10 Tips to Simplify Your Life

Clearing out the clutter will help you feel more calm, happy and content.

By Tracey Ashcraft

We are conditioned in our culture to want more. More clothes, more food, more furniture, more gadgets, more money to buy more things….What if less is more?

As someone who left the corporate world and my steady paycheck, I had to figure out new ways to make life enjoyable. While I was building my private practice, I found that I needed to simplify my life. It didn’t happen all at once; it was a gradual process. As I began clearing out the clutter, literally and figuratively, I noticed I felt more calm and happy. Here are some tips to help you start simplifying your life today.

1. Get clear about your priorities. For example, you may realize that the most important thing for you is to spend more time with your family. Or you may discover that you are stressed because you can’t find anything when you need it, and this is making you unhappy. Once you hone in on what you really want in life, write it down.

2. Assess what is getting in the way of achieving your priorities. You may want to have more family time but see that everyone in the home is always running to meetings and practices. Days slip into weeks, and no one is spending more than a few minutes a day with each other. Make a plan to create time each week to be together. If dinners together don’t work, then get creative. Maybe you can have 15-minute “tell us about your day” time before TVs and computers go on in the evening.

3. Clean out the clutter little by little. Pick a section of your home (your living space) to de-clutter each week. Remember the goal is to simplify your life, and this can be a simple process, too. Start with cleaning out something small like one junk drawer. Once you have it clean and organized, you will need to commit to keeping it clean. If it was a junk drawer, then you will need to designate it as something else. It could become the drawer for pens and small pads of paper for lists. Over time, you will notice that your living space takes far less time to clean. You may also notice that you spend less time looking for things. All of this translates to less stress and a simpler life.

4. Only allow things into your home that are useful or bring you joy. We can easily get caught up into buying something because it was a great deal or we think we will use it “someday.” Here is your chance to be mindful of what you bring into your home. Managing stuff takes work and complicates our lives. As you clear out the clutter little by little, you will notice more room in your living space. Be sure not to fill it back in with new stuff. Before you bring something into your home, ask yourself, “Is this useful now? Will this bring me joy?” If you are unsure about the answer, then leave the item out there in the world for someone else.

5. Create systems that save time. I have found that many people hate the mail. It comes everyday, and it’s usually bad news. People who don’t like mail tend to avoid it, but that can create other problems and leads to complications. Here is a time saver for the mail. Open your mail as soon as you get it each day. Throw out junk mail immediately. Open bills and throw out everything but the payment coupon and the return envelop. Stick the payment coupon perpendicular inside the return envelope and stick it into a folder marked bills. Put cards, letters and magazines into a pretty basket. Go through the basket once a month and throw out anything you no longer need.

6. Empower your kids to help. Even small kids can help around the house. If mornings are hectic getting everyone ready and out the door, encourage kids to have clothes ready the night before. For smaller kids, install a clothing stacker in their closet. Some are even labeled with the days of the week. You or your child, depending on their age, can fill the stacker once a week with outfits for each day. Be sure to include, socks and underwear. Your child can choose which outfit they want to wear each day.

7. Learn to say no. This is an important tip if you are someone who easily gets overbooked. It can be hard to say no if you want to please others. If it is your priority to simplify your life, then it will be important to be able to turn down requests to volunteer, go to an in-home shopping party, or talk to an energy vampire on the phone for hours. This also may mean limiting time with people who drain life from you. It is ok and important to take care of yourself first. When you are rested and can notice space in your week, you will be in a better position to be there for your family and friends.

8. Limit screen time. Technology is fun and can help make our lives more enjoyable. That being said, too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing. It is easy to have: a work and a personal voicemail box to check; several email accounts, each with their own junk folder to manage; a Facebook account; Twitter feed to follow; news apps to peruse; e-magazine subscriptions to read; favorite TV shows saved on a DVR to watch; and Netflix shows to binge. Try to set up specific times to check important accounts each day. Once you have the time established, only check them at that time. Limit the amount of time you actually stare at a screen, and get outside for a part of each day.

9. Appreciate the simple things. Instead of surfing on the Internet for your next purchase, take a look at the things you already have. Discover them all over again. Enjoy making a meal with your family. On a nice day, make a pitcher of Arnold Palmers (half unsweetened iced tea, half lemonade) and invite a friend over to sit outside and talk, or take a walk in nature with your kids. Gather pinecones, shells or whatever cool things you find and put them in a large Mason jar for display. These are the moments that make up our lives. Keeping it simple actually is less stressful and more enjoyable than most elaborately planned events.

10. Have gratitude. We tend to not feel satisfied. This drive for “more” can complicate our lives. When you notice yourself wanting more, make a mental list of all that you are grateful for in your life. It is quite eye opening, and it can change your attitude.

Remember simplifying your life is a gentle process. You don’t want to take this all on at once or you will be complicating things more. Little by little, if you follow these steps, you will discover that—yes—your life can become simple. You don’t have to be a part of the rat race. You will be too busy enjoying your simple life.

Tracey Ashcraft, MA, LPC, is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Life-Purpose Coach and entrepreneur. After 10 years as an award winning sales representative, she earned a Masters in Counseling from Regis University in Denver, CO. She founded Best Life Therapy in 2004, a practice specializing in helping adults and college students to heal from toxic relationships. Tracey offers a down-to-earth, tell-it-like-it-is, sometimes humorous approach that helps clients create a life they are excited to live. She is a co-author of the book Transform Your Life. For more information visit https://www.bestlifetherapy.com.

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Talking Healthy to Unhealthy People

How to improve your communications skills in challenging situations.

By Lisa Hawkins

I’ve had to deal with unhealthy communicators for most of my life. At some point, my brain decided that I must be the problem. While others seemed to get validation for the games they played and how poorly they communicated, I was born to seek clarity, and, as a result, I became the black sheep. However, instead of letting it pull me down, it fueled my desire to turn healthy communication into a career.

One day, I realized that I’d done everything possible to encourage clarity and understanding in my interactions with others, yet some of my family members and coworkers just weren’t invested in better communications. Some days, I wanted to jump off a proverbial bridge to get some kind of separation from these maddening situations. Over time, I realized that it was stressful trying to clarify and communicate clearly with people who have an invested interest in misunderstanding me to promote their own agendas, so I learned to let go of the outcomes.

I realized that when you show up in an unhealthy environment with healthy talk, people will get angry. They will see you as a threat because their stories are being challenged, and, whether they consciously know it or not, they are kicking back because you aren’t playing the games they have set up.

When you find yourself in a similar situation, use your wonderful critical thinking skills to see it for what it is: You are not the problem. It takes the ability to step out of your emotions around the exchange and reflect on them to see the stories others are creating. Of course, there are lessons for you as well. Rather than trying harder to get your points across, step back and become a third-party observer. Keep in mind that your point of view is not being rejected for a rational reason—you are being rejected because you have shown up with a healthy perspective. For the dynamics to change, others must shift and deal with their stories being challenged—and most people are not willing to do that.

I know it’s stressful! I do! Some days, I’d rather chew off my arm than deal with these situations. Remember that you can’t change others. It’s also helpful to have the support of healthy people who understand you, and to learn to be your own best friend. Next, ground yourself and snap back into your own reality or perspective when you are challenged. The stronger you are, the less you will shrink energetically when confronted with individuals or groups that have unhealthy communication styles and stories. Tell yourself, “I am not the issue. They aren’t willing to step outside of their lines of reasoning and learn a better way.”

Shrinking down energetically means you feel smaller. The moment you feel inferior, the moment you feel wounded by a situation, others can sense it, and it makes it easier for them to chip away at you. If you look at successful people, you will notice that they stand up and become rock solid within themselves when challenged, and this is how they use each brick thrown at them to build a castle. This takes time and a lot of self-reflection. It takes a great deal of self-talk to build yourself up, rather than allow self-doubt to prevail.

Here are some common beliefs that will perpetuate covert aggression:

  • Here it is again. This keeps happening to me.
  • It’s got to be me. I’m the common denominator.
  • I can’t take this anymore. I need to get out of here.
  • I’m so frustrated I could die.

And some emotional states that will keep you stuck in a negative feedback loop:

  • Staying in confusion.
  • Allowing it to wound you.
  • Residing in perpetual worry.
  • Feeling inferior.
  • Engaging in and listening to gossip or negative talk.

This last one was a tremendous step for me in understanding that I needed to walk off once I said something if there was no positive feedback or active listening going on. This is a powerful tool.

Utilizing conscious communication and nonverbal gestures, such as standing strong to balance out the drama, helped me greatly on my own journey. I’ve learned how to stand up straight and communicate by looking people in the eye. Like everything in life, it’s a path of discovery with learning along the way. 

Here’s to better understanding!

Lisa Hawkins is a coach with 26 years of experience in personal growth and development, psychology and human behavior with an emphasis on relationships, which includes the most important one, with yourself. She helps those who want to have a more fulfilling relationship and life. When one works on one aspect of life that is holding them back, it trickles down to other areas of life. Love is the one thing we all crave at a deep level: We crave our true nature, our self-love, and to express that love to others. Lisa works with men and women to awaken the conscious part of themselves that knows how to love deeply. Find our more at http://www.ConsciouslyAwakeCounseling.com or on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ConsciouslyAwakeCoun/

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Write Your Own Spiritual Script

By Lisa Cedrone

When we look within, we can find our true path—the one that will lead us to the perspectives necessary to expand our consciousness.

There are as many different ways to experience and define the world around us—our reality—as there are people on planet Earth. That’s a lot of viewpoints!

When we stop judging others and relying upon external sources to provide all the answers, we have the opportunity to look within to seek personal truth. Here we can find our own unique spiritual script, the one we helped write for ourselves at a higher level to provide the necessary life experiences and vantage point to allow our consciousness to evolve.

In the field of journalism, we call this the angle of the story. As a writer, one needs to go out and collect information on a subject and then funnel it into a story from a purposeful and engaging perspective. During the learning curve to become a good journalist, many suffer from “kitchen sink syndrome.” They gather a large mountain of information and then feel that every tidbit should be included in the story—“everything but the kitchen sink.” What results is a body of work that rambles in so many directions that it never reaches a destination—a logical conclusion. The skilled writer, on the other hand, knows that less is more—when that less is a wealth of wisdom carefully mined from that mountain of facts, statistics and information. And a lot of blood, sweat and tears goes into the process behind the scenes.

Successfully crafting our own spiritual journey is much like learning the ropes to become a seasoned journalist. As a seeker of enlightenment—one undertaking a pilgrimage to understand the true nature of reality and how we co-create within it to accomplish our mission in life—we often become overwhelmed with options, opinions, rituals and instructions.

It’s a vast universe of information to explore—one growing exponentially thanks to the global reach of the Internet—and engaging in the research process also puts us at risk of developing “kitchen sink syndrome.” Perhaps we keep adding spiritual books to our library until it becomes so overwhelming that we cannot decide which ONE contains the instructions, or path, we should follow. There is always another source out there to evaluate, so we become perpetual seekers paralyzed from gathering data until our brain is filled to capacity with—you guessed it—everything but the kitchen sink. At this point, we can become confused and disconnected from the higher power guiding us (our soul, Higher Self, superconscious, God, guides, or whatever name we use). We may start to think that the answer is out there, instead of within our heart center.

So how do we find our true path—the one that will culminate in the perspectives necessary to expand our consciousness?

Albert Einstein reveals the answer for us: “The only source of knowledge is experience.

We can read and learn about spiritual paths, but until we actually walk one with integrity we will not step from darkness into the light of Spirit.

Don’t get me wrong: I am a strong advocate of comparative studies; it’s how I found my own personal truth. I needed to objectively evaluate many traditions to gain a personal understanding of how our universe operates and our purpose within it—but this was only my primer.

To truly achieve positive, life-changing results, I had to wholeheartedly engage in applying these fundamental spiritual teachings in a way that agreed with my deep heartfelt beliefs and leave behind the voices of others echoing through my mind.

What happened when I did this? I was able to evolve from disinterested agnostic to an appreciator of the human Spirit and the Divine. I stopped focusing on what I thought was wrong with every spiritual path and started finding the common threads that remained when I looked beyond cultural idiosyncrasies and dogma.

No doubt, I needed this exercise to find a personal faith that would allow me to walk a path of direct spiritual experience. The important point here is to stand in your own integrity and find your own truth within. Nobody else can do it for you.

Lisa Cedrone currently serves as the editor of Transformation Coaching Magazine and was the executive director of the C. G. Jung Society of Sarasota from 2016 until 2022. She is a mentor and teacher with a passion for sharing the experience, strength and hope from her own life-changing near-death experience and recovery journey. Lisa also spent 15 years as an editor and editor-in-chief for two of the largest business-to-business publishers in the United States. Her universal worldview changed following a profound near-death experience in 2002, during which she was given the opportunity to come back to our world and finish her learning journey in this life. For more information, email Lisa at Lisa@DragonFlyNation.com or visit https://www.DragonFlyNation.com.

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Coloring Outside the Lines

By Mary Boutieller

The capacity to learn is both an individual journey and accessible to everyone. From birth, we begin to take in information, survey our surroundings, and formulate ideas and truths. We learn from our parents, friends, school and experience. It’s a lifelong journey and one that never ends.

Think about that for a moment…to know that there is always more to learn, if we choose to do so. It’s an idea that is both fascinating and terrifying, if I’m being honest.

Fascinating because the world is our oyster! There is so much to explore. I could learn to speak a new language or play an instrument; I could dive into any topic and spend years learning more about it. The opportunities are endless.

Terrifying, because sometimes I think I won’t measure up. I know many people who make it look easy (even when it isn’t). They seem brave and smart and capable. For me, I tend to start and stop a lot when learning something new. I might tell myself that it’s too hard or I’m just not smart enough. It seems easier to stay in our wheelhouse than to venture out into unknown territory.

Yet I know that’s the ego talking. After all, I don’t have to become a concert pianist to pluck on the keyboard. I don’t have to be a great novelist to write a meaningful article.

I just have to be curious. I have to be vulnerable and open to the possibilities. I have to be willing to make mistakes, and be okay with coloring outside the lines of my neat and tidy life.

Healing, too, is both an individual journey and accessible to everyone. When we give ourselves the love we deserve, we find openings that we didn’t know were there. When we become curious, we find patterns that no longer serve us. When we slow down, we find that we have always been whole.

The beauty of this life experience is that we bring our own unique gifts and perspective to it, and can then share that with others. It doesn’t have to be perfected to be impactful. Who we are evolves each and every day. To know that we are continuously evolving fills me with awe.

Perhaps we could learn and heal and play more like children—a little more carefree and a little less worried about what others might think?

The other day I offered up to a musician friend that maybe one day I’d get up and sing with him. That terrified me a little…doing something like that in front of strangers…and it was thrilling at the same time. I’ll do it one day and, even if I sing off-key, my friend will smile and I will find myself coloring outside the lines.

Mary Boutieller is a Registered Yoga Teacher through Yoga Alliance. She has been teaching yoga since 2005. Her work experience includes 22 years as a firefighter/paramedic and 10 years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. Mary’s knowledge and experience give her a well-rounded understanding of anatomy, alignment, health and movement in the body. She is passionate about the benefits of yoga and the ability to heal at all levels through awareness, compassion, and a willingness to explore. She can be reached at: SimplyogaOm@gmail.com.

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My Grandfather’s Clock

By Jo Mooy

The sound of Westminster Chimes is hard-coded into my cellular memories. They trigger ornate family memories that go back to early childhood. Playtime came to a halt when my grandfather came to the formal living room to perform a weekly ceremony that, to us children, was as rich in detail as a British coronation. I can still see him, properly dressed up in island business attire of well-ironed shorts and shirt, a tie, and khaki colored knee socks with tassels on top.

His shiny brown shoes echoed on the polished hardwood as he approached the tall cherry-hued and aptly named Grandfather Clock that had a place of honor against one wall. He unlocked the glass front of the clock and from some mysterious place, pulled out a long metal old-fashioned key. He placed the key into each of the three holes in the clock face. Then he placed his ear against the clock as he wound the springs in each hole, stopping at the right spot. When finished, the key was tucked away, the glass cover locked and, looking at his brood of grandchildren, he said: “Don’t touch it!” Nobody was ever dumb enough to touch his clock.

He left a legacy with that clock because all his children and many of his grandchildren and great-grandchildren ended up owning their own Grandfather Clocks that chimed the same Westminster Chimes first heard in the late 1700s. Four distinct chimes are toned on the quarter, half, three-quarter and hour times. One could build a lifetime schedule around the Westminster Chimes, and the sound would always bring you back home.

My mother didn’t choose to own a big tall one, but rather a smaller camel-back mantle clock. It too governed our lives, always sounding and calling out the hours in the background. Sometimes you heard it, other times hours would pass as though it had no sound. But, it was always there in the background, tolling the time. Perhaps having these clocks was an acquired family tradition. Once, a guest came to stay for the weekend. In the middle of the first night he got up, tried to stop the clock, and ended up breaking the delicate mechanism. After the hysteria of such a violation of protocol and hospitality, he was never invited back.

My Grandfather Clock is also a camel-back mantle clock made from beautiful Colombian mahogany. When I got it 50 years ago, I chose a battery operated model for convenience, deciding the weekly winding ritual belonged in the nostalgic memories of my grandfather. What I didn’t realize, though, was that the “modern mechanism” for keeping time was cheap plastic that would have to be replaced every five years or so.

Recently, the clock began to chime the wrong hour. At 11 it chimed 4 o’clock, at 3 it chimed 7. I debated if it was worth the aggravation to replace the mechanism rather than buying a new clock until I saw the price of new ones. What I thought was a relic of another time was not true. It seems Grandfather Clocks are a “thing” and still very much in demand. I had to fix it.

Waiting for the parts to arrive from some offshore location, the house became strangely silent. What had been a constant toning in the background, noticed or not, was mute. The energy of the clock had gone. I’ve never lived in a house without Westminster Chimes, and not having the sound in the house was like being cut loose from a tether. What were these chimes that were so rooted in my psyche? What spell did they have on me?

The Westminster Chimes are more than just a sound in a clock. They are my family. They are comfort food like mac ’n cheese. They are Big Ben tolling the news when the Queen died. They track the time in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. They are countless remembrances in my mother’s house. They bring a smile when they chime in a British film. They are the ice cream truck cruising summertime streets. They are my Grandfather’s footsteps sealing a ritual into his lineage. They are a sure continuation of the legacy in the clock at my daughter’s home. They are the past and they are the future. Their four-part sound is my ever-present anchor.

Jo Mooy has studied with many spiritual traditions over the past 40 years. The wide diversity of this training allows her to develop spiritual seminars and retreats that explore inspirational concepts, give purpose and guidance to students, and present esoteric teachings in an understandable manner. Along with Patricia Cockerill, she has guided the Women’s Meditation Circle since January 2006 where it has been honored for five years in a row as the “Favorite Meditation” group in Sarasota, FL, by Natural Awakenings Magazine. Teaching and using Sound as a retreat healing practice, Jo was certified as a Sound Healer through Jonathan Goldman’s Sound Healing Association. She writes and publishes a monthly internationally distributed e-newsletter called Spiritual Connections and is a staff writer for Spirit of Maat magazine in Sedona. For more information go to http://www.starsoundings.com or email jomooy@gmail.com.

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Decoding the Tao

By Owen Waters

It is only through developing an inner connection that we will discover that which is behind all things.

Long ago, the first time I read the ancient Tao Te Ching (pronounced “Dow Day Jing”), I ran into so many apparent contradictions that I felt like I was going cross-eyed with confusion!

I have not been alone in that type of feeling. To most Western minds, the nature of the Tao is a huge mystery that makes little or no obvious sense. I ran into statements that suggested that the Tao was manifest as everything in the world and, yet, the Tao was nothing and nowhere.

Well, which is it, I thought, everywhere or nowhere?

The problem lies with the limitations placed on Western translators, as they are part of a cultural tradition which rarely teaches that there is an original state of unchanging, perfect beingness that lies behind even the Creator.

In the 6th Century BC, the sage Lao Tse (“Lay-OTE-say”) is said to have written the Tao Te Ching, which became fundamental to philosophical Taoism. The word Tao is usually interpreted as meaning The Way, although it can also mean The Principle or The Doctrine. However, none of these interpretations address its true nature.

Lao Tse was reluctant to even name the Tao, as giving it a name weakened its basic concept of silent unchangeability, so he actually preferred to refer to it as “the nameless.”

There are over 100 translations of the Tao Te Ching in English. One apt interpretation of the meaning of the title is, “The book of the way of Divine inner power.”

Translators to English find themselves forced beyond literal translation and into interpretation because characters written in the original Chinese often have multiple meanings and need to be distinguished in context with one other. Because of this, the original intent of the message may not even be immediately apparent.

For example, they face literal translations of sentences like this:

“Name named not eternal/unchanging name.”

It takes an understanding of the concept first before the meaning becomes clear. This passage points to the concept that the Tao is “the nameless” that encompasses the universe, while the universe itself is filled with what Lao Tse often refers to as “the ten thousand things” or the manifestations of the Tao. We give names to objects in the material world and that which is beyond all things is referred to as “the nameless.”

TheTao, by definition, existed before Heaven and Earth. It is said to be still, formless, standing alone and undergoing no change. It is both larger than the largest thing and it is within the smallest object.

The part that really trips Western translators up is the idea that the Tao is simultaneously perfectly still and yet constantly moving. Ideas like this are confusing enough to stop a logical mind, short-circuit some brain cells, and make smoke start to curl slowly up out of a person’s ears!

In Western culture, we generally lack an appreciation of the original nature of God as unchanging beingness. In our action-oriented culture, we think of the Creator as the One God. Typically, unless you studied Eastern philosophies or some branches of metaphysics, then you were never made aware of the state of beingness that is behind even the One Creator. The Tao is the unchanging, perfect consciousness which is behind all things. The Tao is pure, tranquil beingness, and it formed the Creator as the aspect of itself that would take action and experience change.

Taoism is not alone in studying the original, unchanging beingness behind all things. The same concept appears in Hinduism as the still, silent Brahman, or Godhead, behind the creative Trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva.

Chapter 42 of the Tao Te Ching gives the Taoist version:

The Tao produced the One.

The One produced the Two.

The Two produced the Three.

The Three produced all things.

This means that the unchanging beingness produced the One Creator. This aspect then saw that it was necessary (using Genesis terminology) to divide the “waters” of its consciousness into two aspects. These different and complementary aspects were the principles of thought and feeling. A third aspect was still needed, which was the principle of motion, which allowed the command, “Let there be light!” to create the original template of the universe. The three aspects of the triune nature of the Creator then worked in harmony to create the universe and all material within it.

Students of modern metaphysics are familiar with the concept of a beingness that is behind all things. It has been referred to as the Absolute, the Isness, the “I Am” Presence, and “the All That Is which is behind all things.” My own choice of words is Infinite Being. All of these terms refer to the same perfect, unchanging beingness that is behind everything.

The universe exists within the field of silent consciousness of Infinite Being, so its essence is within everything in the world. That silent Isness is the ground state of consciousness behind all life. Because of its silent, unmoving nature it could be referred to as being “nothing and nowhere,” at least to our physical sense of awareness.

The Creator and its creation exist within Infinite Being. Therefore, Infinite Being is within all things. The unchanging is within everything in the changing world. Yet, our physical senses will never detect this underlying, unchanging oneness. It is only through developing an inner connection that we will discover that which is behind all things.

The Tao is manifest as everything and yet the Tao, in the world of material senses, appears to be nothing and nowhere. So, the message of the Tao Te Ching is to develop an inner connection with that which is real and then the manifest world—this world which is unreal in comparison—begins to make sense.

Editor’s Note: Owen Waters has released the new book Soul Inspiration: Unleash the Power of Your Higher Consciousness to Dissolve Problems and Create a Better Life.

People often think that life brings challenges that make them victims of circumstance, that they have no power to change the important things in life. Nothing could be further from the truth! They have simply underestimated the infinite power of their divine potential.

This book guides you into the magical realms of your higher consciousness where everyday miracles are created!

Unleash your true potential: Dissolve difficulties, create a better life, and firmly connect with the deep sense of inner joy which is your birthright. Order your personal copy of Soul Inspiration in easy-to-view, e-book form at: https://www.infinitebeing.com/ebooks/soulinspiration.htm

Owen Waters is author of the Indie award-winning book, Spirituality Made Simple and a cofounder of the Spiritual Dynamics Academy and InfiniteBeing.com, where a where a free spiritual growth newsletter awaits you at https://www.InfiniteBeing.com. He is an international spiritual teacher who has helped hundreds of thousands of spiritual seekers to understand better the nature of their spiritual potential. Owen’s life has been focused upon gaining spiritual insights through extensive research and the development of his inner vision. He has written a spiritual metaphysics newsletter since 2004 which empowers people to discover their own new vistas of inspiration, love and creativity. Spiritual seekers enjoy his writings for their clarity and deep insights. Contact Owen via email News@InfiniteBeing.com.

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Cover

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Rising Star Coach July 2023: Kim Vang

Kim Vang, Stavanger, Norway

tiktok.com/irresistible_wifey_coach

Irresistible Wifey Coach Kim

Kim Vang is a Kurdish-Norwegian relationship coach shortly clocking out of his twenties. Relevant to his coaching practice, he was an A student in high school social subjects such as sociology, as well as an A student in video marketing in social media in college. He’s also been a Buddhist monk in Thailand, and he holds multiple CPD-accredited life coaching certifications. All in all, he has a deep understanding of interpersonal dynamics, behavioral psychology, and the mind.

What is your niche (coaching focus) and how did you choose it?

I help attractive women go from casual hell to commitment heaven. I started applying my coaching skills to this transformation after noticing most women want something serious, but aren’t getting it from men. It was sort of just assumed that men only want sex. But as a man, I asked myself why I didn’t want to commit to those I’ve been with. You see, I had been with casual partners that wanted something more serious, and, since I liked them, I was willing to give it a shot. Ultimately, I couldn’t commit to them, though, no matter how much I loved them. By combining my own experiences with insights from my background in both marketing (which is really just behavioral psychology) and life coaching (particularly cognitive behavioral techniques), I was able to identify both the key traits, skills and beliefs I needed to see before committing to someone, as well as how to develop those traits, skills and beliefs. Realizing the intense pain these women were going through, and that the traits, skills, and beliefs they needed were neither unattainable nor went against anybody’s core personality, I saw my opportunity to serve.

Who is your ideal client?

My ideal clients are attractive women in their early 30s. They don’t struggle to get one-night stands, flings and casual relationships, but they can never seem to get commitment from men they admire. Furthermore, my ideal clients are successful and happy with their careers. This means they want a life partner, not a breadwinner, and they have the mental bandwidth to focus on their love life.

What inspired you to become a life coach?

I wanted to become an entrepreneur. I took stock of what I knew best and realized I had dedicated most of my life to understanding and improving myself. It only made sense to create a business within the life coaching space.

How long have you been coaching?

It’s been roughly six months now.

How did you get your first client?

An acquaintance shared with me she was struggling to get commitment from the man she was seeing. He was just stringing her along, without making any effort to move things to the next level. She assumed it was his problem, but through a powerful, free coaching session, we created a breakthrough, an a-ha moment for her, that had her realize how she was keeping him on the fence. After she experienced the shift in their relationship as a result of her breakthrough, but still wasn’t satisfied, I offered to help her discover what else was in the way.

How has your coaching journey changed your life?

It has changed the lives of my clients. I now get to wake up every morning knowing that there are women out there in lifelong, deep, fulfilling relationships because of me, whereas before there were bad dates, bad sex, self-doubt, frustration, disgust, fear, and even a little bit of panic. I know they are better people because of the work we’ve done together, and that this will even have a ripple effect on their children if they choose to become mothers. And I know that there are countless more out there needing my help. Many people are rich, but few people wake up with such a strong purpose. Beyond this purpose, my clients do pay me handsomely, and I mostly coach them online. This has given me an unprecedented level of both financial and location freedom, taking me to Life 2.0!

What is the most challenging part of being a life coach?

Caring too much about people who aren’t coachable. I want to change the lives of everyone who wants what I offer, but not everyone is willing to do the work.

What is the most fulfilling part of being a life coach?

Actually, the most fulfilling moments must be when clients call me to share all about their shifts in how they’re being treated. After developing the key traits, skills, and beliefs I coach them on, it just attracts a totally different side of men. This, in turn, opens my clients to feelings of being worthy and special that they’ve never felt before… There’s this moment when they realize, even if they haven’t found the one, they know their dating life will never be the same again. They’ll never go back to just being somebody’s booty call.

What has been your most inspirational coaching moment, with a client?

A client was calling me to share about her shift, and she broke down in tears. I broke down in tears myself. Her pain was finally over, and it was all because of me.

What is your favorite coaching activity or exercise to do with clients?

My favorite is breakthrough coaching. By using the correct tone of voice and asking the right questions, I’m able to lead my clients to illuminate exactly the mental blind spots that have been holding them back. I can give my clients a list of what traits, skills, and beliefs they probably lack and how to work on them, but most of the time we’re not able to accurately assess ourselves. We may think we have a trait, skill, or belief when we don’t. And this stops us from doing something about it. Breakthrough coaching is also where I feel I add the most value. While there are undoubtedly many others who know what skills, traits, and beliefs one needs to attract commitment from a prospective partner, few are able to lead their clients through the personal transformations necessary to benefit from this knowledge.

What has been the most effective strategy for finding clients and/or growing your business?

So far I’ve been doing good via word-of-mouth. I’m now looking to take things to the next level by creating organic content on TikTok and paid campaigns on YouTube.

What advice would you give YOURSELF back when you first dreamed of becoming a coach?

What’s the biggest pain you’ve seen people with money experience that wouldn’t be there if they had different skills, traits, and/or beliefs?

What is the impact you want to make in this world?

I want to contribute to more love and freedom.

Is there anything else you would like to share with Transformation Coaching Magazine readers? 

My TikTok is brand new, so there might still not be any content there if you check it out. But if you would potentially want to work with me, or have me on your podcast or other media channel, you can reach me in my TikTok DMs [direct messages]. My DMs are open to all who follow me.

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Getting Started with Content Marketing

By Christine Morse

Starting a blog is one of the best ways to turn your coaching knowledge into sales.

The truth is that you have volumes of information to share as a coach, but it is hard to know where to start and how to find time to post, comment, and manage those relationships, right?

Here’s a tip: One of the best ways to start content marketing is a blog because it can share knowledge with your ideal client and set you as a niche leader on the topic. Blogs also improve search engine optimization (SEO) because search engines like Google are more likely to match your website to the people who are searching for your services if you have expanded content. Moreover, a blog can help you create great social media posts that attract your ideal clients and provide perfect content for your eNewsletters.

People want your knowledge, and the blogging process will help you to turn this knowledge into sales. Here’s how to get started:

The first step is to organize your thoughts. Start at the beginning. Pretend you are sitting with a childhood friend, and you are meeting for coffee because that person needs your knowledge and expertise. Open up a new document or grab your favorite pen and tablet. Clear your mind, remove yourself from distractions, and make sure you have at least 30 minutes available so you are not rushed. Take a deep breath and let’s begin.

A solid outline will set you on a path for success. It may take a few tries, but you need to break down your knowledge into simple steps. Remember, you are with your friend who needs your help. Give that person bite-sized pieces of information. 

At this point, your outline will contain only “headlines.” Nothing fancy, just a few words on that first step, second step, third step, etc.

1. What would you tell your friend to do first to address his/her challenge? Write this first step down; it’s going to turn into your first blog article.

2. What is the second step for fixing that person’s challenge? Write this step down; it’s going to turn into your second blog article.

3. What does the person need to obtain/collect/think about in order to improve their situation? Guess, what…this is another blog.

Keep going with bite-sized pieces of information that will help your friend solve their problem.  Again, it is best if you create the initial headlines for these articles first. Fill in all of the other details next.

Then list one or two bullets of information that pertains to this action so you can get this out of your brain and easily move to the next tip you would share. Now you are creating a knowledge marketing content outline!

With most niches or services, people can brain dump at least 12 topics of conversation or knowledge. Twelve is a great place to start because that means you can create 12 blog posts, which is one per month. Most guidelines suggest that you do one blog per week, but that is usually too much for a beginner to manage. That blog can break down into numerous social posts, so you will get a big bang for your effort.

And don’t forget to use words your friend will understand. Remember, your readers might not know your industry acronyms, so keep it simple and get to work!

Once you have this system down, you will be able to consistently stay in front of your ideal clients so when they need your services, you are top of mind.

[BOX]

Organize Your Thoughts for Content Writing

1. Create your outline of topics.

2. Share bite-sized steps.

3. Write short sentences.

4. Post blog and share to social media.

Christine Morse has over 20 years of experience in marketing, team leadership, client relations and sales with companies such as Herman Miller, Amway International, Spectrum Health, Avid Marketing, Wyoming Kentwood Chamber of Commerce, and several disability network nonprofits. She formed Avid Alliance in 2009, which is focused on helping people to understand how beneficial it is to use free and low-cost tools for excellent branding and business expansion. Christine excels at providing strategic counsel and is a business growth implementer with a focus on marketing and sales. She has helped thousands of people to learn about identifying their ideal client and competitors, realizing their strengths and weaknesses to determine which tactics will work best for quick business growth. She also donates her time and energy towards many nonprofit organizations which contribute to the sustainability of this community. Visit her website at https://avidmarketingalliance.com.

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Strategy Session

By Marla J. Albertie

Ten common challenges coaches face and how to address them.

On your journey as a coach, you will face resistance from clients as well as the need to address your own growth and development. Here are some of the most common challenges you will face and suggestions on how to move forward with confidence as you build your skillset.

  1. Lack of trust: Some individuals may be skeptical or hesitant to engage in coaching due to a lack of trust in the coach or the coaching process. Building trust through transparency, credibility, and confidentiality can help address this issue. Customer reviews help with each of the mentioned.
  • Fear of judgment: People may fear being judged or evaluated during coaching, which can hinder their willingness to participate fully. Coaches should create a safe and nonjudgmental environment, emphasizing that coaching is a supportive and developmental process.
  • Resistant to change: Change can be uncomfortable and challenging for individuals, leading to resistance against coaching efforts. Coaches can focus on helping individuals understand the benefits of change, addressing concerns and providing ongoing support.
  • Lack of self-control: Some individuals may feel that coaching infringes on their autonomy and control over their own development. Coaches can involve individuals in setting goals, allow for self-directed learning, and emphasize collaboration to counter this perception.
  • Lack of self-awareness: Individuals may lack self-awareness and struggle to see the value of coaching. Coaches can use assessments, feedback and reflective exercises to help individuals gain insights into their strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement. Always remember that coaching may require the need to approach each person differently.
  • Busy: Busy schedules and competing priorities can make individuals perceive coaching as a time-consuming commitment. Coaches can provide flexible scheduling options, integrate coaching into existing routines, and emphasize the long-term, time-saving benefits of coaching.
  • Lack of skills: Poorly executed coaching techniques can lead to negative experiences and outcomes. Coaches should receive proper training and development to ensure they possess the necessary skills and knowledge to deliver effective coaching sessions. Although certification is not necessary, it teaches coaches how to coach, while experience does not teach how to coach.
  • Lack of alignment with personal or organizational goals: When coaching is not aligned with personal or organizational objectives, individuals may view it as irrelevant or disconnected from their work. Coaches should work closely with organizational leaders or the individual to align coaching initiatives with strategic/personal goals and address specific performance or development needs.
  • Lack of follow-up: If individuals perceive that coaching lacks follow-up and accountability mechanisms, they may question its effectiveness. Coaches should establish clear action plans, provide ongoing support, and hold individuals accountable for their commitments.
  1. Lack of cultural understanding: Cultural factors and individual differences can influence perceptions of coaching. Coaches should demonstrate cultural sensitivity, adapt their approach to diverse backgrounds, and ensure inclusivity in coaching practices. Coaches should understand and know their audience.

It’s essential to note that addressing these concerns requires a tailored approach, as each individual and organizational context is unique. Coaches should assess specific challenges, engage in ongoing communication, and continuously evaluate and adapt their coaching strategies to meet the needs and preferences of the individuals they work with.

Marla J. Albertie is the founder Truth Speaks Group, LLC, a multi-media coaching company dedicated to creating solutions for integrating work and life to create harmony. Marla loves to read, is a concert and comedy show junkie and a cruiser for life. Follow Marla on Twitter @tspeakscoaching and IG @Tspeaksgroup. Sign up for the Truth Speaks Group LLC Newsletter at https://www.truthspeakscoaching.com/.

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