By Frannie Hoffman
Year after year I watch us all venture on the most important path to our heart, and on the way we take so many detours when doubt and fear seems to creep up through the crevices of our minds. We forget, maybe only for a moment, that God is our constant companion.
When we take the road without following our hearts, we get lost in a world that could never give us what we truly want.
My life has brought me heartache, sickness, bankruptcy, divorce, betrayal, death of loved ones, and so much more. All of it has helped me to move forward in this earth school to learn lessons for my soul, hard lessons about true love and commitment. All of it was practice to prepare me for even deeper lessons and the biggest test of my life to date: to love myself enough to listen to the voice of God within that loves my son from a place that is rooted in my most grounded place, my heart. Within my being, I had to be present with all of the emotions that held me close in my commitment to truth. I had no choice but to follow spirit’s lead to bring me the strength to tell the truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
I was walking on shaky ground. I trembled in all of the uncomfortable fear of losing my son forever to addiction.
I needed to be courageous, with eyes of honesty, as I stayed within the container of spirit that held me with the strongest grip I have ever known. I loved my son enough to let him go.
That’s how God loves. To love someone enough to let that person go to uncover his or her own heart, even when that choice is darkness. Even when you know you might lose that person forever. But when the love is greater than the fear, there is a strength that seems to take over as you step into your connection within, that place where you trust that you are used as a divine instrument.
Let Go and Let God
As mothers, we are bound to our children by an invisible cord that keeps us forever connected. Many of our children are walking around trying to grow up and be responsible, yet their lives have been held back by the weakness they feel within because they truly do not believe that who they are is enough. They have learned to plug into the world for their strength and along the way have self-medicated with anything that could provide a temporary fix to instill a feeling of rightness. Who did they learn this from? It was us, of course, and how easy it is to blame ourselves? How hard it is to face the truth that here we have only one choice but to let go and let God take over because our job is to trust in a higher power that knows more than we will ever know?
To let go is to truly love like never before as we watch our children move into their darkest hours, and trust that where they go is needed for the evolution of their soul.
I am not here to tell you that love is easy. Sometimes tough love is what is needed, and as we trust completely in that power within, we can rise up and be that unconditional love that cannot for a moment join in with the insanity of the ego mind. Can we be committed to listening deeply to spirit leading us to express the truth and uncover the cloudy insane mind that constantly keeps us imprisoned in a life that is codependent and disempowering?
Love is within us, and it is not seen with the physical eye. It is expressed through our giving, our kindness and our compassionate hearts. Sometimes it is hidden and covered up by lies, where guilt and shame keep us separate from the world we knew as children. Yet through it all, love cannot be destroyed, for it is what is real. Yet in our collective and individual fear, we do not feel love. Instead this fear is expressed as anger, disease, pain, addiction, selfishness, and all kinds of violence to ourselves or others.
Life is hard sometimes and without love we live in hell, and we journey into darkness so deep inside that the only way out is to get down on our knees when our negativity takes over and our pain is unbearable. This is where I came to when I had no control over the choices of my son. I got down on my knees and asked God to take him into his loving embrace.
I did not feel an unimaginable peace come over me. I felt myself cracking wide open into every emotion and scary feeling of being vulnerable.
This is where I loved him enough to trust that God knows more than I could ever know. Here is where the unknown brought me to a deeper commitment to myself. I had to take magnificent care of myself and know that my life depended upon it. To rise up from the ashes of my past and see that the light of spirit could shine through my words and my expression like never before.
Countless times I could stand in this communion with my God to help a client, but now I had to be the one to take the hand of spirit to lead me out of my darkness. As the angel of death was walking close by with my son, I knew it was not up to me, but love, true love to conquer all. I did not know what the outcome would be, yet my strength was deeply rooted in that divine presence which never leaves. I was the one who left God or feared that I was not worthy. Maybe now was the moment I was to grow up and allow my wounded child to be held in the most loving way as spirit took over my life and touched my son with the truth that there is no guilt. The blocks were removed and dissolved in a holy moment where I could trust that the core of another was innocent and pure and fully able to choose life.
As my son wrote in one of his original songs, titled Mama, “You are the foundation of my castle,” as he remembered the belongingness of where he comes from. Now I hope his own songs will continue to speak to him until he embraces his own empowerment and the truth that he is valued beyond words.
He just left for a walk into the darkest place within, where he now is beginning to face the true realities of life. This is the greatest gift for all of us, to take care of ourselves and return to the sacred life that we have been given. To be ourselves and to take the torch that has been passed down through generations. To know that no matter what, God has not forsaken us.
As we feel our own challenges in our personal lives, we can gather and learn what is real. We can remember that we are not alone and that love does prevail. Moment by moment, we can step into our greatness and be the light that shines upon our path, reminding us that even through all of the darkness we can return to the truth that continues to set us free. Even when we distrust love, we can find our way back through faith and hope, which peel back the layers that bring us to trust. We are loved and when we can honestly love ourselves then, and only then, we can become the servants to help the world remember how precious life is.
Through the challenges I have faced, I am humbled and brought to my knees knowing that without God I am nothing. With my heart now wide open, I see the miracles that have touched my family and opened us all to what is most important. My son has risen up through the darkness and is beginning to choose life. One day at a time, as we all walk hand in hand with faith and hope.
As a mother, I stand with all parents as we learn to take care of ourselves so that we can love our children unconditionally.
This is true love as we shift from fear into the truth that we are all children of God, worthy and loved.
Frannie Hoffman is a spiritual intuitive, counselor and author. Through her counseling sessions, Circle of Light meditations, writings and seminars, she is deeply committed to inspiring and empowering people. For more than 20 years, she has devoted her life to helping others tap into their own spiritual power so that they can live more authentically. In her book “From Modeling Clothes to Modeling Self” she invites the reader into her personal and honest expression of life and Divine Spirit. franniehoffman@aol.com and www.franniehoffman.com