By Gregg Sanderson
I have a friend with remarkable insight. Because of his domineering father, he became a people-pleaser. His mother made him afraid of women, and a broken romance caused him to retire within his shell.
He sabotages himself in every possible way, and he knows exactly how it all came about. His self-analysis makes boring conversation, but he’ll still share it whenever he can. His slogan is, “I’m workin’ on it,” which is another way of saying “I haven’t done anything about it.”
Another friend also has remarkable insight. She recognizes her tendencies toward people pleasing so she becomes more self-expressive. She knows her parents weren’t ambitious, but she sets her goals higher and presses on. Her slogan is “So what?”
Which one, do you think, is more fun to be with?
Answer… The funniest line in this column has been censored by the editor, cursed with good taste.
In the World of BOB we have a slogan, “Principle is not bound by precedent.” It’s just another way of saying “So what?”
In other words, whatever happened in the near or distant past or in your childhood does not need to affect the way you are now, but it can cripple you emotionally if you use it to justify yourself. Misery loves justification even more than company.
There are only two possible responses to any justification: “That’s why…” or “So what?”
Daddy was a drunk
1) That’s why I’m a souse.
2) So what?
The one I love left me for another.
1) That’s why I’ll never love again.
2) So what?
A character in a book ate an apple.
1) That’s why I must atone.
2) So what?
My granddaddy was a horse thief.
1) That’s why I’ll never amount to anything
2) So what?
Somebody who looked like me but wasn’t me once persecuted somebody who looked like you but wasn’t you.
1) That’s why I live with generic guilt.
2) So what?
I fell in love with my mother at age four.
1) That’s why my life is a mess
2) So what?
My father was a super-achiever.
1) That’s why I’m a failure.
2) So what?
I’m too (Check one or more) tall, short, fat, skinny, young, old, shy, aggressive, nice, mean, self-centered, desperate, aloof… Whatever.
1) That’s why I can’t make it with the opposite sex.
2) So what?
We’re always at choice with our justifications. What’ll it be, suppress them or address them?
I’m workin’ on it.
So what?
Gregg Sanderson has a rare view of the metaphysical universe. He traveled the road from Christian Science through Judaism, Agnosticism, Atheism, Living Love, Psychic Development, Spiritualism, Teaching of the Inner Christ, all the way to the International Centers for Spiritual Living where he is a licensed practitioner. He is the author of What Ever Happened To Happily Ever After? and Split Happens – Easing the Pain of Divorce. Gregg’s latest venture is Spirit With A Smile — The Way It Is (Unless It’s Something Else). Email to gregg@spiritwithasmile.com.