By Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed.
As I write this column I find myself on a cross country trip through Route 66 with my family. Several months ago I was talking to my father about his bucket list (things that he wanted to do while he was still in physical form). He stated that he had always dreamed of going through Route 66 to see the history and landscape of the United States. Now that he is in his 70’s we discussed it and put the intention to do a road trip this summer, and here we are. This journey has allowed me to get to know and understand my own roots and offered many lessons that I wish to pass down to my daughter and future generations.
The journey thus far has taken us through Las Vegas, Sequoia National Park, Santa Monica California, the Grand Canyon, several Indian reservations, Sedona, several smaller towns in California, Arizona, Texas, New Mexico, and down to New Orleans. In Vegas I met several local residents from diverse places in the world. Two of them stand out; one from Ethiopia and another from Iraq. They both shared with me their unique life story and how they ended up living in Vegas. To my surprise, they both expressed that they have lived in many places around the world but that Vegas was the only place where they felt acceptance.
They explained that they had friends from all walks of life and that if they wanted to date someone from a different ethnicity that in Vegas people just viewed them as two human beings. They both explained that for the most part prejudice and racism is non-existent in Vegas. They said that there are so many people from around the world that people just accept each other and honor their uniqueness of culture and history.
It is interesting that in a city that tourists come to for gambling and good times the locals stay for acceptance.
One of my favorite parts of the journey was dancing with the Navajo tribe in a ritual “friendship dance” in the Grand Canyon. While holding hands and chanting they described our interconnection with everything and how through our dance we were creating the energy of the circle of life. They further explained that:
Navajo ceremonies serve to pass down information and intentions to future generations.
They told us how much of an honor it was to have us join our energy with theirs and how much they appreciated our interest in learning about their culture and wisdom. In reality, I was the one that was honored. It was a profound emotional experience for me as I learned a truth that resonated in my spirit. I could feel the interconnectedness they spoke of. I find it interesting how the Navajo’s ceremonies and traditions were created and maintained in order to pass their wisdom onto the next generation. The Navajos inspired me to create my own traditions so that I may do the same.
Further along the journey we met a lovely, 72 year old lady in Holbrook, New Mexico. We talked to her for about an hour while we ate at her restaurant. She told us stories about how when she was 7 her mother became gravely ill and she took the responsibility of caring for her younger siblings and making sure that everything was taken care of. She reminisced with us how at the age of 11 she had to start coming up with $150 dollars a month to pay the rent. She said it was challenging to take on the responsibility but that it made her who she is today. She made a commitment at that age to create a different environment for herself and her family for future generations. Thirty years ago she opened a restaurant. The restaurant gave her the opportunity to purchase ten investment properties and helped her family start over twenty businesses in their small town. She was more than successful in her own right, and she had a heart of gold.
She gave us gifts of petrified wood as she told us more stories of how what she has created she has been able to help many people in her family, her town, the local Indian tribe, as well as total strangers. It seemed that the more she had the more she wanted to give. She was our server at this small restaurant.
She did not work at her restaurant because she needed the money – she did it because she liked serving in every sense of the word.
It was her perspective of serving others; determination, humbleness, and being open to abundance that helped her create today what some would dream impossible. She stated that more than anything she wanted people to see that nothing is impossible if you are willing to follow your dream, see life as a learning experience, be grateful, and share your self with others.
Throughout the trip, every time we experienced something new my dad would express his appreciation and state: “Who would have thought that a “Jibaro” (a person who grew up on the mountain) from Comerio, Puerto Rico (a small mountain village without running water, paved roads, or electricity) with 13 siblings would get to see or experience this!”
Our ample time on the road gave my dad many opportunities to share stories about his past. Interestingly, through the stories of his life I learned that he shared the same valuable principals that these great teachers have taught me along our journey. We talked about the lessons we have encountered and what additional wisdom we would want to pass down to the next generations.
What we took away from this journey is amazing memories and the following lessons:
Acceptance: Make peace with and allow things and people to be as they are.
Oneness: Connect to others, especially those who offer a different perspective, and you will feel the interconnectedness of all things.
Tradition: Value the importance of tradition within all cultures and families, as our remembrance of our collective past ensures important wisdom continues onto the next generation.
Determination: Follow your dream and do not let anything stop you. You are a powerful creator; you just have to come to acceptance of this.
Appreciation: Learn to appreciate the small things in life. You will find more joy and at the same time open your self up receiving.
Service: By giving to others we participate in the cycle of life – as energy flows to those you serve it circles back to bless you.
Compassion: Approach situations with compassion. Set your ego aside and allow our higher self to make decisions.
Passion: Live life with passion and bring life to everything you touch.
Honesty: Be honest with yourself and others and you will live as your true self. Like they say: honesty will set you free!
Forgiveness: Learn to let go of your baggage. It is one of the most critical steps to a life of peace and happiness, as well as one of life’s most challenging lessons.
Share Your journey: Share your journey and become open to being both a teacher and student of life. Life is collaboration, and the more we share with others – our vulnerability, our joy, our challenges, and our journey – the more we all learn and grow. Like they say, you do not master anything until you teach it.
I am grateful that my dad and this journey have instilled these principals within me and that now I have the opportunity to pass it forward to future generations. What would you want to pass down? As my dad states,
“Once you are gone you live through those that you touched.”
Whether you have children or not, you impact future generations with every interaction you make with others, just as the people that I have met on this cross country trip have planted seeds that I will carry to future generations.
Joeel A. Rivera, M.Ed., Ph.D. (ABD) holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling and is currently completing his dissertation for his Ph.D. in Psychology. Joeel’s extensive career as a relationship coach includes certifications in P.R.E.P, a 30-year research-based program for couples, Nurturing Father’s curriculum, and Parenting 21st Century. Contact Joeel at joeel@transformationservices.org