By Randall Moore
Most challenges in life involve making choices between two options. Something happens and we find ourselves standing at the proverbial fork in the road considering our next step. Do we go right or left? Do we act or delay? Do we gather more information or make a leap of faith?
The idea of seeing the circumstances of our lives as a series of forks in the road is the product of linear thinking.
It’s a dominant mindset because most of us were raised by linear thinking parents in a linear culture. A related idea is our tendency to “label” everything as if we actually know everything. The reason we are “human label machines” is it gives us a sense of order. If I can label something then I don’t have to deal with it. I can save my brainpower for other things like my business or the boat sale tomorrow. Unlabeled people and things can be threatening, which is why our mind races to create a definition. Unfortunately, our speed in labeling often trumps our objectivity and accuracy.
Being linear and label oriented is not all bad. Both tendencies help us survive. I’m a scuba diver and I follow a linear process in jumping off a boat and exploring life beneath the surface. As far as labels go, being able to identify what everything is helps us process information more rapidly. The problem is when we trust our labels (opinions) to a point that they become stereotypes—limiting us and others.
I did the Avatar program about eight years ago, and I spent nine days training my mind to catch myself labeling everything. At first, it all seemed silly, but eventually I realized how much my life was on automatic pilot. Even people who are quick to talk about their consciousness might be surprised to learn how much their labeling nature defines their sense of reality.
Psychologists refer to the tendency to reduce our circumstances to two choices as either/or thinking. It’s either this or that. She loves me or she doesn’t. You are with us or against us. You are pro-American or anti-American. Have you ever wandered why politicians cannot propose serious solutions to major issues? These people are stuck in either/or thinking. Most of them cannot contemplate a third or fourth choice that might entail compromise or a new direction. Not having choices beyond their prescribed party position diminishes their creativity and value to the greater good. We would be better served if more politicians were independent because that would suggest receptivity to alternative choices.
What many people learn with the help of therapy and their life experiences is that most circumstances offer multiple options. The most creative people among us presume these choices and their tinkering often leads to new products, new industries and new paradigms leading to positive change.
I recall an artist friend in San Diego who decided to make tumbleweeds his object for creative expression. This culminated in one of the most amazing holiday displays I’ve ever seen. A round and squatty tumbleweed forever changed my picture of what a Christmas tree is supposed to look like. More than that, it made me question what other symbols we use as absolutes and what the consequences are to our ability to think creatively.
My favorite part of the story is that after Christmas my friend carefully removed all of his ornaments, picked off every silver ice cycle, opened his door, and gave the little fellow a well done nudge before sending it on his way. We both laughed as we watched the tumbleweed rolling down the road to its next adventure.
The problem with either/or thinking is it limits our perspective. This is why creativity is so important to humanity and why art in every form has intrinsic value. I’m not talking about commercial art, but rather our everyday experience of color, texture, objects, and other art elements. It’s the relationship each of us has to everything we encounter with our senses. That’s the art that matters most because it’s transformative. It’s an aspect of reality we create through our awareness and reflection.
I have seen amazing art around the world, but the greatest treasure is the art my son Bryan made growing up in Minnesota. His collection of doodles, drawings, early water paintings, and a small ceramic holder all sit quietly in a box in my home. The collection is more meaningful to me than those precious things in The Louvre. I peak inside the box, but mostly, I’m touched by a connection I feel to our artistic natures. It’s a connection that links everyone.
Creativity expands when we realize the fork in the road is only one perspective and possibly an illusion.
Perhaps the fork is more like a spider web with many paths linking us from where we stand to what’s possible tomorrow or the next day. It’s okay to go into reverse or take the path a second time. Maybe it’s not even about this or that, right or wrong, good or bad, or even learning to live a less prescribed life? Maybe it’s about the simple joy of the journey?
Randy owns Triple 3 Marketing based in Sarasota. He’s a long term advocate for positive change having owned a couple community magazines since 1999. Randy sold Positive Change Media in April 2009 and took a year off before launching Triple 3 Marketing. In addition to helping business owners, he also provides private coaching. Randy has a masters degree in communication arts from the University of Wisconsin at Madison where he studied persuasion and attitude change. Contact Randy at randy@triple3marketing.com.