By Ann Darwicki
If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.—Dale Carnegie
When I was preparing to write my column this month, one topic seemed to jump out and stick with me: Who are you? The question continued to show up all week in different places. A video my sister-in-law posted, a conversation with my husband and a workshop I attended—all inviting and nudging me to reflect deeply. Who are you?
Not having an immediate answer, I sat with the question and waited for insight.
I took a trip to a local lavender farm for inspiration, hoping to become clear. Nothing. While at the farm, my husband and I came upon some stones with words on them.
He instructed me to close my eyes and pick one, and I pick trust. Interesting.
I have been grappling with fear a lot lately; I am recognizing its presence in so many of my daily thoughts and subsequent actions. It comes across as logical concerns, as needing to worry about being prudent with my decisions—but at the heart of it all is fear. It shows up as nagging my mother about a health concern, wanting my daughter to stay safe in her room instead of moving out on her own and experiencing all that college has to offer, a reluctance to try new things such as a water slide, rock climbing or riding a zip line.
I am noticing that fear plays a more prominent role in my life as I get older, shaping the choices I make. I wonder if this is a normal progression as we begin to age, as we contemplate the reality that we may have more days behind instead of in front of us? While I am not sure of the answer to that question, I am sure that fear is holding me back in the guise of keeping me safe so that I am not fully embracing and living life. The fear that I feel when called to try something different is causing me to feel stifled and bored as I deny new experiences in my life.
That night, after returning from the lavender farm, I have a dream. I am at the ocean. I see a squirrel leap from a distant tree, fly through the air and land in the water. It almost makes it to the shore when a wave carries it back into the ocean. The squirrel becomes battered by the waves and disappears. I search for the squirrel to rescue it, and then I see someone emerge from the ocean and gently place the squirrel on the shore.
I immediately sense the deeper meaning and hear the words: Who are you? Are you a helpless victim, afraid of the waves in your life, or are you the squirrel who leaps from the tree full of faith and trust? What belief will you embrace and embody—fear or trust?
My answer and insight are delivered by a series of coincidences. Then I continue to gain clarity as I understand the true paradox of my conflicting beliefs—that I am a victim of life’s seemingly random events and that I am a divine being always guided, always protected. We all hold both potentials simultaneously, but only once can be expressed at any given time.
Who are you—a victim or divine being?
Ann Darwicki RN is a Certified Professional Life Coach who completed her training at the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. She is the owner and founder of Whole Being Coaching, specializing in coaching others to live the life of their dreams. Prior to becoming a life coach, Ann obtained as Associates Degree in Nursing from Delaware Technical and Community College. She has 25 years of nursing experience caring for women and children, with a life long affinity for holistic medicine. She is a Reiki practitioner and Nurse Luminary. She is also a freelance writer. She can be reached at 302.750.0574 or by email at adarwicki@comcast.net.