“As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought ‘Dogs are easily amused.’
Then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.” — Anonymous
The last columns have been about the many ways that Bummer BS affects happiness, and that Better BS is better. All you need to do is upgrade. Nothin’ to it, eh?
We each have an invisible helper who, in blatant puckishness, helps by hindering. Its purpose is to make us think the BS (belief system) actually works and preserve the status quo.
It’s the biggest obstacle to overcome, and once we get it working for us instead of against us, the rest is easy. I call it Elegant Glorious Obfuscation, and it’s widely known by its initials—EGO.
- Elegance makes it so easy for us to spot the BS in others.
- How Glorious is the security of our own superiority!
- We Obfuscate the fact that it’s as much in us as it is in those we observe.
Thus, the quote at the beginning of this article. Many of us become our metaphorical dog in pursuit of our tail.
The toughest task of the whole happiness trip is to recognize when you get caught up. You can then use that awareness and emotional energy to upgrade your BS.
That’s where Ego comes in. Most of the time, it hides in the “J”s* and shows up as control and defense.
Negative Thinking Works. In a past workshop, we had a client who had been alone and lonely for many years. We traced it back to her last breakup where she vowed, “I’ll never let anybody hurt me like that again.”
The strength of that emotion was such that she believed what she told herself then. She sabotaged her later opportunities for intimacy without realizing it.
Many well-meaning folks will tell you to stifle or “let go” of the negative feelings. You can do either, but next time the BS gets triggered you’re right back where you started. It’s like trying to cure a cold by putting little corks up your nose.
Emotional energy is powerful. When your words have a lot of emotion behind it, your mind accepts what you tell it without question. It works whether the emotion is ecstasy, terror, or guilt.
Yet Ego tries to protect you from the hurtful feelings. Forgive it, for it knows not how it works. The first big step to upgrade your BS is to recognize when it’s triggered.
Do you have a right to feel bad? Do you judge the people and situations as evil or wrong? Do you avoid facing a situation or wait for some outer circumstance to change it?
When you feel bad, you don’t feel love or peace. You limit your actions and your options. You seek control or escape rather than solution, and your emotional responses are automatic.
Yes, it’s that simple. Feeling bad is nothing more than not feeling good. Once you set Ego aside and realize you’re in charge of how you feel, the rest is easy,
Your Tools: Stimulus>BS>Response
- Your stimulus: A scene from your life where you got upset. Past, present, or future.
- Your BS: Your unconscious beliefs that make you feel bad.
- Your response: The emotions triggered by your BS.
- Better BS: “It’s OK if …” and “I’m OK even if…”
Once you get it that you’re 100 percent in charge of your BS, you can move on to ways to use these tools to the max. Don’t miss next month’s exciting episode.
The “J”s: Justification, Judgment, and Justassoonas (Procrastination). See the June, 2018, issue of Transformation Coaching for more details, and be sure you subscribe while you’re searching it out. It’s the best free offer around.
Gregg Sanderson is author of Spirit With A Smile, The World According To BOB. He is a licensed practitioner in the Centers for Spiritual Living, and a Certified Trainer for Infinite Possibilities. His earlier books were, What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens—Easing The Pain Of Divorce. His latest project is the New Thought Global Network, where subscribers can enjoy the best in New Thought presentations from anywhere at any ti me. You can see it at http://www.newthoughtglobal.org.