By Lisa Beaumont
My heart pounded. Confused thoughts swirled in my head as early morning fog engulfed me, swallowing me whole. I struggled with the truth that was trying to emerge, dark as the throat of a giant snake, gripping and choking me. There was no escape. No, no, no!!! How could this happen….!!
The sun had yet to shine on that fateful morning. I stood breathless, my legs weak while the reality I was trying hard to deny invaded me, stealing sanity and reason. The little boat floating free on the still, moonlit water told the tale. Only moments before, I had discovered a concise and controlled note left by my husband of 13 years explaining why he was making the final and greatest decision of his life. If there could be any doubt about what he meant, an undeterred floating vessel bellowed the shocking truth. He was gone, by his own choice and by his own hand.
The moments, weeks and months that followed were filled with soul-searching questions and the searing pain that those who survive the loss of a loved one to suicide inevitably suffer. The only light I saw was the occasional flicker of understanding and acceptance I sometimes glimpsed through the healing process.
Now, as the passage of time brings clarity, I am free from the frustration of obscured vision. The clouds of an egocentric perspective roll away and I see the shining star behind it; illumination that clears the path for a more perfect view of who I really am.
The avenue to my entry into a new life, wholly committed and purpose-filled, is not one I wish to walk again. But my heart sings with gratitude as I joyously accept the newfound sight I have longed for all my life. No more do I see with tear-filled eyes nor do I struggle with challenges that seem bigger than me. The pain of the past is gone and this time it is gone forever.
I speak with people often about my new view of life as I share with certainty that we are intended to live happily and with purposeful intention. I offer that we are each born to play a role designed to fit perfectly within a grand design already determined by forces we cannot see. Yet, our connection to an infallible Source is constant, reliable and sure.
When darkness hides the path we are to walk, we can be comforted by the knowledge that the way is still certain, the Source still constant and reliable.
It cannot be otherwise for we are one with that Source, an extension of Divinity. Acceptance of my life as it is led me to a higher perspective, a view I could not have imagined. Through determined effort, I slowly began to see a greater truth, one that restored me to wholeness and sanity. It took a total loss of control, willingly given as I waded through layers of grief, to give Life the freedom to create new experiences that bring freshness every day.
This new reality finds me always walking the high road, away from past patterns that do not serve me, that do not represent the truth I now fully embrace. I am as a phoenix, rising slowly from the ashes of the past, forming more perfectly everyday as I pursue my ascent.
I have always believed that we are meant to be happy. The road to a joyous life for me often wound around and through formidable challenges. My belief in happiness as our sole purpose never wavered. Through the purifying fires of life, my faith has been purged. The shadowy cloak of ego no longer hides from view the radiant rays of an inner light now set free to brilliantly shine.
No matter the circumstances in our world or my own life, the knowledge of who I am fills me with serenity, the foundation for happiness. I find myself reaching reflexively for greater freedom, learning to create dreams that enable the greater good. I know this creative process is embedded in me. It leads me ever upward, expanding as I go. This upward spiral is the hallmark of empowerment.
We have nothing to offer our world but ourselves.
These precious gifts, offered freely and simply, made fresh and clean through commitment and desire, have the power to change the world.
We are not the tiny, defenseless selves we think we are. There are no obstacles or challenges with power over us. Indeed, no power is greater than that of pure Love. There is nothing to fear as we walk forward into the dream lives we are creating through belief and trust. I am a witness to the benefits of a clear choice to see life differently and to walk the winding road that leads to heaven on earth.
I have resolved the issues of my past. I now gratefully accept the mission with which I am entrusted; to extol the value and the virtue of happiness unending. It may seem a message too good to be true and many may choose to disregard it as fantasy. But the story of my life validates it. The songs I sing today reflect a truth I gladly accept:
“Leap for joy and shout the news
The weeping past is gone
Forever sing triumphantly
This, your glorious song”
Lisa Beaumont is a psychic medium and a transformation life coach and teacher. Her organization, Center for Advanced Spiritual Learning, was created as a vehicle to share her gifts in an effort to help others advance to the next level of spiritual development, no matter where they are currently. She helps people negotiate transition situations through coaching, readings and classes. Contact Lisa at lisabeaumont@ymail.com or on the web at www.mycasl.com.