by Janet Reynolds
Sometimes your life can change in the blink of an eye, and if you didn’t see what was coming, it can rattle your cage for quite a while afterward. “Drastic” is the word I often use to describe what happened when I was 32 and divorced with two sons.
At the time, I had a personal and business relationship with one of my clients and was very much in love with him. We merged our two businesses into one office space and our relationship grew. I was on birth control pills and had been for 12 years. I would have tests every six months to make sure everything was normal, and Dr. G. would take the time to speak to me after each test.
I was home one morning and the phone rang. When I answered it, Dr. G. was on the line to tell me I had cancer of the uterus, it was in stage four, and I needed to come to his office so he could explain it to me in detail.
My head started spinning and all I could hear was the word “cancer.” I thought I was going to pass out. I think the fact that he broke this devastating news over the phone with no regard to my feelings really upset me more than the appearance of cancer itself.
I pulled myself together and told him I would be there the next day. I got off the phone and sat down. I stayed sitting for a while. I was home by myself because my boys had already left for school. I was going to work but I hadn’t been in a hurry. I picked the phone up and called Charlie, whom I had been seeing for three years. I told him what the doctor had said and asked him to go with me the next morning. We met with Dr. G. and he explained everything he possibly could about the “cancer.” He also informed me that I needed to have a hysterectomy—and I had to do it soon.
I looked at the doctor and basically said nothing. I just listened while thoughts raced through my mind. How could this be happening? I was speechless.
You see, in my heart I knew I was going to have a daughter.
I even knew what her name was going to be. A hysterectomy would alter everything I knew to be true about my life and would eliminate the possibility of giving birth to another child. I remember telling the doctor that I would get back to him with my answer because I needed to go home and think.
The Decision
I did more than think. I talked with Charlie that evening and told him I wanted one more baby. I then asked him what his feelings were on this, knowing I was asking for quite a lot. What I have not mentioned is that Charlie was married with four children of his own. I had been the “other woman” for the past three years.
I understood what I was doing and, while that did not make it right, he had always indicated that he would leave his wife to marry me. His stated “intention of divorce” is what kept me in the picture. After much conversation, he did agree to allow me to get pregnant if that was what I wanted. I knew above all that I wanted that daughter—the girl who would be called Maiteland after my mother.
I had another meeting with Dr. G. to let him know what I wanted to do.
I told him I hoped to deliver one more child before the hysterectomy.
He was not happy with my decision and gave me many warnings. At the same time, he also told me what kind of surgery might help safely deliver a baby, given my cancerous uterus.
I never did tell my sons that I had cancer but I did inform them I needed to have a procedure. Their dad wasn’t in the picture for them, and I didn’t want them to think they were going to lose their mother, too.
After the surgery I had one more checkup with Dr. G., who let me know that everything looked good, but that there were no guarantees. He informed me that I needed to retain a lawyer for a living will and to find a new doctor were I to get pregnant. Dr. G. had decided to give up his medical practice so he recommended Dr. B., a surgeon who could handle any complications of my pregnancy.
The lawyer I would have to find myself. When a doctor tells you to write your will, a rather large lump lodges in your stomach. But I was adamant about continuing with my plan to have another child. I met with Dr. B. who outlined the tests I would need to have over the course of my pregnancy, just to make sure everything was going smoothly. The doctor was also able to recommend an attorney friend of his to handle the living will.
Dr. B. put me on another birth control method for a year because he thought that my body needed to recover at least that long from the procedure. Then I had two miscarriages. It had been 11 years since my last son’s birth and, even though I was healthy, my body was not accepting the pregnancy.
The Joy and Gratitude
It was January, and Charlie and I were in New York. I just knew I was pregnant. I remember so vividly being in that hotel room, telling him I was pregnant and asking if he was still onboard with it. I knew he had agreed well over a year ago, but I wanted his feelings on the situation now. I was prepared to do whatever I had to do if he didn’t agree now. He let me know it was fine. You know there are times when things are meant to be, even when situations are hard.
I gave birth to my daughter in September of that year.
I was happy she was born in September because it was the same month as my own birthday. Exactly as I knew I would—from the time I was eight years old—I named my beautiful daughter “Maiteland Marie.”
Three months later, I finally had the hysterectomy.
Even in the face of a cancer diagnosis, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Today, I feel I am cured and I am so very thankful for how everything transpired. I still make sure to have the tests on schedule, but decades have now passed and my daughter has made me a grandmother twice over.
When something is meant to be, the Universe somehow lines everything up in our favor. In my case, I had exactly the doctors I needed, who were willing to go along with my wishes. And I am so grateful to my daughter’s father for allowing me to take that chance with his own future. What could have been a death sentence for me ended up bringing new life into this world. And here I am all these years later, adding this milestone to my ongoing life story, which isn’t over yet—not by a long shot.
Rev. Janet M. Reynolds is a Certified Spirit Medium and ordained minister with a private practice in Tampa, FL. She specializes in practical channeled guidance from the spirit world, through private intuitive consultations and group séance gatherings. She is a graduate of the mediumship certification program of the College of Metaphysical Studies, and has also studied at The Metaphysical Academy and the Arthur Finlay College of Psychic and Mediumship in England. Janet was ordained as a minister through Harmony Church and currently serves at People’s Spiritualist Church. Certified in clinical hypnotherapy by the American Institute of Hypnotherapy, Janet obtained advanced instruction in hypnosis and past life regression at the Edgar Cayce Foundation. She has studied medical intuition with Caroline Myss and Dr. Norman Shealy and is a certified Reiki Master. Contact Janet at janet@bluefeather.net.