How to Get Honest with Yourself

By Sarah Sparks

When was the last time you were honest with yourself? When I say honest, I mean brutally honest about your progress, your accomplishments, where you are headed, and who you want to become. Before we jump into the progress and accomplishments, and where we are headed, let’s take a step back. Look at the grander picture and ask ourselves, “Who am I now?”

It’s the beginning of the year, the perfect time to evaluate who you are right here in this moment. The truth is, so often we (and yes, I am including myself in this realm) jump to conclusions and make assumptions about our progress before we even know where we are starting.

Who are you right here and right now?

When’s the last time you looked into the mirror to see who was staring back at you? If it’s been awhile, well, you aren’t alone. Ninety percent of the women I guide and work with have not ever looked into the mirror, into their eyes, to see who is staring back at them.

Once we stop to ask ourselves, “Who am I now?” we are then able to begin, just BEGIN, to understand where we want to go from here and who we want to become. You may be asking yourself, “What questions should I be asking to find the answers? How do I find out who I am now?” A significant teacher in my life gave me a set of questions as a guide to help me discover where I was.

As a New Year’s gift to you, here are the most important and helpful questions to ask yourself:

  • Do I have a clear understanding of how much I spend compared to how much I make?
  • Am I extremely happy? Am I positive and are my thoughts about myself positive?
  • When I need to talk to someone, do I have people in my life I can reach out to who offer me positive, constructive support, and who are honest with me?
  • Is my work and professional life fulfilling to me or does it drain me?
  • Do I honor my own needs before I meet the needs of others?
  • Do I have hesitations, reservations, or problems asking for exactly what I need and from whom I need it to get help and get what I need?
  • Is there anything I am dreading or avoiding in my life?

These questions will help you identify where you are in various aspects of your life. From relationships to finances to spirituality and self-care, you will be able to recognize where you are right now. These questions may seem overwhelming and too complex. Remember that this is just a thought and it will pass. Allow the overwhelming-dreading- to-look-within feeling to release.

Stop. Breathe with me now. Let’s breathe in for five counts, hold, and breathe out for five counts. Simply be honest with yourself when answering the questions. The more honest you are with yourself, the more you will get out of this exercise. If you are unable to be honest with yourself here, privately, without anyone judging you, when will you be honest with yourself?

Do yourself a favor and answer these questions honestly, truthfully, and then commit to making the necessary changes to live the life you desire and deserve. If you don’t know what changes to make or how to make them, then ask me. I am here to help. I am here to listen and guide you, your soul, to where you desire to be and aid you in becoming who you’ve always intended to be.

Relax. Breathe. And know, I am here. I am listening. Just for you.  Namaste, friends. Namaste.

Sarah A. Sparks, MPA, is the speaker and relationship mentor for Create The Spark, LLC. Sarah has her BA in Human Resource Management, a certificate in Training: Design and Development from the University of Northern Iowa, as well as a MPA from Drake University. Sarah worked as a leader for two local governments in Iowa from 2004-2010, in the capacity of an Operations Transit Supervisor and Safety Coordinator, and as a Parks and Recreation Director. While serving these communities, Sarah mentored and trained numerous employees. Through this experience, she discovered the belief in one’s self is what limits someone from creating the life she desires. From that point onward, Sarah made it her mission to guide those who want to be mentored to create the life they desire by having the confidence and trust in themselves to make the right decision and say what they need to say, with love! Email Sarah at or visit


This entry was posted in Tips and Tools. Bookmark the permalink.