Allowing RELATIONSHIP Success with The Power of Freedom!

By Terez Hartmann

FREEDOM and Loyalty

What I am about to share may indeed turn what most people believe about love and successful relationships on its ear, so get ready for a love-evolution!

For centuries, we have been taught that a successful romantic relationship or marriage is built on a foundation of commitment. But what if the true key to love longevity and co-creating a relationship which inspires joy and ongoing expansion for both parties is actually FREEDOM?! Imagine what life would be like if your significant other, or anyone who is an important part of your life, were to tell you the following and truly mean it:

“I and I alone am responsible for my happiness, so you are allowed to be, feel and do whatever you need to at any time. I always want you to feel free to be who you are and follow your bliss, no matter what.”

A relationship with these ideals at its heart is one that has the power to thrive in ways that few people can even begin to fathom! For example: When I met my husband many years ago, I was indeed one of the most free-spirited human beings on the planet! As a matter of fact, I was belting out a rock song while standing on a table, wearing short-shorts, shiny boots and a bustier the day he walked into my life! After more than 10 years of marriage and 14 years of friendship, nothing about this has ever changed! In fact, there is no one on the planet who is a stronger advocate for my personal freedom than John, and because of this my loyalty to and respect for him, along with my dedication to “us,” is deeper and stronger than anything I have ever experienced! By giving me my freedom—or better said, not obstructing my freedom—I gladly do the same for him and consider our relationship to be one of the most, if not THE most, precious and sacred things in my life.

How much more joy, fun, love and true loyalty could you experience if you were to embrace and encourage The Power of FREEDOM in your relationships?

Love = Expansion

On the other side of the equation, have you ever noticed that any effort to try to control another human being’s behavior in any way (or vice versa) rarely results in a response of genuine affection or love, and the more you try to control said person (or they you), the less either of you want to stick around? Just like having to micromanage your employees at work or being on the receiving end of a micromanaging boss is one big drag, there are few things that suck the life out of a relationship faster than the need to control. Yes, compliance could be accomplished by issuing ultimatums and such, but having someone’s compliance in lieu of their love is a very different thing.

Control is based on limitation and lack, while love in its purest form equals expansion!
Given this logic, doesn’t it make sense that to attract, allow and nurture a healthy, feel-good relationship based on love, one of the greatest gifts you can give another human being—and yourself—is the gift of FREEDOM?

If you love someone, set them FREE, baby!

FREEDOM and Monogamy

If monogamy is a preference that is truly shared and agreed upon by both parties, such as in the case of my husband and I, no control is needed. Yes, in essence, we are still free human beings who could choose other liaisons, but monogamy is a choice that was (and is) easy for us to make, because we have found that focusing on intimacy with only one person allows our love, passion and creativity to deepen with each coming year.

In my experience, when you have all you ever dreamed of by your side, while feeling that you are free to be all that you are with another human being, there is no good reason or incentive to wander!

The Bottom Line on Allowing RELATIONSHIP Success with The Power of FREEDOM

In this world of infinite variety, people do marry or take part in relationships for many different reasons—and no one has the right to call those reasons right or wrong—but overall, most people really do like the idea of participating in a romantic relationship that enhances, rather than detracts from or complicates, their lives. Isn’t the idea of being in a relationship supposed to be about adding more fun, passion and overall joy to your life?

If you are going to add a relationship to your already busy life, why not let it be a sanctuary and playground?!

The journey IS the destination, so if both parties feel free, while also feeling utterly loved and adored, the destination and ongoing journey of that relationship is the very thing that all happily ever nows—and afters are made of!

…And speaking from the standpoint of someone who once thought that no person could ever hang with the likes of this free-spirited chick, when I opened myself up to the idea that perhaps I could have BOTH true LOVE and FREEDOM, along came my prince charming.

Here’s to YOUR love-evolution and to living fabulously FREE, happily ever NOW—and AFTER!

“We are free to be everything and all that we areAlways free to follow our own guiding starBoth individuals, yet move together as oneFeeling every day our adventure has only begun…”—From “My Holiday” ©2010-12 TTRH

Terez Hartmann is the President/CEO of ALLOWING Your Success & BEYOND!, LLC, author of the book ALLOWING Your Success!, a professional Keynote Speaker, Retreat and Workshop Facilitator, Coach, Recording Artist, Show Host and Singer-Songwriter.  For more about Terez, access to FREE Allowing resources and “Words, Music, Adventures & BEYOND for LETTING Good Happen and ENJOYING the Journey!” visit To order her book, ALLOWING Your Success! visit

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