By Natalie Amsden
Here we go again… another New Year’s Resolution. Haven’t we learned by now that a declaration to change because another year ticks on the calendar is an ineffective form of commitment? The excitement and hope that surrounds the symbolic progression of time gives us all a sense of possibilities for renewal, re-alignment, and change. Yet, all too often, within weeks, or sometimes months, of January 1st we find ourselves back to living our old news. It’s disheartening, but we brush it off—we tell ourselves,
“It was only a New Year’s Resolution; no one keeps those anyway.”
We’re so used to failing to keep our resolutions that we don’t even usually notice when we rescind on them. The problem is that any time someone moves forward with a desired change, already expecting it to fail (even unconsciously), the outcome is predictable: more of the same. Now, I recognize that most of us genuinely believe we’ll really quit smoking this year, our eating habits will be forever changed, and we’ll finally stop the patterns of disharmony in our relationships. We feel inspired, we’re ready—but we’re fooling ourselves.
So, if you find yourself filled with anticipation and motivation as this New Year is upon us, or if you yawn with indifference about the whole New Year’s Resolution thing, I urge you to consider whether you are REALLY ready to make changes in your life.
Are you tired of repeating the same patterns?
Are you sick of feeling less-than-healthy or less-than-happy?
Are you genuinely seeking positive change?
Are you really ready to take control of your life and make the changes on your “list” this time around?
If so, start by being real about the fact that the changing from one calendar year to the next takes place on an ordinary day. Then, decide to do things differently and stop believing in the collective delusion that changes on a whim will be lasting.
Ok, I’m done ranting now. Here’s the inspirational part! You CAN change. You CAN stick to your commitments. You CAN create an amazing life! The GOOD NEWS is that there are simple keys that unlock the powerful potential within ALL New Year’s Resolutions.
The 7 Secret Keys to Keeping Your New Year’s Resolution:
1. Understand the cycle of change: All attempts at changing one’s life are subject to the same cycle. Until we recognize it’s happening, we keep repeating it.
Discontent – When we want to change, it’s because there is something we don’t like about our life. No brainer.
Breaking point – Either we reach an “enough” point that triggers the decision to change, or we experience another New Year’s Eve.
Declaration – We decide what we’re going to change and declare our intent.
Fear – Immediately after our certainty of desire, our fears are triggered—both of change itself and of the repercussions of our desired change.
Amnesia – Our repression and denial coping mechanisms set in as the anxiety about changing overshadows our vision of WHY we want to change, which leads to us slowly forgetting why we wanted to change in the first place
Backtracking – We go back to what’s comfortable.
Inevitably, we find ourselves discontent once again. Our level of pain continues to increase until we reach another breaking point, this time even more extreme and more painful.
This cycle will continue until one of two things happen: extreme pain or self-honesty
2. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself, are you making this change because it’s what you’re “supposed” to do this time of year? Are you making it because others think you “should”?
3. Know what you want. Before you decide to make a change, ask yourself what you REALLY want. If you smoke and you don’t REALLY want to quit and you’re only doing it because you think you “should”, it will never work.
4. Dream bigger. If you’ve tried making changes in the past and been unsuccessful, it may be that you don’t see enough benefit—you’re not motivated. Maybe your dream isn’t big enough. Sometimes going after a bigger change easily takes care of smaller ones.
5. Let go of fear of change. Most people hate change, but change is happening to you all throughout your life anyway. It’s inevitable. Resisting change causes many illnesses and perpetuates many unwanted patterns. Not only is it inevitable, but you’ve survived and thrived due to change before, so what is there to be afraid of?
6. Let go of attachment to your problem. Yes, there’s a part of you that likes your problem. It gives you identity. It connects you to others. Are you really ready to let it go?
7. Make a plan of ACTION: Action is the most powerful sign of commitment. Take the first step—immediately. Give your unconscious mind a powerful sign that you MEAN IT this time. Then, within a week or two of New Year’s Eve, sit down and make a plan of action that will ensure follow through. After the first step will be another, and you need to anticipate what that will be.
Failure no longer has to be an option. Neither does doing nothing and staying stuck where you are. Before you go making another New Years resolution you probably won’t keep, take some time in self reflection and be brutally honest with yourself. Is your desire for more, for fulfillment, for happiness finally strong enough that you are willing to encounter the obstacles and endure the fear? If so, congratulations, you will succeed—you are ready to transform!
Natalie Amsden is the Publisher of Transformation Magazine. She is a transformation life coach, specializing in conscious personal evolution and discovering your purpose. Natalie is also a Motivational Speaker, presenting on topics such as Enlightened Relationships, Personal Transformation, and Entrepreneurship. Connect with Natalie at www.transformationservices.org.