A Conversation with Myself

By Artricia James-Heard

Hello,

It’s been a long time since we’ve spent some time together. I have missed you, and now that you are here I have so much to tell you, but I know we will not get to it all.

The most important message I have for you is that I love you, and I am so happy you came back to me. So let’s enjoy our time together. Let’s catch up. Let’s have a conversation. I love you so.

Love–Your entire life has been about love. What a powerful word, the meaning complex to some, abstract to others. Its message is what your journey back to me has been about. You have been afraid of love, you have marveled at its look of joy, the warmth of its happiness. You tested love’s qualities, its faithfulness, and survived its pain. You welcomed love as your friend, enjoyed its companionship, but then you left it behind. You closed the door to your heart. I have missed you as I waited patiently on the other side of this door.

Thank you for returning to open the door to your heart, to let me back in to embrace you with my love—the love you have kept from yourself. It’s not a bad thing, just lonely. Lonely and quite frustrating to know I’ve held all this healing for you inside your heart. Waiting.

For you first, others second.

Responsibility for others was always your biggest priority.

That’s how we got separated. You forgot how wonderful, how awesome, how original you are. Your love is great. Your love matters. I am back to remind you it is totally alright to love yourself first. Let’s get back to our happiness so you can be awesome in loving others.

Your children, family, and friends all wait for you to love yourself. It is not selfish; it is the right thing to do because you, my friend, are so worth all of this joy! Really, you are.

You just forgot. Our conversation is your gentle reminder. Let’s go for it! Let’s get back to loving you!

How does that feel? Quite amazing huh?

I like it too! Let’s keep going, there’s more.

Letting Go—“The Struggle” is so overrated—you know that and so do I. The struggle to pay the bills, keep the house clean, raise the children “right,” afford the “right” lifestyle, the clothes, the shoes…You know, all the “stuff” that keeps your mind off of loving who you are on the inside of your wonderfully amazing heart—those incredible distractions that keep you away from telling yourself the truth.

The struggle is a damn trap. Everyone knows it, but the strong grip of fear kept you in its vice until you faced the reality that there is so much more to life. So many amazing experiences to have. So many terrific people to know. So much good food to eat, drinks to drink and so many memories to create.

Today you chose to remember the love in your soul, to trust its message more than the appearance of false security – you chose to feel good, remove fear, and let go.

The struggle was over for us when you left the toxic relationships that tore your heart to shreds. After the tears and the ultimate acceptance of those days, you learned the painful lesson that you are worth so much more than those moments of pain, disbelief, and sheer disappointment.

Believe me! You did the right thing—you believed in the truth of love in your heart, you pushed on, took the hard steps to leave, start over, do the hard work of talking to strangers and getting answers to your questions, find your way to redefining your love, and leave the struggle of ignorance behind.

You let the struggle go. I am so glad you found a way to trust the message in your heart and to believe in your worth, as a human “becoming” you are worthy of a very good life. A life that starts with a renewed sense of peace, everyday, filled with laughter, good music, and in a beautiful environment that reflects you. Your days filled with real imagination coming to life, accepting and knowing there is so much more and you can have it all! Again.

This is your reward, your gift to yourself for finding your way out of that vice gripe of FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.

To be happy, to love again. I’ve said I have missed you so much! Are you beginning to see why?

I appreciate you leaving the bad habits behind, the excuses, the hurtful comments, the people who were not the best for you. Quitting the jobs that weren’t a good fit and refusing the ones that could pay the bills but didn’t make your heart sing. You have always wanted so much more for yourself, and with my help I believe you will begin to receive more blessings of love, especially now that the bad times are over. My friend, it is nice to see you smile again! You are truly beautiful! Really.

If It Ain’t Broke

Remember when you learned what worked for you? Doing things “your way”with “your style?” (It worked for me too!) You owe no one an explanation for why you do things the way you do. It works! Remember when you wanted to create miracles?

Let’s go back to doing what works for you:

  • Writing down your dreams and cutting out beautiful pictures.
  • Getting excited about your life, getting excited period!
  • Talking about love.
  • Standing up for yourself and your values.
  • Holding people accountable for how they treat you.
  • Not settling for less than what you know you can have (in a nice way, of course).
  • Being good to yourself—even when no one around you understands.
  • Knowing this is your life and as long as you love it that is all that matters.
  • Doing what you love and loving what you do because you know it is possible.

Remember to keep trusting yourself, not your friends or the well-meaning people in your life. Keep on doing what works for you. It’s all about you! That’s a good thing to remember.

Who am I Now?

You are the same person you have always been. It has just been a few years since you allowed yourself to recognize your greatness. You have a lot to love. You got past the darkness in your mind, the hurt in your heart. You left behind the emotional weights of pain that held you down, you stood naked before the heat of the sun to warm your heart and soul. You slept in the arms of your love, resting with a smile, dreaming of the new you—the woman who has returned to her heart, to her love.

Thank you for this time together. I am so grateful to have you back. I have missed you.

I look forward to our days ahead together. You’re Awesome! I love you!

Let’s do this thing with a Big Smile and loads of love together. Ready? Let’s Go!

Artricia James-Heard retired from a successful career in the United States Navy in 2013. She worked in program management at Morehouse School of Medicine during a short break in service. After leaving academia she returned to the military to finish her career. She is the author of Depths of Love poetry collection, articles and technical manuals. She has owned businesses in computer training, professional organization, administrative business consulting, beauty consultant, finance management and credit improvement. A certified Toastmaster, Artricia lives in New Tampa with the love of her life Michael, their three children and two furry friends. Contact her at artriciajamesheard@gmail.com.

This article is a chapter from the book Transform Your Life! Expert Advice, Practical Tools, and Personal Stories, written by 60 real-life heroes and experts and available at Amazon.com, BN.com, www.Transformation-Publishing.com and all ebook formats.

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