By Marcia Bender
There is not one individual I know, including myself, who has not at one or more times in life had an overwhelming feeling of “panic” when confronting oneself with the question, “Is that all there is?” The feeling seems to sneak up on us when we least expect it. It usually occurs when things in our lives are going fairly well. It happens when we have achieved our goals and come to the realization that we HAVE what we set out to get, but somehow it doesn’t seem enough now or not as important as it did when we were planning our lives. This dissatisfaction can occur at any age, but it seems to be more frequent and constant as one grows older. When people are young, it seems as if they have years and years to achieve what they “think” will make them happy. However, as the years pass by, they look at the reality that there is much less time remaining to reach goals and dreams.
Many people who think they are depressed, even diagnosed as depressed, are really experiencing disappointment, dissatisfaction, and disillusionment.
Some personalities are more likely to experience disappointment than others. It is normal to feel this way, but it becomes a danger when it becomes chronic disappointment. All of our lives contain periods when we are not feeling great about our circumstances. We should expect some disappointment—should acknowledge the disappointment—but we must keep it in perspective. Sometimes the feelings of failure are unfounded. We just expect too much. That does not mean that one should not have high expectations, but the expectations must be kept realistic! The goals must be attainable!
It is most important to realize that NOTHING IS PERFECT!
A wonderful partner, parent, or child will have character flaws. WE ALL HAVE CHARACTER FLAWS! A career that is going well will have its flaws, and this applies to most, if not all, situations in a lifetime. We did not choose to enter this incarnation to have everything perfect. We accepted the fact that we have lessons to learn and some of the lessons are more pleasant than others. Another thing that we must try to understand is that “other people,” those who seem to have the “perfect life” don’t! I am certain there is not one person who is totally satisfied with his or her life. So, what do we do about it? Remember, this is a column that addresses the spiritual side of human existence, and the spiritual approach does help to put things into perspective. Here are some “Marcia Tips” (my students call them Marciaisms) on how to deal with the negative feelings.
First, we must realize that we are spiritual beings having a human experience. There are four levels of human existence: the physical/material, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual. A person can never be totally happy if these four levels are not in balance—not in relationships, career, family, or any other aspect of life. We are not born with the four levels of existence in balance. Indeed, the most difficult thing we can hope to achieve is to get them into harmony.
The major cause of “depression” is the fact that we are in a physical body and the physical/material aspects of life are the things we believe are most important to us. We think that if we have a great career and earn lots of money, happiness will come. So we get the prestigious job, the big house, the fancy car, etc., and we still wake up in the morning and ask, “Is that all there is?” We know that love will make us happy. So we find the man or woman of our dreams, have our children, and we still wake up in the morning and ask, “Is that all there is?” We could go on and on with this, but by now I am sure that you get the idea. We set our goals, fulfill our dreams for this physical reality, and find that we are still not happy. This is normal, as nothing can make us happy but ourselves. There is no magic bullet, no magic wand, and no magic potion. In the end, there is only the confrontation of self and how to deal with it.
Consider the Tarot card, Key 10, The Wheel of Fortune. It is called the ultimate card of fate and karma. It tells us that life is like a wheel, turning round and round, into infinity. There are times when we are “up” on the wheel of life, and wouldn’t it be wonderful we were always on the top, if things were always the way we wanted them to be—but this is not realistic. We came into this incarnation to learn lessons, and where would the learning take place if there were no challenges? Nothing in life is stable or permanent, and we must accept both blessings and challenges for the growth of our Soul.
The one thing we can be sure of is change.
There is a need for strength and faith in facing the many changes that life brings. When the changes are positive, it is easy to be happy and to give thanks. It is when the difficult changes occur that courage and wisdom are needed. We are often the cause of the changes, both positive and negative, but there are times when we feel as if we have no control over our circumstances. Sometimes the changes are so profound that we feel unable to deal with them. We need to have the faith and acceptance that there really is a reason for everything and, even if we do not understand, we will recover from these situations because strong Spiritual Forces surround us and will always guide us IF we ask for help.
The best advice I can give for dealing with negative feelings is to stop and reevaluate.
Take the situation and put it into perspective. Look around and count your blessings and realize that there are many others who have things much more difficult than you do. There is an old American Indian saying, “I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” As you attempt to balance your life, health and well-being, take time to give thanks for your many blessings. Try not to agonize over what you do not have, and be happy with what you have.
We now return to the original question: Is it depression or disappointment?
Whichever it is that is causing you to feel bad, it is how you deal with it that is most important in the final analysis. I KNOW that Strong Spiritual Forces surround you. Do you?
And remember, Knowledge is the Greatest Power, so Walk in the Light
Marcia began her career as a school teacher, working with preschool through inner city high school students. She has worked with all aspects of Metaphysics for over 40 years and specializes in Tarot and Numerology. Marcia’s clients and students are in every state and throughout Europe. Marcia has taught over 400 students to “read” the Tarot for the purpose of self-guidance and to use the powerful symbolism of the Tarot to reach higher levels of spirituality. Her column, Spiritually Speaking, originally ran for 8 years in Attitudes Magazine. Email marlou2000@aol.com.