By Emil Nazaryan
When we give without expecting anything in return and come from an attitude of gratitue, our lives will experience a profound tranformation for the better!
The holiday season was something I looked forward to from 2008 to 2013. It wasn’t because of the reasons you might imagine; my motivations were somewhat selfish. At the time, I was a property manager, and I knew that most owners and residents would be sending me holiday gifts in the form of checks and cash. I was sure to drop down a couple of lines in a “thank you” card and send it back to them—to show my appreciation. That should make them feel good. I can’t send them any gifts, though. After all, they have all the money, not me…
Surely, I’m not the only person who has embraced this mindset. I imagine many people live with “poor me” written all over them, dreading their powerlessness and victimhood in this life. I even dare to imagine that they sincerely believe this to be true. I know I did—for sure. They’re not to be blamed. They have been programmed this way, probably from early childhood by their parents and environment. They don’t know that an alternative attitude exists; maybe it does for someone else, maybe…but not for them. How about you? Do you feel this way?
When the year 2014 rolled around, things were starting to shift within me. Small and barely perceptible, new and unfamiliar patterns were beginning to emerge. These changes came after reading The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. You may have heard of it, as it was also made into a popular movie. The book is about the law of attraction. It talks about how expressing gratitude for certain things can help you manifest more of those things in your life.
Since I wasn’t very happy or satisfied at that point, I decided to give Rhonda the benefit of the doubt and try it out myself. On a sunny day sometime in February on my lunch break, I started feeling gratitude for all the job interviews that I have had in my life. I would remember all the “right answers” that I gave, all the strengths I thought I exhibited during the interviews. This gratitude was heartfelt and sincere. Magically, within two weeks of that experience two new job interviews landed on my lap. One of them turned into a better job opportunity, so within a month I had a new job with better pay!
Uplifted by this experience, I decided to read another book by Rhonda Byrne called Magic, which is entirely about gratitude. The application of the action steps outlined in the book further fertilized the soil of my soul. The changes in me grew bigger. Gratitude helped me overcome some of the negative emotions that had been holding me down, including guilt, regret, jealousy, fear and indifference. This may sound abstract to you, but trust me, as someone who had been dominated by those negative emotions all of his conscious life before the big change, practicing gratitude was well worth a try.
Now, think about yourself for a moment. If science invented a fancy new “emotion meter” and you attached it to your heart and monitored your emotions 24 hours a day, what emotions would you observe? Which of your emotions are running your life? Remember, the “emotion meter” has a 100 percent accuracy rate so you can’t lie to yourself. Is it anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, worry, fear? Or is it love, joy, gratitude, peace, serenity and faith?
Here is the big surprise…the “emotion meter” has been invented! In fact it has been around since the beginning of time. It has always been available, even if you weren’t aware of its existence. Your life today, at this second—your results, your experiences, your surroundings, your environment—is the most accurate measurement of your emotions. You may be sure that if your life is dominated by negative events and people, it is a direct result of the emotions and feelings you have been dominated by up until today.
Thankfully, the Creator of this “emotion meter” has also given YOU the power and the tools to change your results. Right now, at this moment, perhaps for the first time in your life, you are getting access to the remote control of the “emotion meter.” There are many channels you can tune in to, including gratitude, love, joy, appreciation, etc. But today I want to introduce you to another action channel that can change your life forever.
I learned about this principle from Napoleon Hill in his famous bestseller Think and Grow Rich. It’s the law of increasing returns, also known as the law of sowing and reaping, the Golden Rule. If you render someone a service that you are not expected to render, and do it in a positive, pleasing mental attitude without expecting anything in return, the law of increasing returns will bring back to you more of the kind.
The beginning of 2015 is when I started intentionally applying this principle. Daily, I would ask myself: “What good can I do to someone who doesn’t expect it today?” Answers started flowing in. Even though financially I was in a pretty tight space, with full faith and trust I decided to implement my decisions. I started leaving $1.00 tips to cashiers at 7-Elevens and grocery stores, paying for people behind me at the drive throughs. On Valentine’s Day I bought a bouquet of red roses, broke it apart and left a single red rose on every desk at my office before anyone got there in the morning. I started genuinely complimenting everyone, especially people who are not used to it (drive through attendants, construction workers, janitors, etc).
I’ll be honest, this was all quite uncomfortable at first, but people in those situations were always caught by surprise, dazzled, sometimes speechless…and always beautiful! Those smiles, those grateful looks, and tears on some occasions, were priceless. I realized that even if the law of sowing and reaping was false, even if I didn’t get any sort of positive return, the unspoken joy, happiness and gratitude I experienced as a result of these silent acts of unconditional kindness were more than enough compensation. I bring up these examples not for bragging, but in the most humble way to give you examples of how actions so small and seemingly insignificant can profoundly affect the lives of others and yours.
I was a changed man. No longer was I making projections of the checks and cash I was going to receive. No longer was I looking forward to receiving at all! All I could think about was giving. Who can I give to? Who can I help and how?
Magically, within two to three months of starting to intentionally apply the law of sowing and reaping, blessings started pouring into my life. Again, out of nowhere I got a wonderful job offer, my sales started increasing, and my wife’s business started to flourish. To top it all off, our baby girl was born on December 21, 2015, right on time for Christmas as a testament to the power of giving, the power of doing good, the power of feeling good, the power of being good. Could all of these blessings be coincidental? Absolutely not! They couldn’t be as nothing of the sort happened to me in my 33 years of life before this big change in attitude and perception.
Today you have received a magic key for success in life. It is giving intentionally, giving unconditionally, giving wholeheartedly, without an expectation for anything in return. Don’t think of giving just as giving money, which you might not have. Give a smile, give a compliment, give your time, give your encouragement, give your service, give your love, give your support, give your appreciation and gratitude. Give more than you think people deserve. It matters not whether the receivers will appreciate you or thank you. That’s secondary. Remember, you’re not looking for anything in return anyway. Just keep giving. Not only will you never be the same again, but your life will never be the same again. Guaranteed!
So start today, start small. Ask yourself the same question Benjamin Franklin asked himself every morning: “What good shall I do today?” Then make it more specific, “Who may need help but doesn’t expect any?” And wait for the answers. They will pop into your head. All you’ll have to do is listen to them then act!
Emil Nazaryan is a motivational writer and a contributor to the monthly Motivational Corner column of HR Realtor Magazine. He has undergone a spiritual transformation which has led the way to sharing the insights he has experienced with the others. He is well acquainted with all major spiritual traditions of the world, but it is the direct experience of the essence of these teachings that is responsible for the altered life outlook and the motivational articles that stem this. In his daily life Emil is a successful REALTOR and he resides in Norfolk, VA, with his wife and two children. Contact him by email at emil.rw@gmail.com.