By Noelle Sterne
When you reach a certain age, you may be tempted to abandon some of the dreams you feel you haven’t fulfilled. True, age may be a barrier to specific goals, such as winning at Wimbledon. But age doesn’t have to prevent or limit you from experiencing the glories of tennis, or whatever is your passion.
Barrier Breaking
Do you feel it’s too late? Ha! A few role models:
Herman Cain, founder of Godfather’s Pizza also had great success as a speaker and author. But when he held his 15-minute-old first granddaughter, he asked himself what he could do to contribute for a better world. So at age 51, Cain entered the ministry. Four years later, he founded and continues to oversee centers throughout the country to help at-risk young people in academics, social skills and spiritual development. At 58, he ran for the Senate in Georgia, and at 66 he ran for United States president. Now he continues to contribute as a radio host and columnist.
In 2010, teacher and theater director Myrrha Stanford-Smith landed her first book deal—at age 82. The publisher, admirably age-unbound, signed her to a three-book deal.
An Arizona man, Sy Perlis, in June 2013 set a new world record for weightlifting. He started the sport only at age 60, began competitive lifting at 86, and holds the world record for his age group. He’s 92.
In a book called Second Wind: The Rise of the Ageless Athlete, Lee Bergquist recounts many sagas of no-limits individuals. One, Don McNelly, completed more than 150 marathons—all after the age of 80.
I relate the feats of these people—and I could go on—not to make you feel inadequate, ashamed of your marathon TV rerun-watching, or despairing that you’ll never get off the sofa. These stories are not for recrimination but to demonstrate limitlessness. We never need to accept conventions of age, notions of impossibility, or even satisfaction with accomplishments.
We don’t need to succumb to the apparently incontrovertible beliefs that so many people catch like the flu. They all begin with “You get to be a certain age and…
- You’re supposed to think only of retirement.
- You’re supposed to start getting all kinds of ailments.
- You’re supposed to become weak, vulnerable, unsteady, frail.
- You’re not supposed to entertain the idea of doing all kinds of things, much less break new ground.
- You’re supposed to give up your Dream and wail, “It’s too late!”
How to start? Let’s take an example. If you dream of being a ballet dancer, granted, you probably should have started training at age 5 1/2. Now, at 42—paunchy, saggy, tired and stiff—you can stand on your toes only to reach the supersize box of salsa chips.
What can you do today to follow your dream? Here are some suggestions.
Do I Still Want This?
1. First ask yourself this: Do I still really want to involve myself with ballet? Or is it a residual “should” from old voices?
Be honest. No one is listening or commanding you. You’re not late for your lessons when you’d rather be reading. But if you yearn to become hands-on, I mean toes-on, your answer is this: You bet your tutu!
2. If this is your answer, and you’re a little scared, remind yourself of age-breaking models.
Here are a few just from the dance world. When most ballerinas retire in their thirties, at 50 Nina Ananiashvili is still dancing in starring roles in difficult ballets performed by the State Ballet of Georgia (Republic of Georgia) to rave reviews, for which she continues as artistic director. Martha Graham was performing at 75 and choreographed her 180th work at 95. And would you believe an 82-year-old ballerina? Norwegian classical dancer Grete Brunvoll trains daily and gives regular public performances.
For More Courage
3. Look too at many other people in other fields who continue developing their talents. They’re not paying any attention to the barriers and stereotypes. Actors James Earl Jones at 82 and Angela Lansbury at 87 (the star of the addictive Murder, She Wrote) toured in 2013 in a production of Driving Miss Daisy. At 88, Lansbury then returned to the London stage in the spring of 2014 to rave reviews.
Clint Eastwood at 84 continues to produce and direct stellar films. He said in an April 2013 interview that he dreams of making films for two more decades.
The world’s oldest yoga teacher, Tao Porchon-Lynch, with over 400 students in New York City, teaches regularly and travels extensively—she’s 95.
In the fall of 2012, award-winning novelist and author of The Caine Mutiny, Herman Wouk, published another blockbuster, The Lawgiver. He was 97 and continues strong at this writing.
What Would You Really Love to Do?
4. Back to you and ballet. What would you really like to do to be around ballet—to see, hear, feel, smell, even taste ballet? List the qualities, outcomes and feelings you want such activities to give you, even if you don’t yet know how to accomplish them: “Use my talent, use my passion and love for ballet, feel like I am contributing.” Keep this list in a special place (laminate it). Read it daily.
Your Big List
5. Now, make a list of ballet-related things that give you those soaring feelings:
- Observe classes, take a class (gulp), assist a dance teacher, bring your kids and their friends to ballet performances, read and lecture about ballet, start a blog for late-blooming balletophiles.
- Go visit places: classes, theaters, rehearsal studios, libraries.
- Talk to a dancer, a teacher, a student. Ask all the questions that occur to you.
- Offer help.
- Decide how you’ll present your Dream to others—vita, video, essay on what you’d like to teach, an electric elevator pitch, a list of your helping skills.
- Share your dream with your family and friends and ask for their support. Warn them not to laugh (they might even share some secret dreams of their own).
- Create a physical space for your dream project, even if it means first shoveling out the spare room or setting a bonfire to your desk.
- Make a schedule for yourself of hours/days/moments that you’ll devote to your project—even fifteen minutes a day and one task.
Move It
6. From your version of this list, start working with the smallest, most attainable thing—or the biggest, most exciting one. Depending on your passion, you may want to make two lists: one physical—pulling on tights (groaning optional) and taking a class—and the other educational/inspirational—researching, interviewing, or writing about dancers, choreographers, or great teachers.
7. Divide your physical and inspirational lists into manageable and possibly sequential activities. Physical preparation may start with stretching exercises, water aerobics, or yoga—or you can screw up your courage and actually take a dance class.
8. Your educational/inspirational list might include reading specific books about dancers (and especially those performing at later ages), watching videos of dancers (Nina Ananiashvili’s are truly inspiring), talking to dance instructors near you, meditating daily and seeing yourself (also daily) doing what you love to do in this field.
BEGIN
9. So now, remember George Eliot’s heartening quote “It is never too late to be what you might have been.” And BEGIN
Choose one item from either or both lists. A physical action is great first because it will get your heart going—physically and emotionally. Then pick one thing from your educational/inspiration list and you’ll know, with growing excitement, you’re achieving your dream.
If you need another boost, memorize these frequently quoted words of Unity poet James Dillet Freeman:
Dare to be what you are meant to be
and do what you are meant to do,
and life will provide you the means to do it and be it.
Continue
- Keep visualizing your dream.
- You do deserve it.
- Forgive yourself along the way.
- Treat yourself gently.
- The future is yours to create.
- You do deserve the future you desire.
- And keep twirling . . . er . . . going.
10. See also Noelle Sterne, Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books, 2011).
Noelle Sterne is an author, editor, writing coach, and spiritual counselor. She has published over 300 pieces in print and online venues, including Writer’s Digest, The Writer, Women on Writing, Funds for Writers, Children’s Book Insider, Transformation Magazine, and Unity Magazine. She also writes for Australia’s longest-running spiritually- oriented magazine Living Now. Noelle is an invited regular blogger on Author Magazine’s “Authors’ Blog,” where she explores writing, creativity, and spirituality: http://authormagazineonline.wordpress.com/ With a Ph.D. from Columbia University, for over 28 years Noelle has assisted doctoral candidates in completing their dissertations (finally). Based on her practice, she is completing a handbook for doctoral students in difficulties integral to completing their work: Challenges in Writing Your Dissertation: Coping with the Emotional, Interpersonal, and Spiritual Struggles. In her 2011 book Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams (Unity Books), Noelle draws examples from her academic consulting and other aspects of life to help readers release regrets, relabel their past, and reach their lifelong yearnings. Her webinar about the book is on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=95EeqllONIQ&feature=youtu.be. Visit her website: www.trustyourlifenow.com.