What is your niche (coaching focus) and how did you choose it?
I genuinely believe that we don’t need to solely focus on one niche. As an online course creator, I’ve created several online courses/books on different topics such as: body language, lie detection, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), personal development for kids, presentation skills and teaching skills.
Who is your ideal client?
Motivated individuals who want to get skills that will make a difference in the lives of others.
What inspired you to become a life coach?
I’ve always been an active listener since a young age. I listened to my friends, colleagues, and family without making any judgments. And then, a couple of years ago, life coaching started to become popular in France. I listened and watched TED Talks and conferences, which blew my mind away, but the people who inspired me to become a coach and an expert in Non-Verbal Communication and Lie Detection were Dr. Paul Ekman, Dr. David Matsumoto, Joe Navarro, my mentors who encouraged me to go that way. I cannot thank them enough because they allowed me to think of the way I interacted with others, and they also made me ask several questions on authenticity and the way we communicate with each other. Non-Verbal Communication has been part of my everyday life since that moment. I wanted to go further and started to learn about Lie Detection too. It is said that about 60 percent of people can’t go 10 minutes without lying. But why do we all lie? Do we want to keep a secret from someone else? Did I just say a white lie, or am I deceptive? Lie detection allows me to understand that not everyone can be your friend. In fact, we all have frenemies in our circle of friends or acquaintances. I aimed to discover who they were and stay away from them. It was the same with manipulators or toxic people. Reading someone’s body language opened a new world to me. I’m not saying that I’m constantly doing it, but it is a skill that I possess now.
How long have you been coaching?
I guess I’ve been coaching my entire life. My friends and colleagues have always come up to me. I guess at the time, even though I didn’t have any coaching skills, I was an active listener.
How did you get your first client?
As an educator, I wasn’t only teaching my students, but I coached them to succeed, get their self-esteem and confidence back, and teach them resilience.
How has your coaching journey changed your life?
I feel more relaxed. I see things differently. I’ve learned to learn how to establish significant and authentic connections. Being a coach means that you can physically work with someone online, which wasn’t possible decades ago. I learned to be imperfectly imperfect. I’ve been helping others in various ways, but I’ve also worked on myself to be the person I am today. I completely changed the way I interacted with people. I chose my friends more carefully. I stop hanging around toxic people. I’ve got now the POWER to say “NO”: “I’m sorry, but I won’t be doing it.” People get offended because I used to be a people pleaser, but now when my head and my body says no, I just listen to them. By doing this, some people disappeared but, believe me, dear Transformation Coaching reader, it was for the best.
What is the most challenging part of being a life coach?
I would say trying to help everyone, which might be impossible. I told myself a while ago but thinking about it now, I have a different vision. I wondered for a long time how I could help many people. And to me, this was possible via online learning and making books available online. Thanks to Natalie and Joeel Rivera, the founders of Transformation Academy, I’m in the process of creating an online school. This is why I have been working with a company in Canada that will accredit all of my courses. Lastly, it has been difficult for many people to comprehend what I do. I’m a teacher, an academic writer, an author, a course creator, and a coach, but people don’t get what coaching entails. People around me tell me that I should only focus on my teaching job, but my mind needs to be stimulated. I love thinking, writing, and helping others to succeed. You should only be doing one thing in people’s minds, but it is not valid. We can be focused on one job give 100 percent but still be a coach. People project their fears and insecurities, but it doesn’t affect me or change my thinking. I won’t change it for anyone. I know what I love. I know what my vocations are, so let’s help as many people as we can.
What is the most fulfilling part of being a life coach?
I would say, without a doubt, impacting others to thrive and transforming lives. It’s about making a positive difference on our own scale on this planet, no matter big or small. Living life on your own terms is what I appreciate a lot. The ability to work and travel anywhere are also things to be considered.
What has been your most inspirational coaching moment, with a client?
Generally speaking, people don’t like when we tell them the truth. As coaches, we need to use specific phrases or words to make clients aware of the progress they need to make. A few months ago, I coached a friend of mine. I asked her this simple question:
Me: “Are you aware that you keep showing me contempt after all these years?”
My friend: “Contempt?”
Me: “Absolutely. Do you know what it is?”
My friend: “I’m not too sure.”
Me: “Contempt is the only emotion with a unilateral facial expression, meaning that the expression is not symmetrical. The expression of contempt can occur with or without a hint of a smile or angry expression. It is characterized by a feeling of superiority over another.”
My friend: “So, what are you trying to tell me?”
Me: “It’s pretty simple. You told me that you had issues with your husband for many years, but you didn’t quite understand why it kept happening.”
My friend: “That’s true.”
Me: “Well, when you will fully become aware that you are doing it, it’s the moment when everything will change positively in your relationship.”
My friend: “Why?”
Me: “People who show contempt feel, once again, superior to the person they are interacting with. This is what you’ve been doing for years. You sent your husband [non-verbal messages] saying that you’re superior to him, which is why you’ve had issues in your couple for so long.”
I talked to my friend and then told her that she should be aware of the unspoken words. Our body speaks so as our faces. Be aware of it, try to change it, and then you’ll see a difference. I gave her many practical tips that allowed her to make those changes and improve her relationship with her husband.
What is your favorite coaching activity or exercise to do with clients?
One of my favorite coaching activities is the Wheel of Life because it helps me and my clients visualize all the critical areas of their life at once.
What has been the most effective strategy for finding clients and/or growing your business?
One of my favorite coaching activities is the wheel of life because it helps me visualize all the critical areas of my life at once.
What advice would you give YOURSELF back when you first dreamed of becoming a coach?
I haven’t started my business per se. I’m still in the process of doing it, but I would say that one piece of advice that I could give to anyone is to find a niche first. What are you good at? What life experiences do you have? Do some research. Think from pain points and how much support a person needs. It seems easier said than done, but it is achievable.
What is the impact you want to make in this world?
First of all, when I was a child, I didn’t know what communication was and how to communicate. I was often misunderstood, judged, hated, and bullied by many of my classmates to the point that I had bruises on my body. I’ve learned with time that it is ok not to be ok. Why can’t we cry when we need to? Why can’t we show happiness around us? I’ve learned that being emotional and being me was hard all of these years. People, your institution, even your colleagues have told me that I should behave in a certain way and not show my true feelings. “But why?” did I ask myself. Being yourself and your true self means being able to show your feelings and be you. I’m now me, and I can tell you that it feels incredible. Stop hiding and start living! Learning people skills, as well as body language, opened a new world to me. We need to be AUTHENTIC. Authenticity, in fact, is the key to success. When you are flamboyant and use non-verbal communication to express yourself, you will see that a new world will come to you.
Is there anything else you would like to share with Transformation Coaching Magazine readers?
Never let any limiting beliefs or all those voices in your head tell you that you aren’t good enough. Believe that you’re on Earth to accomplish great work and help people heal differently. Never lose hope because life lessons are the best. You might have touched rock bottom, but when you’ll be on your feet. Never let anyone tell you that you are not good enough. You are talented, and you are beautiful. You are excellent at what you do. Be an authentic version of yourself. Live life to the fullest and Be exceptional.
Stéphane Narcis, is the founder and CEO of Stéphane NARCIS™. She is an online course creator, teacher of modern foreign languages, body language and lie detection expert from Réunion Island. His mission is to help leaders, teachers, and professionals in all industries to achieve their goals. Stéphane has always been a dreamer and an achiever. He understands that purpose exists in everything, and he believes you have two choices: to allow any unexpected or negative aspect of life to be a curse, or to turn it into a blessing. Living on purpose means using your natural talents, following your natural interests, and living in alignment with your true self. In other words, you are doing what you should be doing! Our roles, careers, hobbies, and relationships are often chosen more due to our conditioning or because we feel w “should” rather than because they fit who we indeed are. It is no surprise that the people who make decisions for their lives based on who they really are and what they genuinely want are more satisfied and successful. Stéphane’s philosophy can be summarized in a few words: Be your true self. Be whom you want to be. Never let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough because, in actual fact, they project all their insecurities on you. Connect to Stéphane at https://www.facebook.com/narcisstephane or https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanenarcis/