By Jessi Franz
“In a gentle way, you can shake the world”—Mahatma Gandhi
I tend to be a voice supporting, “Take care of yourself first.” It’s because you cannot pour from an empty cup. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you will not be able to give your best self to others. At the same time, helping others can contribute to our own well-being; by helping others, often times we are helping ourselves.
From a psychological standpoint, there is evidence that helping others can promote physiological changes that are linked to happiness in the brain. For one, in the moments that we are helping others, whether it’s through an emotionally hard time or lending a hand to help with a move, we are temporarily getting “out of ourselves.” Still, the effect of kindness is extremely undervalued in today’s Western society. It’s time to change that!
Finding the balance of helping others, while maintaining our own social and emotional well-being, is a complicated place of equilibrium to find—but it’s not impossible. In fact, helping others and giving our time in those moments might just be what we need to enhance our emotional and mental well-being. In acts of service, we are temporarily forgetting our own struggles and hardships, focusing on others, and figuring out what we can do to be a light in their lives. It’s not only a gift to them, but it’s a gift to ourselves as well.
There have been many studies that support the lasting effects that helping others have on our overall happiness. I’m not talking about just interviewing people and asking if helping someone else generated happiness. I’m talking about repeated experiments, interviews with all types of people from all walks of life, brain scans, etc. Scientists actually have discovered that people can enhance their own personal happiness simply by the act of being selfless. (If you are interested in finding out more about happiness, check out the Netflix documentary Happy, an award-winning film written, directed and co-produced by Roko Belic.)
By helping others, we are pushing ourselves to be more socially active and aware. This can assist in times of loneliness or when you feel withdrawn, especially as the world continues to struggle with isolation. Last year, for example, Americans’ happiness was at a five-decade low during the height of the Covid-19 pandemic, despite being satisfied with their financial situation, according to a survey from the University of Chicago.
We often get an intense feeling of purpose and we become satisfied with who we are as a human being. It can enhance our connections with others, and simple social interaction is critical—even for those who are introverted.
From another perspective, when I am sharing my personal story of passed hardships and overcoming, it tends to take me back to those dark days. And this can be a good thing: I remember how bad it was, and that allows me to be continuously grateful for where my life is today. Even on my “bad days” my life is still so, so good.
When we dive into helping others, specifically those less fortunate than ourselves, it has power to put things into perspective. There will be times when we need to get out of ourselves—see how others live with challenges—and this can bring on a new perspective and an attitude of gratitude for the way our personal everyday lives look.
Now let’s talk about self-esteem. When we are struggling with our own self-worth, one of the best things we can do is to get out and volunteer. Many studies have shown that those who volunteer on a consistent basis tend to have higher self-esteem and a greater sense of well being and confidence, not only in themselves, but in their everyday life and decisions. Performing acts of kindness, regardless of how big or how small, naturally becomes a mood booster which, in return, allows you to have a “glass half-full” perspective.
After a day of working with clients who have the desire and the fire to heal, grow, discover and embrace their authentic selves, feelings of gratitude, fulfillment, and a sense of wholeness fill my cup because, in those moments, I am not focused on myself, but on others. Sometimes, it’s just what the soul needs. Plus, the advice I give to others I sometimes needed to hear myself!
“Do more than belong: participate.
Do more than care: help.
Do more than believe: practice.
Do more than be fair: be kind.
Do more than forgive: forget.
Do more than dream: work.”
—William Arthur Ward
Jessi Franz is the wife of an amazing, supportive husband, TJ, and she has four beautiful children. She is a public speaker, university graduate with my BA in Behavioral Sciences, certified Master Life Coach, Recovery Coach, Relationship Coach, Goal Success Life Coach, Happiness Life Coach and Life Purpose Life Coach. Jessi has made it her life’s mission to help as many people as possible, in all walks of life, to find peace during chaos and confidence in their authentic Self, and to help them embrace their personal journeys. She has completed extensive studies on many therapeutic techniques to help beautiful souls overcome adversity, whatever it may be, and to reach their full potential. Contact her at jessifranz90@gmail.com.