my children, work side-by-side with my husband and change lives every day. It’s a daily reminder of how important it is to follow your calling. it’s not only best for you, but it’s best for those who also benefit from you living your best life.
What is the most challenging part of being a life coach?
For me the most challenging part was figuring out my marketing and messaging. It’s so important to get really, really clear and, since that was not my background, it took some testing and a lot of learning to understand how to really dial that in.
What is the most fulfilling part of being a life coach?
I cry tears of joy with each aha moment, each breakthrough and each life changed. Knowing that each person I work with will live a better life because of working with me fills my heart. I can’t imagine a better job than helping the world become better one person at a time.
What has been your most inspirational coaching moment, with a client?
There are have been so many amazing stories. A favorite story is a client in an abusive relationship who had been asked to go to their local bar down the street. She had been working hard on our modules and had done a lot of inner work at that point. She said yes, and when they got there he started to belittle her and try and make her feel bad. She looked at him, picked up her keys, walked right out and directly to a hotel and never went back. She now has her own place, a great job and an improved relationship with her adults kids and her friends.
After just three weeks, another client, who had been terribly abused for most of her life, was being asked by her grandchildren for extra hugs to get her positive energy, and they shared how happy they were that she wasn’t so angry all the time. She hadn’t even realized she was lashing out. She was loving her life in a way she never done before and was even going out to hug trees! Because she also started to go out in public again after years of staying secluded, she was able to reconnect with a friend a week before she passed away in a car accident. She would have never have had those experiences had she not done the work.
What is your favorite coaching activity or exercise to do with clients?
My favorite activity to do with clients is my deep dive session. I get to sit on an hour call and hear their life story while connecting the dots as to how they got to this place in their lives. Then I give them specific steps to take action on.
What has been the most effective strategy for finding clients and/or growing your business?
The most effective strategy has been growing my private facebook group, which has over 15,500 people, with very direct messaging and targeting to reach my market.
What advice would you give YOURSELF back when you first dreamed of becoming a coach?
Keep learning from your clients, keep refining your message and appreciate the process. Don’t compare your success to others, but keep in mind the life-changing results you will be sharing the more people you can help, so don’t give up!
What is the impact you want to make in this world?
I believe that if each person understood their strengths and that they were here for a very important purpose—and then actually took action on their calling—we would have a much happier world. My goal is to help as many women as I can step into their full potential and, in turn, help make the world a better place for our future generations.
Is there anything else you would like to share with Transformation Coaching Magazine readers?
Never forget, you are more powerful than you can imagine and stronger than you realize. You matter, your voice needs to be heard, and your gifts need to be shared.